The trip we absolutely needed 💚🤍💚

The children and I just came back from a quick trip to Lagos, Nigeria and it was everything it was meant to be.

Family means a lot to me and for months I’ve been planning to see my cousin and her daughters and other family members. . . Something had to give because every time we tried to plan, it was always something blocking it (ticket prices/ Covid test travel fees, school schedules) as I said, it was always something.

I decided to make a move. Yes, there was a few days missed of school, but we booked and left. Seeing my family was the most wonderful experience ever, it was such a bonding and reminiscing moment. I just found myself looking around the room and just seeing so many beautiful things. … It was so priceless.

I am very close to one of my cousin’s and I couldn’t wait for the moment that my children, finally met her children. She hadn’t even met my daughter yet! & the last time she saw my son, he was just a baby! Now look how big everyone is.

The theme was definitely hearts everywhere! That’s all it was, my heart was full, and it is very much full.

Sometimes we can get so caught up in our own lives, we forget about what’s important. Family is important. Keeping God first is important. These are special and matter to me. What I took from this trip is i don’t want to be away from my family long.

My children had a blast, papa bear even surprised us there, which I did not expect, like I said – it was just everything it needed to be.

Traveling is so expensive these days which is another blog post on it’s own soon to come lol but, there are certain trips that are priceless.

And here we are yet again.

I’m back on the road !!! I left early March and now we are in April. Sigh* I miss my kids so much I don’t even want to think about it. Thank God for FaceTime, I don’t know how I would cope otherwise. Do you remember my blog about being a traveling + working mommy, this time has come again.

First of all, NO MISSING OF THE BIRTHDAY’S MOM GUILT 😮‍💨 you know how that ate me alive last time for almost a year. Before leaving for work this time, I threw my son an amazing birthday party which he loved. He was happy, his sister was happy, I was happy! Wins all around.

Being a contractor has so many advantages, it’s really the freedom I have to control my life which is why I love it, but… it still really sucks to be away from my children. I’m so sad 😞 but, I’m trying to put it to the side to keep pushing. Due to Covid a lot of work was pushed back last year so this this year, it’s a zig zag of work, back to back! It’s NEVER been like this and I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. The days are going by but I’m still not sure if they are fast or not… I just can’t wait till I’m on my last contract in this last stretch of Q2, so I can be with my babies and continue to work on the other things I was doing.

I tell myself “hang in there.” I go this. I know I do but it’s also tough. Maybe it’s time for me to look for remote work so I can stay home more and take less contracts! I’m really going to look into this, sigh* I need to. I pray God shows me the way to go.

Anyways, my daughters birthday is coming up next and I WILL NOT MISS THAT EITHER! So I’m happy about that and I know the sweet little girl will be too. She keeps asking her nana “is mommy going to make my birthday.” Ugh! I won’t miss it for anything….

Wish me good luck y’all! I’m trying not to crack. I’m almost there and then I can take a nice long break.

I always wonder how my father did this, 🧐 but, I guess when it’s for your family, there’s bo choice but to go above and beyond.

The White Wall

My children have both learned to have a new found love of coloring and they both do it so well for their ages. They stay in the lines and play with colors, I love to see it.

When I was away for one my work assignments, because of my anxieties I decided to buy an adult coloring book (they are fun but lost importantly relaxing) they really do calm me down at times I feel away and alone from my family and it’s also an accomplishment seeing your fully finished work. I have the most intricate book.

Anyways, when I got back home, my children saw it and of course they wanted it all to themselves. First I was hesitant, because I just wanted the book for myself and my other assignments in the future but then I figured “nah” let them have it and enjoy the ocean patterns and animals, I can always get a new one later.

They really do love that book, as detailed as it is, they figured a way to color it in their own way without getting caught up in the small spaces. They’ll run to me when they have done one page each “mommy, look” I’m amazed. I love it & thinking to myself 💭 these children of mine are smart because I could spend hours on one section and look at them! Done in twenty minutes lol

Their masterpiece.
Mr. Puffin

The White Wall. . . What exactly am I talking about – well, we all have a white painted wall somewhere in the house/apt right! Did you ever think of how children look at a white wall? It’s a big piece of white paper! & what do children do on paper, they draw and color on it.

