I’m very proud and excited to announce that I’ve been working on my very first book, an affirmation book called “Dear Mommy, these are for you.” By yours truly ❤️ created for all the Mother’s around the world.
🌟 Dropping via E-book soon 🌟
In less than 24 hrs
The family is back in America! The kids are back from Ghana after one year. There were so many tears leaving to the airport from their Nanny and I’m sure their Nana. I say I’m sure because I didn’t see her cry but I just know she did. She’s been with her grandkids for a whole year. Her home went from a loud/loving cheerful kid zone to a quiet zone. No kids in sight… I told her not to be sad because it’s only temporary & she has so much going on it, time will fly and she’ll see her babies again.
As for me….
It’s time for me to mommy again! Between the flying with the kids (which they did great by the way… no crying, a little restlessness but only at the very end) I also flew with Papa bear so that made things a little bit easier… Immigration said nothing at all which was surprising because they have been away so long… They both had a look of excitement but also a tiny bit of sadness. They’ve been in Ghana and around certain people for months and now they’re back to a different environment with certain memories they may or may not remember.
We’ve moved yet again so they hadn’t even seen anything around us & surprisingly, my son kept on talking about our previous place and I kept on telling him that we don’t live there anymore. My daughter doesn’t understand the concept of destination yet but I know she absolutely misses her Nana.
Seeing my kids in our new place so surreal. Now our place is the loud & happy zone. There are toys everywhere, I’m cleaning up after them and doing all the things that a mother should do. It’s natural instinct for me so I know exactly what I’m doing but I’m also thinking to myself, wow this is so much work and I can’t believe I used to do this before on my own.
The biggest difference is the fact that now my children are older which means, I have to deal with two different characters, two different emotions and two different needs at the same time. It can be very demanding and they don’t understand that I need them to patient with me and each other. I’m convinced that I hear my name “mom” 100 times a day if not more.
I’m so happy to have my children back in our home but I would by lying if I said it’s been a “walk in the park.” I just have to keep remembering why I took a back step, to be with my children! To make the lasting memories in their heads which my father/their grandfather told me. It’s about what they remember while they are growing up and they won’t forget you being and doing many things for them. This actually make perfect sense because memories last but time does not.
Our routine starts once again and I’ll keep you updated along the way.
Distance makes the heart.
Mommy is finally back!
I missed my babies so much! Their love and affection, their smiles and laughs, their bond, I just missed everything about them.
I got in two days ago early in the morning, the moment I stepped in the door first thing I heard was my son crying and saying my name. It was so emotional, he was so overcome with joy he couldn’t believe that I had finally made it home and not just me, Papa bear too. This was the absolute best feeling in the whole wide world I can hardly explain it. There’s something between a bond with parents and their children that is so amazing and so beautiful. I’ve been away for almost a month again, maybe a bit less but all I know is I am so happy to be around the two loves of my life!
I mentioned before, I don’t want to miss any moments of anything and I’ve already made so many more memories with them in such a short period of time. They’ve grown so much, they are talking better, they are writing and they are so intelligent. I can’t believe my eyes and ears. I will absolutely not miss any moments so long as I don’t have to.
I already made the decision that I’m going to cut back on work because it’s almost unbearable, these days, I need to be with my children. These are the moments that they will remember and these are the times where I need to be around for them no matter what.
I pray God continues to provide for my family and continues to protect us as we grow and I know everything will work out for the better.
My children are my life and although I also have a life outside of my children there’s nothing like their unconditional love. We are growing together and we are learning together and I’m just so excited to be in their presence once again. How I’ve missed these two voices.
The bond is so strong & for the past three days even the slightest separation, needing to go do something, they are both afraid that I’m going and I won’t come back again… it makes me feel some kind of way but I tell them “mommy isn’t going anywhere, not this time and when mommy does go somewhere, you’re coming with me.” then their face is light right back up.
Life is so precious, and the most important thing is making memories and that’s what I plan to do. I’ve always been a hands-on mom, I do a lot of things with the children. I feel like I’m stepping into a new zone with them I look forward to everything that is to come.
Cheers to motherhood 🥂
A special message from my son via talk to text
“Thank you airplans for bringing Mommy back I love mommy Barry so much, I love you in the whole wide wide mommy. When I when she gives me something I like when she give me snacks and food I will eat it but the things I don’t want to eat I want mommy to give me nice food. I love mommy so much.”
