Is there a groom yourself age limit?

Is there a grooming age limit for children?

I randomly came across this question while looking at the picture above.

My son Jaden loves to be pampered. Is it wrong that I let him at age three? I’m literally grooming him to enjoy good things. He loves to get pedicures on his tiny little toes and as you can see he knows what a good back massage and foot massage is. He says  “mommy, can you massage my feet or scratch my back.” Like!!! what do you know about that you little three old!

Honestly, I don’t mind treating him to mommies sweet foot massage or little back scratch. When I was younger, I remember my mom scratching my back when I asked it was the sweetest thing ever so maybe I’m just following a trait.

Am I training him up to be spoiled in this kind of way… Is it going to drive his lovely girlfriend or wife up the wall one day because he’s going to be asking for these things on demand… They do say we set up our children and then they are who they are, but I also believe that you’re never too young to enjoy something good as long as you know the value of it. I make sure I tell my son every day to be thankful, say his prayers and make sure he knows that some people don’t have things that he has and I use food as a good example. When he wants something and doesn’t feel like  eating it after he asked for it, I let him know that not everyone is fortunate enough to have a meal on their table on demand like you do so please finish up your food and it usually works. 

Everything is about moderation. Grooming is a part of life. I believe that kids should know how to put their shoes in order, know how to dress, brush their hair and teeth and know a routine and sometimes that routine consist of enjoying good things like pedicures and back massages.

At the end of the day, I know what I’m doing… I hope lol in the  meantime I will let his little three-old self, soon to be four enjoy those little things, but if I noticed him asking for something way more than often then it all comes to a stop and I’ll definitely have to deal with that consequence “C’est la vie” sometimes.

 

 

A never ending journey to a magical place. Bali, Indonesia.

For the first time, the children and I spent the Christmas/New Year season in a brand new place, Bali! Such an amazing place. The culture, the people, the enjoyment and food and touristy things… it was just one trip for the books that I will never forget. We did so much; monkey sanctuaries and snorkeling and temples & beaching… the list could go on.

Despite having a blast and literally living my best mommy life (how right?! With two toddlers there) One word NANNY! They practically cost nothing per hour I mean I was shocked at how little I had to pay for so many hours of childcare. I definitely got my money’s worth but before I get side tracked AGAIN despite having a blast, THE JOURNEY there and back was a nightmare.

First off and so sad, papa bear couldn’t make it because of passports issues! I was already two arms and two legs short of what I needed but I’m super mom and I always make it work which I did. Was it easy? Absolutely not! We were on three airplanes both coming and going and the trip took a total of 23 hours! Can you believe that! I mean who doesn’t want to enjoy paradise but 23 hours with toddlers… I realized I really must have needed that break.

Jaden and Jada did amazingly well with all that up and down flying but when that restlessness set in, let’s say I was looking for the extra help I needed from papa bear. I had to keep them busy and feed them and change them and make sure I ate and didn’t spill my wine which I did multiple times because how much space can I have with a toddler on my lap (she is about to turn two and those days are soon sadly over $$$$$) but yes, it was a lot ! From Atlanta to Canada to Hong Kong to Bali I mean can someone give me my damn motherhood of the year award already…. that’s motherhood though isn’t it! So much doing and little getting. I accept it because I do it all out of love.

Going on such a crazy long journey with the kids really made me evaluate how I do things for myself… Just as little as getting the stroller together, and making sure this bag is here and these toys are there and the drinks are here. It’s so exhausting!… But again I did it. Every single detail counts when it comes to traveling with children and sometimes you get annoyed with yourself, because you do end up taking stuff you didn’t even need anything to yourself why the heck didn’t I check that in!!! I’m just so happy that it worked out and I didn’t have a breakdown now this is just us getting to Paradise not to mention us leaving Paradise… I change the whole flight plan because I had to get my kids to west Africa and from Bali to buy his clothes and from Dubai west Africa is close so why would I take myself all the way back to the United States when I’m closer than ever. I’m  just so happy that it worked out and I didn’t have a mommy breakdown but then I did. That was just us getting to paradise not to mention us leaving paradise.