My daughter has marked her territory on these walls. I have cleaned it up time and time again, but her mind goes back to the drawing board. I tell her “please don’t write or draw on anything,” she’ll agree until I see the next mark where it’s big suppose to be 😩 my son doesn’t get a pass either! I’ve seen his work too.

I’ve decided to leave this matter alone not because I’m giving in but because of the creative perspective! My only rule is that ONLY in their room. What if he/she is going to be the next biggest painter, or a architect the world has ever seen.

Now c’mon I’m not silly… I will NOT tell them, only in their room is where they can get creative (never, lol that’s a set up) but, it means for me, I won’t get as upset as I used to because I’m looking at it all in a different perspective. . .

Am I wrong?

What are your thoughts about this, do you let your own children be creatively free or is there a limit?

After all, walls can always be painted again. I’m not bothered right now and I’ve cleaned up worse mess than you can imagine.

I’m not say it a free for all draw on the walls either, but I need to save my voice box parents, it’s already raspy enough 😅

The social media break! (The most necessary)

At the moment I am currently on a social media break and let me tell you, I never knew how much I needed this!

We don’t realize how consumed we get by online and the bs it comes with. At times, we see the good & at times without a choice we see the bad but both are still embedded reads in our subconscious.

I know how many hours I can shamelessly be on an app scrolling none stop. One day, I woke up and simply had ENOUGH! I deleted them all. The break I needed.

I have been happily in my own motherhood/wife life/self love and getting closer to God world for almost two weeks.

I have more time to pay attention and stay focused on many things. It’s amazing how much focus you can put towards something when you are simply not distracted.

Remember that book of mine that was suppose to be released last year “Dear mommy, these are for you.” Well, I FINALLY made time to correct and finish it (Amazon approved finished) I took the time to make sure it was right, whereas before I would see one “error” close the tab and never looked back till I felt like it, just wow! (Clap for me)

Social media is dangerous, dangerous in the fact that it can drive us away from so much. Scrolling so much, you forget to eat or (I’m the queen of this lol) take pictures and boomerang’s of our meals before we eat them.

Even time with my children. I am Mrs. Do the most with my kids especially when we travel but sometimes at home, I can be in myself not engaging fully to what my children are doing because… (I’m sure you know the answer,) MY PHONE. I’ve had time. Whether their stories are gibberish or not lol, whether it’s their interactive play, or anything they want to do, I just have time for it.

Books! I will be the first to admit, I’m not the fastest reader in the world, but I do enjoy a good book. Since this social media break, I’ve read four books! I mean… me! Before, never. I’m on the quest to find out what kind of book reader I am. Fiction/non-fiction and it’s just a fun bit of discovery for me.

Without me going on and on about this, the bottom line is, FOR EVERYONE… take the social media breaks. Delete the apps! They are not going anywhere and for ourselves, it is necessary for our mind/soul/conscious!

I am not saying I won’t go back, I absolutely will and continue to be myself on there as I always do, but I have now trained my mind to not be addicted to things that have nothing to do with me online (blogs/stories/images) I’ve just tuned it all off and I pray for myself that I can really keep this up. (I will try, but it’s not easy)

If I can pull these breaks off monthly or every two months, I think I can find a better balance than be a “phone zombie.”

Try it for yourself, even if for two days. You’ll love it for yourself and your family or with whatever it is that you need to focus on.

I take it seriously because above everything else, I always put God first. I say it all the time, but sometimes, I might not put it into practice. This social break has got me closer to God once again and I am in love with myself for that because God can do many amazing things and most importantly bring blessings and much needed peace and rest. These are the things I seek in life (not religiously) spiritually.