Big girl Jada 💞
The other day I got a message in my what’s app from my nanny. She said “I have a surprise for you.” I couldn’t guess what it was at all so I basically said tell me, with anticipation. It was a video of my sweet baby girl Jada writing ✍️!!!!!!!! I was in shock. It was a beautiful surprise to see.
I honestly couldn’t believe my eyes. She was holding the pencil perfectly, her other hand was placed on her workbook so it wouldn’t slide and she could trace her big and small letter (E,e’s).
Child development really happens in such a short period of time and the most important factor is her watching and learning mentally before going about it by herself! This is amazing. Jaden gets a lot of workbook tracing letter activities and when I do homework with him, she always said, “where is my own” which sometimes I had and sometimes I didn’t. She has been mentally preparing for this moment and she reached her own personal achievement when she finally got the chance, isn’t that just beautiful.
I am extremely proud of both of my children. They learn an incredible amount from each other as I would imagine. My son has now turned 5 and he just started picking up his writing skills towards the end of his four year old era! I would be lying if I didn’t say to myself “when will he start” but the minute school opened back up (another blog for another day) he picked it up and a few short weeks! I was just as happy for him as I am for my daughter and children develops skills at different times, the only difference is that she has started at the end of her 2 year old era on the way to age 3.
I end this blog by saying, let your children pick skills up without pressure. The new mom always wants to say “why is my child not doing this yet.” The veteran mom says “they WILL get it” and guess what, they do & you’ll be so proud of those moments when they do come about.
Dear Jaden. I love you and I am sorry.
Happy New Year everyone, I hope you are all well, I hope you have all adjusted to our new way of living (a blog for another day) what I can say is, let’s thank God we have made it this far…. always thankful and grateful for that.
You will not believe me when I tell you that my boy is 5 years old now! Yup…. he is the reason I started this blog on the first place, to let you in on my life and how it is with everything I am going through. I’m not always consistent with it but HEY! That’s life and I have things going on that sometimes I forget to blog about.
As I said, my baby (not so baby) turned 5 years old! I have been a mother for five whole years! I can’t believe it. Where did time the time fly? Where did it go… Jaden is so intelligent, caring, such a unique individual, kind and just the most amazing big brother to his younger sister. I know I have touched on these things before but honestly, I see the growth and changes in him. My boy is five!!!!!!! It’s such an honor being his mother and I’m so blessed to have him has one of the loves of my life.
We threw him a water theme birthday party, his favorite. He wanted a dinosaur cake, more specifically a Godzilla cake. I absolutely organized that and shout out to the cake maker (Cake My Day) who did a wonderful job pulling it off… I was worried but she’s great. His friends were there, his dad, his sister and auntie and uncle‘s… I heard it was a wonderful day!
Yep, I heard it was a wonderful day…
I wasn’t there, I was in America. I had to work and I was absolutely devastated and quite frankly I still am. These moments mean the world to me and I don’t like missing anything that has something to do with my children especially when it’s significant. It was an awful day for me at work I was crying and I was emotional and it really put a lot of things into perspective for me. Last year I had a blog called working mommy, a little bit of what I did and how it balances out but honestly I’m definitely taking a break from work because missing Jaden‘s birthday really made me sad. He’s completely forgotten about it but I haven’t forgotten about it in my soul and that’s why in my title for this blog is what it is.
you can’t get these moments back and making memories with my children is the most important thing to me amongst other things. If that means I have to put work on hold to be there… be present and make sure I don’t miss more moments, then so be it. I’ve already spoken to papa bear about how I feel and he completely understands and I know that he will always take care of us… He always has and always will.
I just wanted something for my own and I think it’s important for women to always have something of their own no matter what it is but when it comes down to my children, they absolutely come first.
The way I look at it is, so long as I haven’t burned any of the bridges of what I do then I’m perfectly fine with spending time with my children. I am a real hands-on mom. Even my daughter, she’s growing so beautifully and she is coming into her own and she too is intelligent and I want to be there for every single second of it even with the mommy moments that we all get of “I need a break.”
I might’ve lost sight a little bit… I know in life we have to do what we have to do. Me working was not in vain because it was for my children but again missing my son‘s birthday just change the perspective of a lot of things as I said.