I change the whole flight plan because I had to get my kids to West Africa and from Bali to Dubai is relatively close  and from Dubai to West Africa is close so why would I take myself all the way back to the United States when I’m closer than ever right?! I got myself in so much shit lol 😆 I happen to find an amazingly cheap ticket to get us where we needed to go but the flight plan was horrific… Bali to China, to Hong Kong to Dubai. I literally flew up and down I mean what was I thinking, those were one of those I feel terrible moments because I should’ve put my kids through that even though we all survived it. Let’s just say next time no cutting corners!! I’m  paying the full price and taking the fastest route. Even though I was in China for such a short time they were giving me so many problems just to do a transit and that’s when I had my mommy break down. Immigration there was asking me for all sorts of things for no reason why does this passport have this name, why does this passport have this name, obviously I’n married mr. Immigration… Maiden name, married name! I was just so happy that they gave us our quick 24 hour transit and I could get out of there. It’s already hard enough that I was doing an Israelite journey &  I didn’t need any crap from any immigration officer’s.

When I think of everything as a whole I just think wow 😳  there can be a price to pay to make it to Paradise… But, I guess it’s all part of the journey but let me tell you something if I ever do any type of trip like that again there’s absolutely NO WAY I’m doing it alone without papa bear point blank period!!

 

Motherhood. The new decade. (Happy New Year)

Happy New Year! A new decade is amongst us and I have so much to share again. I took a break because well state the obvious I was mommy-ing, but I was also wife-ing and working! Yup that’s right WORKING (not your regular 9-5 either) but we’ll save that blog for another day.

Jaden and Jada have grown up so much, there characters are something to share. What they say and what they do and how they bond is something special and I look forward to sharing this all from my eyes in words.

Stay tuned and again,
happy new year. May we all have a great start to the new year 🥂

Another ONE 💗

Papa Bear & myself did it again. We made the accomplishment of another child surviving to ONE. Jada our little princess.

We had a fun little party at an indoor play place just like we did for Jaden at the time. Games, food & good conversation. Nothing over the top. She had a blast, her brother had a blast & so did their cousins. We both Thank God she is growing beautifully , healthy  and is already learning things at an amazingly fast pace. She knows how to say her name to her best ability and she knows how to play peek-a-boo & run if you tell her to run, she recognizes most faces she’s seen like her Nana & Grandpa and aunties, she even knows how to sing “Johnny Johnny” which by the  way is the cutest thing ever. I am happy, I don’t know anything about raising a little girl but I’m learning Day by day and if I’ve done it with my son, and continue to do so, I know I can do it….

& NOW. Down to the NITTY GRITTY.

Jada is so different than her brother, at times I thought she would be more calm… she actually more wild. She really doesn’t take  nonsense at her age. She is VERY demanding whether it be with me or her brother/father. She knows how to get what she wants just by her non speaking voice so I can only imagine when the words start coming up. Jada is adorable but she’s a handful & half. I’m catching on to her ways and I’m trying to keep up.

I don’t know if I believe in horoscopes anymore but my daughter is a Gemini & sometimes I can see both sides of her in a span of ten minutes but I’m the QUEEN of the castle & whether she likes it or not I have to firmly put my foot down lol

The relationship between Jaden & her brother  is still amazing & I think they have their communication lingo locked it. They definitely balance each other out even though Jaden will pull the big brother card at times, he has the right to though. They are both independent but also love each other’s company and it’s everything I could ever image it to be.

Jada’s development is daily and I’m just happy I can to experience it all again for the second time around… I do miss some moments, I was very on point with my son, caught everyone moment. With her, it’s just like a smooth ride of “oh you have teeth now” but for her brother it was “grab the camera, teeth, teeth, teeth.” Nevertheless I’m enjoying it all, because they are only so small for such a short time.

Banana Split 🍌

It’s 5:37am May 14th 2019. I got woken up by a crying son who thought I wasn’t around. “I want my mommy, where’s my mommy” I instantly cuddled him and said “I’m here Jaden I’m right here.” His sleepy  crying eyes started to realize that he was dreaming and he’s calmed down.