Remember, online is truly a blur of “fake.” I’m not saying people don’t post their real lives & these stories whether positive or negative are not true, but most of it doesn’t help us. Sadly, many people strive to be what they see and hear online whether they want to believe it or not. Let us try and be aware of these things so online and offline can be a safer place for us.

Troublesome Four… 😒

Towards the end of last year and the beginning of this year, I have noticed a huge shift with both of my children. They are both maturing, their mouths are moving more than ever. Their learning is improving, it’s a wonderful thing to see.

What I’ve noticed the most is their attitudes. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but they both seem to be more moody and more opinionated than ever before. I feel like this is a very vital time in parenthood. I really don’t like whiners, and my son always seems to whine rather than just ask for something directly. As this is his behavior, it trickles down to his younger sister and then she also starts whining for things. I just can’t stand it!

My disciplined radar is higher than ever, and I’m not trying to be the grinch in the house, but if I don’t take it away from them now it’s just going to get worse.

My daughter is so demanding and in my head I’m thinking, what exactly do you know about “this and that.” It can be from a simple task to picking up toys or to picking out her clothes. I’m happy to have her pick out what she wants to wear, but sometimes clothing that she chooses is not appropriate because I know it’s for a certain event or I know it will get dirty, so when I say she cannot wear it, rather than her just saying ”Ok mommy” and moving on to choosing the next thing, she decides she wants to have a huge toddler tantrum about it. That’s where I draw the line. I always have to remind her that “I am the mother” and she has to listen to me and she can’t always get her way.

Things never used to be like this, and it’s making me think if all parents go through this phase 🤔 I don’t remember hearing about it.… PLEASE, SHARE YOUR STORIES WITH ME!!!!

At this stage of my children’s ages, they listen and hear every single thing anybody says. It’s so important for me to say the right things and do the right things while also teaching them valuable lessons.

The truth is, I am kind of struggling. This is a new change I was NOT prepared for just yet, but I will certainly figure it out.

“It takes a village” is making more sense to me as my children get older and as I observe them.

Stay tuned.

Happy New Year !!!!

Happy New Year readers!

we made it to 2022, how great is God that we did. 2021 was A LOT! A very up and down year for me and especially at the end because I caught Covid 🙄 The most annoying thing ever, I hope I don’t go through that ever again, but it seems like this damn thing is in the air… So we just have to be careful. I actually have a blog about when I caught it, but that was created around December time. I’m not sure if I want to post it but if I do just know this was something I wrote last year.

Anyways, 2022. May it bring blessings for us all, and may we hear great news all year long! I felt like January was the longest month ever and now we are finally in February. I already have a lot on my plate as a mommy and as a and I am trying to really see what this year brings for me but whatever I have to do I will get through it.

I just want to remind everyone, don’t forget to write down things that you want to do for the year. It’s something that I do. I’m a very visual person, when I write something down it’s easier for me to see it in a list and it’s easier for me to get through it no matter how long it takes, that’s my trick.

I will try my very best to blog as much as possibly can. I feel like I have a lot to say about motherhood because there’s been such a shift with my children as they get older once again, and I definitely want to explore those topics with you so I look forward to the coming months and I’ll be sure to keep you posted and I think I mentioned it last year, but this year I promise, I will drop my mother affirmation book so please stay tune for that.

xox

The happiest place on earth & the most expensive! The real cost of Disney (post COVID)

Three years later, my family and I finally made it back to Disney world! Disney is always a vibe, it always brings out happiness (which I think was Mr.Walt’s goal) it’s fun and memorable. My husband and I promised our kids this trip because we were over due for a family holiday but once again (sad mommy) I wasn’t present to another significant event, so I told my kids when I return, we’ll go to Orlando and that’s exactly what we did!

I didn’t know what to expect post-COVID affairs but we went with the flow. 7 days (three Disney parks, one water park, universal studios and islands of adventures) we weren’t playing any games and we still didn’t finish lol

I’ll start off by saying accommodations were sorted thanks to my father who has time share (brilliant investment) I know he was pleased that we were finally using it after many years & with his grandkids, cool !!! So for that, thank you daddy.