Mommy loves you so much buddy and I know he’s forgotten but I just need a little bit more time to forgive myself.
Uncomfortable encounter.
As a black woman with a black husband and son, I am no stranger to what could possibly go on if we get stopped by the police. I know everyone has their own different opinions but I go by what I see not by what I hear.
Not too long ago in Ghana I got pulled over for no reason, I provided my drivers license and those idiots said “you don’t have an international permit.” So long story short, they took my license away. I wasn’t too bothered because it was about to expire and in one week I knew I could get a brand new one in the United States.
The only reason I hated the encounter was because in the midst of me having a missing document the police officer said “I have to arrest you.” I said “I’m not going anywhere and don’t you EVER speak to me like that in front of my children.” Once I said this, the officers eyes go big, he stretched his neck and saw both my children in the back and because of what he said, my son started crying. I was so pissed off!!!! Eventually they let me go and I left.
I couldn’t help but think about this encounter and how different it would have been if my children and I were in America.
Moving forward, I am back in the USA and just four days ago, I was driving my car. Nothing wrong, no speeding – nothing wrong at all but when I looked in my rear view mirror, who was behind me. The police. They were just there. We were both waiting for the light to change but the most eerie feeling came over my body. I was so nervous, my anxiety kicked in and my heart started pounding, literally pounding – I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and then I said out loud to myself “This is so sad, so so so sad.” The light turned green and we both went our own way.
I honestly couldn’t believe how scared I was seeing the police behind me and I did nothing. Isn’t that just the most awful thing. The police who we are suppose to make me feel protected rather put me in shock. I was genuinely sad for myself and I am a strong black woman. I can only imagine what others go through.
the point of me sharing is because there is a lot going on in our society, matter of fact, their always is but the bottom line is, people should be able to go through life with ease! & not this stress, I feel for many that are seen as minorities, we definitely have to move differently unfortunately weather we like it or not.
The other side of the table 🏥
I don’t usually share what I do … unless I decide to, but this is the exception.
I tech assisted in two C-sections (single baby & twins) a few days ago and I am still overcome with emotion. It was the most beautiful thing to see. I was doing what I do on one side, and I was witnessing life being born on the other side.
Giving birth whichever form is magical and I felt all the love and good energy in the OR. It’s funny being on the other side of the room not as mommy in labor, but part of the team who assists another mommy.
Truth be told when I saw the little beautiful babies, my eyes watered up and I absolutely got caught by everyone and they laughed and smiled. It might have been the “mom” in me, it might have been my passion or it might have just been the feeling I got when I had my own children but even though it wasn’t me lying down, I felt the same joy as the mothers and the adorable fathers.
I remember seeing my husbands face when the child is put on the baby bed for the first time, it’s this look of “wow, that’s my child, wow, look how little.” & to see that all over again in other husbands was still the same fuzzy feeling. They are always so proud.
Children are really a gift, I am very blessed to be able to do what I do especially with moments like this.
6 months later… (Post Covid – but not really)
I can’t believe we have gotten to a point, were wearing a mask seems normal.
I never thought I would get used to this, I don’t know if I like it. I don’t know if I have fully adjusted just yet. The thing is, life has to go on and there’s nothing we can do about that… But be extremely cautious and careful.
I have been living my life in Ghana, West Africa for six months. This is the longest I have ever been there. It was a blessing to be in a place like that during a time like this in the world because even though the virus did affect the area, they handled it well. They took care of the people and I never felt I wasn’t safe once.
My children have been happy, I have been happy and I even got the chance to go out a few times!! Can you believe that, in a time like this I was out with people and smiling, dancing and even having a few drinks, I miss doing things like that. It seems like once the fear is gone of something you can’t even see you just learn to adapt in some sort of way.
Now; I am finally back in the United States! The borders in Ghana were closed for such a long time and I lived that life. Suddenly, things were open again. Part of me never wanted to leave and face the reality of what I have to do but just like I said, I MUST.
A lot of people have been unemployed for months and one morning I woke up and I got a message from my recruiter and work was suddenly in my front… What a blessing. I don’t take it for granted but I also thought to myself, wow! Now I have to go back to work and do my contract mommy work stuff as I said in one of my posts before.
It’s a bittersweet feeling because I know I do this work for my beautiful children and for my family and even for myself but the bitter part was I decided to leave my children in Ghana because it was the right thing to do.