Suddenly my daughter who is still breastfeeding starts to cry because I’ve pulled her off her milk supply. She’s making all types of noises and I can tell she’s upset she’s not drinking her milk… I put her back on.

Jaden now says he wants to cuddle with me again and he wants to sleep on my chest. “I’m feeding your sister” I said and again he just got upset!

It’s times like this, I wish I was two of me. It’s so hard to give the exact attention to both of them at the same time when they both need it. They both want to be close to me, they both want to lay their head on my chest but my chest is only so big 😦 dilemmas and quick thinking. I shifted my girl to the left, I moved him to the right and I’m laying down straight so I can give them half a side each. It temporarily worked but they were both still complaining small, lucky for me the “sand man” came and put them back to sleep.

My son has now scooted over to right and my daughter is about to be scooted to the left so I can catch a few more zzz’s

Oh the joys of motherhood.

A girl named Jada.

The last time I properly spoke about my daughter I mentioned how she was barely opening her eyes. Eleven months later, her eyes are big, beautiful and brown.

My sweet girl. Full name Jada Folasade. I never thought I’d find love quite like this. She’s just like my Jaden but a girl version. She’s coming into her own little sassy self! She’s addicted to me, even more than her big brother was at this age. She practically screams at the top of her lungs when I turn my back or walk away… it’s something to see but do I mind?! Not really, I’m flattered that a little human being can love someone so much. It makes me happy. Yes, there are times when it can drive others to confusion and when I need a moment to focus on her brother or another things it can be quite bothersome but it’s all out of Love.

My daughter is a real little girl. She’s so cute and cuddly, smart and her smiles just light up the room. She herself is an amazing younger sister. She loves to play with Jaden, she loves to share & when she hears his voice, her whole face lights up. It’s match made.

In one month, she’s already about to be one years old and I can’t believe it. Time just simply goes by too fast. She was just a baby that we took on a family trip to New Orleans and now she’s a little madam who takes command and ALWAYS wants to eat my food, and eat on her own and stand and talk her baby talk and test her brother… (what do I mean test? Stay tuned for the next blog or two away )  😉

I am a very proud mother, I really am raising two amazing kids, it’s never easy but it’s constant learning and growing for myself and them and between us I remember when my doctor said my son Jaden would be a girl I felt some way… but a life without my sweet princess in it doesn’t make sense now. She’s another part of my puzzle, another part of her brother and another part of our family which we are in love with.

I’m curious about the woman she’s going to become. The different stages of growth. Her style and attitude and how she’ll carry herself.  I think about this with both my children.  It’s an amazing thought that time will eventually reveal all.

I love my princess so much just like I love my son and I’m just so thankful that they have an amazing bond with each other even though it’s a year and 3 months apart. They go together like PB&J. Watching them together is like an amazing surreal movie. These interactions between her and her brother are  the best thing a mother could watch.

This little girl has brought something special to our family.  🙂

Threenager…

Hi readers,

I am finally back…. life has been happening so I didn’t have time to blog because my mind wasn’t there but suddenly today I had the urge to get back to writing so here I am.

The last time I spoke about my new born baby girl who is about to be one years old in one more month 🤯 & a big brother who has been oh so caring, loving & protective… but there’s more… AGE THREE.

That’s right my big boy is finally three years old and the experience is like no other. He’s wild. When I say wild, I mean it. Three is interesting, the kids are on self discovery like never before but now they talk more & talk back. They know what they are doing and saying & know exactly what buttons to press. Three has been interesting like I just say say.

Jaden is one of the loves of my life but sometimes I feel bad because he drives me to crazy village with his threenager antics. When he’s getting disciplined sometimes it works and sometimes he pulls out the crocodile tears to make me feel bad which these days don’t work lol! I really have to stand my ground if not this little boy could finish me off like the last one on one on a battle field.

The love is unconditional but the wahala aka the trouble he gives can be a bit too much. I am hands on deck as a mother but now I’m dealing with two sides. A growing baby and a toddler and it is a whole lot. I know I got it though but keep the wine coming along with it 🤣

I am extremely blessed nevertheless to have a three year old because it means I’ve been a mother for three years and that’s amazing to me. I’ve grown so much as a woman and taking care of two just shows me a different  side of life not to mention I am soft and hard at the same time because I have a boy and girl.