Our place was amazing, the room was huge and there was even a water park in the location (so technically we did two water parks) just like Airbnb you go grocery shopping and cook anything you please. They had an on-site grocery store, but I went to Walmart because it was cheaper and they also had a restaurant but also expensive to be eating there every single day.

Talking about the amusement parks itself, like I said in the beginning such a vibe! However, the cost of Disney is absolutely ridiculous. It always has been, and nothing has changed. It’s overpriced and if you’re smart you’ll go to the park with your own packed goods. I tried it once but in the end I still ended up spending a fortune because your children want this and that and you have a taste for something and something always just comes up every single time! You’re paying about $3.50 for a bottle of water and mind you the water is terrible but you have no choice because that’s all they have. I mean I can get a 20 pack at Walmart for $3.50 so let’s just put this into perspective. The turkey leg runs about $15 the popcorn is another $10 if not more, in the end I decided to buy the refill packaging and even at that I had to pay two dollars every refill… my daughter loves popcorn so that two dollars added up really quick. The park tickets were over $100 each time and as you saw I mentioned we went to a lot of different places so you can already imagine how much we spent for three of us. yes, I should’ve paid for four of us but I wasn’t going to do it***

*** Dear parents, if your child can still pass for two, let them stay two as long as you can. Disney is free for them!

I find it absolutely ridiculous that they would charge a three-year-old when a three-year-old can hardly ride all the rides. It’s daylight robbery so be warned, I’ve given you the “tea” just stay smart.

Surprisingly the lines were extremely fast. I really thought we would have to wait hours to ride different things but it was quick! Magic Kingdom was the fastest, universal was the worst and animal kingdom with decent. Epcot is a lot of walking so I don’t really count that as an amusement park, it’s more of like a food village with entertainment.

They say if you’re fully vaccinated you don’t have to wear a mask and if you’re not fully vaccinated you have to wear a mask, but they’ve already failed because they’re not checking any type of proof so pretty much everyone in the park is not wearing a mask. This is completely up to you and how comfortable you feel around that many people.

The worst part about going to Disney post COVID it is the fact that you can’t do meet and greets with characters anymore! That really made me sad and I was just so lucky that when we were in animal kingdom Minnie, Mickey and goofy were on a boat waving to all the children and I was so happy because my children kept on asking me “when are we going to see Minnie and Mickey” and I didn’t know what to say until I saw them in the river and they were adorable! They saw the kids and waved to them and my children’s faces lit up that was definitely one of the highlights for me.

A few other things that have changed which they fail to mention is that you have to make reservations for all of the parks. Don’t be fooled though because on the phone they told me Magic Kingdom was unavailable but when I went in for my booking it was available, so just do it on your own.

All in all, of course I had the best time at Disney and I enjoy making memories with my family. There’s nothing I love more than making memories however, Disney world really comes at a cost! There’s nothing cheap about Disney and just know if you’re a family of three or more and you’re staying for over a week but even up to four days you’re going to spend over $1000 guaranteed. I had to keep on telling myself LOL the same money go to nonsense outside of this place, which is actually true but I don’t think I’ll be coming to Disney for the next three years maybe two… Well who knows but I think that having my children older and taller always helps because one thing I forgot to mention at the time was it was a bunch of rides my daughter couldn’t do because she couldn’t make the height requirement and she was so upset on the other hand, my five-year-old was a great guy and a great age and he could do loads of things. It was only a roller coaster or two that he was too small for other than that in every single park he was eligible which is fantastic so that also gives you a good example of when to go I could’ve waited five and seven but that would’ve been a little bit too long for me.

If you have any questions, send them in the comments I’ll be happy to answer them.

Rant alert* Wild is an understatement.