Why would I pull them away from that comfort and the sun and picking fruit off their Nana‘s tree, I wasn’t ready to do that to them and I wasn’t even ready for Papa bear to take on all that responsibility so soon even though we both miss them dearly.
The time will pass and all of our hard work is not in vain. This year has gone by so fast I can hardly remember each month but all I know is that soon, I will be back with my beautiful children and eventually we will all come back to the United States as a unit but until then I have to get my hustle on and I have to do things which I know I can do to make them comfortable when they do return.
It’s absolutely crazy that this virus is still living with us !!! where is this vaccine which I don’t even believe in? Will it ever come… Or is it just the media making us afraid for something that is to come more serious? Who knows. All I know is good things come on the other side of fear… So don’t be afraid and still achieve all the goals you need to achieve. We still have a few months left till 2021.
2020 has been very unpredictable and rocky year but don’t let that overcome you because 2020 has not defeated you or me or anyone and we can do this.
Covid-19 (Who the heck do you think you are!!!)
“The next ten is about to be the best ten.”
I would be interested to know how many of you said this. I know I did. I was so excited for the new decade. 2020! It was going to be a year extraordinary blessings for everyone on planet. I knew it was going to be the year where everyone reaches their personal goals and achievements, I just felt that kind of energy…
ha! I was wrong. A virus struck. Covid-19 (Corona virus) 😠 confusing everyone… it’s contagious, we’re scared, we’re learning about it through the television (which a is a terrible source in my opinion) it’s just a lot going on. “Schools will be closed.” Every parent in the world “HUH!?” “The borders will be closed.” Every single person in the world “HUH!?” What the heck is going on. More confusion, first we laugh, then we cry and then then they start tracing the #’s of this invisible virus and it’s increasing massively and people are now DYING!!!!!
Help, Help! “How can we help, when we’re just figuring it out too.” The whole word is a damn mess.
(FAST FORWARD)
Our children are at home with us every single day. What can I do as a mother to keep them entertained (my son hasn’t reached kindergarten just yet so there is no Zoom classes online like most the older students have in this pandemic. Do we read books? (yes) Do we practice writing? (yes) to we learn words? (yes) do we play games? (more than enough) But this system is on and on and on and on and day after day after day at one point things are just how they are… you’re living and surviving and just thanking God after all this time no one I care about has caught this thing!! So we stay grateful… but all in all this is crazy.
Children are so full of life, they love to do things and explore so it’s best to make the most out everything you have. Just because they are at home doesn’t mean they don’t have fun, and as time has passed and rules have relax there’s more flexibility.
I want to give shout out to all the teachers around the world! I’m sorry you don’t get paid more, you’re amazing.
(Fast forward)
As time has passed by, less confusion and more okay where is the cure… (Scientists scrambling for answers)
We understand the virus protocol. Hand sanitizers, wash your hands, WHERE YOUR MASK when you’re out. We are adjusting to this new life.
I honestly can’t believe this is the 2020 I an living in. I’m making it work and mind you, I am one of the citizen of America that is overseas, trapped. It’s been about 5 months. I’m not complaining though, I’m in Ghana. Yes the virus is here most definitely but I am safe in the home I’m in. I have help with my children and I don’t go out often unless It’s for essentials or to see people which is just house hopping and it’s a tiny list. My business hasn’t done the best this year, but I know a lot of businesses have suffered too.
Everything is so uncertain. How can I spend money on products, when I don’t know when I’ll make money again… The bills haven’t stopped overseas but luckily, everyone understands what’s going on & work is just slow. Unemployment is by force & even my other job has been put on hold and the work that has come up is too risky!
I pray there is a big shift with Covid-19 eventually soon but in the meantime, we wait.
Everyone that has made it to this point individually or with their family. Clap for yourself because it CAN get exhausting.
I’m so thankful I’ve had my whole family together for the most part, and most importantly again – we are safe! So yes, Covid-19 has taken over but we stand! we will make it and overcome this.
A big shout out to all the doctors and nurses who work day and night to help fight this thing and a special shout out to all the parents who have been watching their kids day in an out. It’s such a hard job.
There’s been no “Me-time.” But it will get better. We’ve celebrated birthday’s during this time. We may get mad at times but we still laugh and smile.