My son may be wild but he’s still amazing and intelligent. Remembering big words, colors. Enjoying making friends and school & knowing exactly what he wants  and he’s still an amazing big brother. He really loves his little sister and she loves him back and it amazes me when he says things like “mommy this is for Jada.” He’s so involved with her and even if he has moment where he doesn’t want to share his one toy with her, he’ll find something she does like and he’ll give it her! That’s the BIG BROTHER move.

The observation continues.

Time & Two

I can’t belive I have two children. It’s the most surreal thing before my eyes. One minute I’m pregnant with my first and TIME happens. The baby is born and he grows up to be his own little person. Next minute I’m pregnant with another and TIME let’s me realize “girl, you got two kids now.” … I was just pregnant, how is it that my baby girl is about to be two months old in 3 days! I mean WHAT, WHEN & HOW!

Time really does go by fast and you have to embrace every moment of it because it also waits for no one. I’m so grateful for my children, they have both shown me I can be a woman that I never knew.

My son Jaden is really the best big brother. He’s so caring of his little sister and he loves helping me help her which is so important. The only time he’s jealous is if he’s tired and I’m carrying her and he wants to be carried, otherwise he’s fantastic. Amongst him embracing that he’s not an only child anymore, he’s been doing some growing of his own. He speaks full proper sentences. He’s organized with his toys (even if the whole place looks scattered) he knows how to say “Please, Thank you and Sorry” (There’s an interesting “sorry” blog to come featuring his grandpa later this month) … he knows colors, he loves to read, he appreciates his classmates… the list goes on and on. I’m so proud of my boy and in two short amazing years this has all happened so I can only imagine what is to come. TIME will tell.

My little girl with her sweet angelic face, eyes barely open to open bat 🦇 eyes throughout the day and especially at night. She loves to smile, she’s extremely alert and she on the way with her motor skills in no time. She has amazing control with her head lifting up and she certainly knows how to kick a blanket off in a jiffy 😆 she’s growing so fast and I can’t wait till both of them are in motion because I know how much fun they will have together. She loves her milk and she drinks so much without missing a meal, she herself is ready to be a big girl! Already in size 1 diapers and 3 month old clothes TIME again is waiting for no one.

Seeing all these changes week by week, month by month & year by year, I’m just overwhelmed with gladness. There is so much in store for my children and for me as a mother.

Hello Baby.

She’s here! My sweet baby girl is finally here. 

I can’t believe I finally made it to the finish line! Such an exciting moment. Pregnancy is no easy breeze towards the end but I made it. 

I am so grateful and thankful to God. I had a successful delivery! Our baby girl was born in the evening of June 8th 2018 💗 (Which makes her little over two weeks old from the date of this blog 🙂

MY EPIDURAL WORKED which made such a difference from my first pregnancy. I mean it, the biggest difference ever. Giving birth without all that pain is like a smooth ride with a lot of pressure HOWEVER I still dealt with consequences afterwards because my neck was struck out and strained for a good week! I believe I was pushing my girl out with every muscle in my entire neck. It was awful & I couldn’t even enjoy my kids for the first few days which was awful! Thankfully the pain did go away and It’s back to our regular scheduled program  TIMES TWO!!! 

Ahhh! I have two amazing beautiful children, is this real life?! A Boy & A Girl! What a dream come true. 

I’m so thankful to have Papa Bear & my mother by my side once again. Papa bear was holding my hand like a real champion and once he heard his daughter cry / we all starting crying. I think I was crying during my last push… by the way (pat on my shoulder) under 5 min of pushing, that was it! Definitely a record for me because Jaden was about 15 min. 

& Now we’re back in the comfort of our home. Back to square one while on square two : baby and newborn. Two meals (breastmilk & chicken nuggets) Two diaper changes (Newborn & Pull-ups) Two sleep patterns – the list just goes on. It is more work but it’s an amazing thing I’m doing and I just feel so blessed. 

