Take back yourself Mama ❤️

This will be my last post having anything to do with our Bali trip and this is a post about me.

While in paradise for a short two weeks, I’ve never felt so good as a mommy. I really felt free and I was loving every bit of my curves and stomach and stretch marks like never before for myself! There’s something about vacations that make you feel more free than ever. Have you noticed that? Have you ever looked at anyone’s vacation pictures and see more of them than usual? It’s because of the freedom and relief to just be away. I love it!!

Remember in my previous blog I said I had a nanny and because of that it helped me “live my best mama life” I mean it. Going on vacation with kids is hardly a break because they will always be just as needy there just as home but I was enjoying myself.

Having two kids. I’m Twenty-nine, my body isn’t like it used to be when I was 18 (flat stomach, no ass, no breast, just lanky and tall) but NOW I have a full woman body. Hips and thighs, stretch marks and a tummy pouch which some days is bigger than others, I still have small breasts (I’ve accepted this fate lol) but yes my body is totally different. When you have children you need to find the balance to take care of them and take care of yourself. It’s not always easy especially when they are newborn but I’m dealing with a 1 1/2 year old and three year old. It’s amazing how much you can do & feel great about it. I feel like I can be super mom and still “slay” on! To feel like this as a mom takes time but I’ve reached that point where I know it’s just going to get better.

You keep yourself sexy and confident for yourself first & then for your husband! When you’re confident in your body, you’re even more attractive because they also see the glow shining within from the outside. I’m so lucky papa bear appreciates my body exactly how it is because I don’t have to hide behind something I am not. I just get to show my sexy on my terms and he enjoys and appreciates that. I pray none of you have to deal with an asshole, who shams you in any type of way as a mother, if they do F THEM 🖕🏼 You are beautiful! You gave life and you are EVERYTHING you are supposed to be.

When you get to the point where you’re ready to take back yourself! Do so without hesitation. We are all adults now. Who the heck is going to tell you anything?! Honestly. Don’t let these kids take over your life to the point where you can’t even feel good about yourself and don’t let them steal your mama shine! You are the maker and creator of them. “Give dem” (as we say in broken English) I know it takes a while to get to this place but YOU WILL AND CAN GET THERE and you’ll love it. Yes, some days or a lot of days you may just want to chill and that’s okay too because that’s life but anytime you want to show out… SHOW ALL THE WAY OUT HONEY 🍯

A never ending journey to a magical place. Bali, Indonesia.

For the first time, the children and I spent the Christmas/New Year season in a brand new place, Bali! Such an amazing place. The culture, the people, the enjoyment and food and touristy things… it was just one trip for the books that I will never forget. We did so much; monkey sanctuaries and snorkeling and temples & beaching… the list could go on.

Despite having a blast and literally living my best mommy life (how right?! With two toddlers there) One word NANNY! They practically cost nothing per hour I mean I was shocked at how little I had to pay for so many hours of childcare. I definitely got my money’s worth but before I get side tracked AGAIN despite having a blast, THE JOURNEY there and back was a nightmare.

First off and so sad, papa bear couldn’t make it because of passports issues! I was already two arms and two legs short of what I needed but I’m super mom and I always make it work which I did. Was it easy? Absolutely not! We were on three airplanes both coming and going and the trip took a total of 23 hours! Can you believe that! I mean who doesn’t want to enjoy paradise but 23 hours with toddlers… I realized I really must have needed that break.

Jaden and Jada did amazingly well with all that up and down flying but when that restlessness set in, let’s say I was looking for the extra help I needed from papa bear. I had to keep them busy and feed them and change them and make sure I ate and didn’t spill my wine which I did multiple times because how much space can I have with a toddler on my lap (she is about to turn two and those days are soon sadly over $$$$$) but yes, it was a lot ! From Atlanta to Canada to Hong Kong to Bali I mean can someone give me my damn motherhood of the year award already…. that’s motherhood though isn’t it! So much doing and little getting. I accept it because I do it all out of love.

Going on such a crazy long journey with the kids really made me evaluate how I do things for myself… Just as little as getting the stroller together, and making sure this bag is here and these toys are there and the drinks are here. It’s so exhausting!… But again I did it. Every single detail counts when it comes to traveling with children and sometimes you get annoyed with yourself, because you do end up taking stuff you didn’t even need anything to yourself why the heck didn’t I check that in!!! I’m just so happy that it worked out and I didn’t have a breakdown now this is just us getting to Paradise not to mention us leaving Paradise… I change the whole flight plan because I had to get my kids to west Africa and from Bali to buy his clothes and from Dubai west Africa is close so why would I take myself all the way back to the United States when I’m closer than ever. I’m  just so happy that it worked out and I didn’t have a mommy breakdown but then I did. That was just us getting to paradise not to mention us leaving paradise.

I change the whole flight plan because I had to get my kids to West Africa and from Bali to Dubai is relatively close  and from Dubai to West Africa is close so why would I take myself all the way back to the United States when I’m closer than ever right?! I got myself in so much shit lol 😆 I happen to find an amazingly cheap ticket to get us where we needed to go but the flight plan was horrific… Bali to China, to Hong Kong to Dubai. I literally flew up and down I mean what was I thinking, those were one of those I feel terrible moments because I should’ve put my kids through that even though we all survived it. Let’s just say next time no cutting corners!! I’m  paying the full price and taking the fastest route. Even though I was in China for such a short time they were giving me so many problems just to do a transit and that’s when I had my mommy break down. Immigration there was asking me for all sorts of things for no reason why does this passport have this name, why does this passport have this name, obviously I’n married mr. Immigration… Maiden name, married name! I was just so happy that they gave us our quick 24 hour transit and I could get out of there. It’s already hard enough that I was doing an Israelite journey &  I didn’t need any crap from any immigration officer’s.

When I think of everything as a whole I just think wow 😳  there can be a price to pay to make it to Paradise… But, I guess it’s all part of the journey but let me tell you something if I ever do any type of trip like that again there’s absolutely NO WAY I’m doing it alone without papa bear point blank period!!