No matter the situation always try and look at the glass half full and stay optimistic as much as you can. Everyone is facing their own problems but some are also facing it head on and making the most out of it. It doesn’t have to be a bad time, just be cautious, follow the rules and stay safe.
A Studio Dream 🎶
A lot of you may not know this but when I’m not mommy-ing and wife-ing and doing my entrepreneur work! I am an artist (singer) named Coco Benson. Music has been in my family before I was born and it definitely trickled down to me. To make a long story short, I most definitely was on a journey of a music career but it came to a stop! & then I stopped! Fast forward 4 years till now! I decided to start doing music again which I am so happy about and the new journey of it will be bigger and better than ever so stay tuned for that!
Here is where my blog title starts. The other day, I had a studio session and it was the most amazing session because my son Jaden was involved! I’ve always dreamed of taking him to the studio! I’ve always dreamed of us being on some track together one day and it finally happened!
Such a beautiful moment it literally brought tears to my eyes and continues to do so every time I listen to it! First of all it’s emotional because it’s actually a praise song to God! I did it my way, exactly how I pictured it. Authentic and loving. Then my son is on it, which sounds adorable and I even tried something new on it which is rap! (I do not rap, unless I’m rapping with Nicki Minaj or Snoop Dogg) but I gave it a go and it worked out great!
Everything about this session was just amazing… I had about a week to perfect how I wanted to sing everything, I had a week to tell my son and prepare how I wanted him to do it and he did it! Seeing his little mouth by the mic 🎤 was so moving, and he did great because he’s only four so his attention span was eventually disappearing after telling him to do different takes but he pulled it off and I thank the producer so much for his patients and how he arranged everything.
I’m still waiting for the final product but I know it will sound great. The way this song is set up, it will definitely be an introductory song to all the other music I do… In the music world we call it an intro.
I think the whole experience is overwhelmingly beautiful because again not only did I get to record with my son, but I would never think after so many years I would get back in a studio room and just feel more free than ever… Music is always been a passion of mine, and I’m so happy that It came back into my life.
I look forward to sharing my music with the world again because I’ve been saying “I’m breaking necks this year” LOL
PS.if you are interested in following my journey you can follow me on
Instagram: @cocobenson_
Facebook : TheCocoBenson
YouTube or Apple Music, Spotify : Coco Benson
Four Years Of Motherhood 🎈
My big boy Jaden is about to be FOUR years old this Saturday!!! I’m literally going to be raising a four year old boy! Wow. Four years of motherhood! Four years of amazing memories. Four years of amazing growth, such a beautiful experience. Being a mommy to Jaden is the best thing on this earth! I wouldn’t change it for anything.
As I get older I realize this was always my path because I love being a mommy but as time goes by, I’ve found balance and I can accomplish everything I want to while still being a mommy. Of course there are sacrifices at times but it’s short lived! What’s important is that my kids know I love them unconditionally and that I’ll go above and beyond for them. Everything that I thought I couldn’t accomplish before or fell a part, are now coming together and it’s all God’s timing because maybe before I wasn’t ready or maybe I needed a different kind of motivation which I get from my children.
Life is what you make it and you have to enjoy the moments you can, create new memories daily and learn to be better each day.
I am so proud of my boy! Four years old! Smart, talkative, learning how to read (I just found out yesterday while we are doing night time stories) He’s asking questions, he tells me stories and sings songs and his brain is so creative! The list goes on and on. I am so blessed to be his mother! He’s a great big brother, who takes care of his sister and teaches her (good and sometimes naughty things lol) but their bond is unbreakable. I’m loving the little big boy he’s becoming and I know he’ll continue to do amazing things with God on his side and US.
Cheers to Papa bear and myself!
Sad Mommy :(
My last blog was about being a working contract mommy and this blog is about being a sad mommy 😦
I haven’t seen my kids for about two and half maybe three weeks soon and it’s really taking a toll on me. I miss them so much. I miss their presence and kisses and hugs and my son and daughter just following me around everywhere just because…. this is the sad part about the hustle and sacrifice. You do these things for the better but then you don’t want to do these things because of what you’re essentially leaving behind. It’s such a catch 22!
I believe all sacrifice is never in vain and there are definitely rewards for it but it’s so damn hard! In my perfect world, I’m doing nothing but taking care of my babies but I have a lot of other stuff going on so I have to keep pushing.
😦 don’t really feel like writing anymore….
Mommies New Leaf 