I will certainly blog about New sister/ Big Brother chapters so stay tuned but just so you know Jaden LOVES his sister just like we do & I’m so happy for that because I was so nervous about how he’ll take a new baby in the house. 

All is well 

😉 

Our home is filled with more love ❤️ 

We Couldn’t be happier. 

Sticky Like Honey.

This is my last blog before the new baby arrives and I couldn’t help but share how my son Jaden has been more clingy to me than ever.

Like glue. Like gum on your shoe. Like honey on stick. Sticky is his latest middle name. I completely understand. Two years of being an only child! All the attention to yourself, & now that’s all changing. He follows me around usually but now it’s at his highest peak. Just how young children hold your leg while you walk, similar to that. He wants to be carried every second everywhere and I can hardly go down the stairs without him asking me for a “Hug” which means carry me mommy.  All the while anyone else like papa bear or his nana who asked him to do something it’s “NO”! it’s all about mommy.

It’s definitely bitter sweet for both of us but I know everything will be alright after all his new best friend is on the way. His constant new buddy, someone who can eventually chase him around and he chases back. Read with, watch cartoons with, go on walks with etc etc endless activities. I myself already know all the places I want to take them both after my much needed after birth rest.

Children are so amazing because even though he’s seen my belly grow from nothing to a big, big ball, his whole energy can feel the arrival. I thought it’s because of the baby bottles and toys here and there but it’s just the energy. I’m very big on energy as an adult I can only imagine how children feel energy themselves.

My hospital bag is packed and I’m definitely ready for this pregnancy to end by the grace of God, safe and healthy. I can’t wait to have a new bundle in my arms and I especially can’t wait to see my children’s amazing bond grow before my eyes.

All will be well. I claim it and I thank God for my growing family 🙂

Preparing for two while there’s one……🌸It’s a girl🌸

Two years into being a mommy to my best buddy in the world my son Jaden. Papa Bear & I are expecting once again. 

🌸IT’S A GIRL🌸 !!! 

Wow! I can’t even believe this is happening. So many emotions. Is this real? Can I handle two kids? I’m still learning with Jaden & now we’re throwing in another whole child… just wow. 

The journey has been tough but magical at the same time. The beginning was very rough. Finding out I was pregnant again happened with my big sister Geraldine via FaceTime. I told her “my period hasn’t shown up yet & I have a test upstairs but it’s old” … “Go and get it and go buy another one so we can double check” She said. “OK” (20/30 min later) CONFIRMED! I am indeed pregnant. My sister was so excited and I kept on saying “oh my gosh, what do I do. Should I tell papa bear now or later.” Eventually I told him with giggles which he didn’t find funny at all but me laughing was the only way I could cope and tell him. His own emotions were all over the place. Initially he wasn’t in the best mood because he said “are we ready again?” And all I could say was “I don’t know”! 

Needless to say the next few weeks were very intense and confusing for both of us. I don’t believe in abortions but it was also so early that the fetus is barely formed. I went to the doctor to know my options and again abortion was brought up but also time had gone by going from when I found out to “you’re six weeks in” after a lot of prayer and faith – WE DEFINITELY MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. We are having the baby because God makes no mistakes. 

(Fast forward) all is well, baby girl is growing, emotions are up and down. My first trimester was a hot mess just like with Jaden. Sick like a dog, a lot of crying – not being able to brush my teeth without gagging and just praying I make to the second trimester where I can finally be happy and eat my life away. FINALLY … I get there. 

Trimester two. Bring out the credit card. Baby shopping, ordering this and that. “Oh this is cute and this and this” such a difference shopping for boys and girls. I love all the shorts and polos for my son but seeing the mini swimwear and dresses after paying attention to them got me looking forward to finally meeting this baby girl. I never paid attention to anything girl ever but now my eyes are literally moving at a 50-50 pace because I’m thinking “what can I get for her and what can I get for Jaden” it’s actually fun but it’s also breaking our wallets more 😅 

Now, since I know there’s an new baby on the way, the biggest task is getting Jaden to understand what is going on. As my bump gets bigger I also try to tell him “baby baby” “kiss baby” “baby sister” some days he’ll kiss the belly and some days he’ll smack the belly. I don’t know if he gets it but he’s been more clingy than ever and he’s noticed little baby toys around the house all of sudden. He knows he’s too big for the toys because he’s advanced. They are still appealing for him but when he tries to throw the “crawling ball” and I say no no! He’s confused in why is mommy telling me to roll this ball and not throw it. Children are very smart. I just know his vibes feel that something is coming. 

As a mom to be of two my goal is to split myself in half! I don’t even know how I’ll deal with it and of course I’ll blog about this experience when baby girl arrives. I just want to be amazing to both of them but Jaden is my best friend, my go to, my play buddy – how am I suppose to do this with two kids. I’ve asked mother’s of two and they said they felt the same way but once the second arrives everything just fell into perfect place and everyone is happy so I pray it’s the same for me. I’ll be so devastated if my little guy feels a certain way about his baby sister or if he feels neglected. I already know when she’s born – he’s taking a full week off school to see her every second and I can spend time with them both. Luckily newborns don’t do much but feed & sleep but even then I need Jaden to see that she’s here to stay. I’ve seen him with other babies and he’s done great so I don’t doubt he’ll love his sister and they’ll be best buddies forever especially as she gets older. Jokingly I’m prepared for his slaps because when he sees her on my breasts which once belonged just to him, he might put up a fight 😂  besides the general talks of what’s on the way, I’ve also tried to get him to understand with pictures and stories. I ordered him a personalized big brother book which hopefully will help also. His name and face are in it and it describes all the responsibility a big brother has! I love online. You can find everything. He’s had personalized books in the past and he learned very fast from them. 

The final countdown has begun. Less than a month to go and my big boy toddler love of my life Jaden will no longer be a single child. He’s had a great time. He’s always going to be my best buddy and I believe this is such a great experience not just for him but for papa bear and I. Our family is expanding. We’ve been married for one year & I see the future being bright.

I thank God for everything & I pray I get continued strength to keep being a better mom to my children. It really takes a village to raise a child and I’m thankful for the advice and help I’ve got along the way but I’m very proud of myself because I went from knowing nothing to mothering two & seeing how well my son is growing and learning before my eyes, I’ve been doing something right. 

Cheers to the next chapter 🥂 

Toddler VS Toothbrush

Brushing teeth! Brushing little toddler teeth, who would have thought it’d be such a pain.

My son loves the brushing teeth song on tv, he even copies the movements with his little finger so why oh why can’t you do it for real? *Sigh* I’ve tried my best to make it a fun activity even to show him how I do it but he simply refuses. Brushing teeth has become a battle for me and the only way I manage it is if I force him by me holding his mouth open and quickly brushing up and down with squealing and crying 😢 “Nothing to cry about Jaden! You have to do it” while he looks at me with his sad puppy eyes.

The days he finally wants hold on to the toothbrush and asks for toothpaste, what does he do… swallows it up, sucks the brush around and puts the toothbrush right back down.

At this point, I’m about done with this game but of course I can’t  give up my little guy because I know eventually he’ll get it. In the mean time I have asked for advice from three people and here was their  solutions:

1.  It’s time to go back to the AFRICAN ROOTS! Cotton wool with toothpaste. Suggestion from papa bear. He said “That’s how it used to get done for us, and it worked”

2. Buy a mini battery operated toothbrush which he can hold and it’ll seem fun – this suggestion came from my son’s grandpa.

3. Sing a song. A suggestion from my cousin Angela whose toothbrush song for her boys is “The Ants go marching one by one” – she also expressed how it’s still a challenge for her but her lovely boys are getting it and I’m sure the song is a bonus because now they associate the tune with TOOTHBRUSHING.

I will try each of these methods and hopefully I can get my little toddler to finally cooperate. We really need this to work because his little breath is starting to stank especially after little naps and in the morning, sheesh! Lol he’s lucky I love him if not I’d never stand for it 😂😂😂

Luckily for me, no cavities in sight just yet. “COME ON JADEN, you can do it”

Have you got any methods of your own in your households moms and Dads? Please share.