This morning as I’m doing my mommy morning duties, waking the kids up, trying to clean the kitchen and make them fresh juice 🥤 don’t worry it’s not as glamorous as it seems! both of them are fighting a cold and cough 😷 while I myself am trying to protect myself! It’s been a very busy morning.

My kids and I have been in the house for a whole week straight! I’m restless, they are restless but I refuse to let them go anywhere until they are better, I don’t want to be “that inpatient mother” who got other children sick! So we’re staying put.

As I watch their restlessness day by day, children need to be free. The house is clean and then in an hour it’s not! They always have to move and do something, even when I make them do their school work, it’s still NOT enough. This restlessness has cause them to go above and beyond and frankly, I can’t take it but… I have no choice. I just hope these symptoms subside soon so we can get back to our regular scheduled (non sneezing and coughing) program.

I’m sure you’re wondering what those two blank pages are. Going back to 10 min ago, with me cleaning up. I went to open my dishwasher and I saw these two pages. When I tell you this is the wildest thing I have ever seen in motherhood tool date! They were pictures. Two lovely pictures which I had in the living room! I HAVE NO CLUE HOW AND WHY THEY ENDED UP IN MY DISHWASHER CYCLE BUT THE COLORFUL SMILES OF THOSE PICTURES GOT WASHED AWAY ALONG WITH DIRTY PLATES! I’m in disbelief! Wild! I have a feeling a know exactly which child of mine is responsible but what can I do.

Restlessness is a very bad thing for both adults and children my dear readers. It leaves the mind to do questionable things lol

rant over.

Tune in soon for our Disney Trip details (Post COVID)

In less than 24 hrs

The family is back in America! The kids are back from Ghana after one year. There were so many tears leaving to the airport from their Nanny and I’m sure their Nana. I say I’m sure because I didn’t see her cry but I just know she did. She’s been with her grandkids for a whole year. Her home went from a loud/loving cheerful kid zone to a quiet zone. No kids in sight… I told her not to be sad because it’s only temporary & she has so much going on it, time will fly and she’ll see her babies again.

As for me….

It’s time for me to mommy again! Between the flying with the kids (which they did great by the way… no crying, a little restlessness but only at the very end) I also flew with Papa bear so that made things a little bit easier… Immigration said nothing at all which was surprising because they have been away so long… They both had a look of excitement but also a tiny bit of sadness. They’ve been in Ghana and around certain people for months and now they’re back to a different environment with certain memories they may or may not remember.

We’ve moved yet again so they hadn’t even seen anything around us & surprisingly, my son kept on talking about our previous place and I kept on telling him that we don’t live there anymore. My daughter doesn’t understand the concept of destination yet but I know she absolutely misses her Nana.

Seeing my kids in our new place so surreal. Now our place is the loud & happy zone. There are toys everywhere, I’m cleaning up after them and doing all the things that a mother should do. It’s natural instinct for me so I know exactly what I’m doing but I’m also thinking to myself, wow this is so much work and I can’t believe I used to do this before on my own.

The biggest difference is the fact that now my children are older which means, I have to deal with two different characters, two different emotions and two different needs at the same time. It can be very demanding and they don’t understand that I need them to patient with me and each other. I’m convinced that I hear my name “mom” 100 times a day if not more.

I’m so happy to have my children back in our home but I would by lying if I said it’s been a “walk in the park.” I just have to keep remembering why I took a back step, to be with my children! To make the lasting memories in their heads which my father/their grandfather told me. It’s about what they remember while they are growing up and they won’t forget you being and doing many things for them. This actually make perfect sense because memories last but time does not.

Our routine starts once again and I’ll keep you updated along the way.

Distance makes the heart.

Mommy is finally back!

I missed my babies so much! Their love and affection, their smiles and laughs, their bond, I just missed everything about them. 

I got in two days ago early in the morning, the moment I stepped in the door first thing I heard was my son crying and saying my name. It was so emotional, he was so overcome with joy he couldn’t believe that I had finally made it home and not just me, Papa bear too. This was the absolute best feeling in the whole wide world I can hardly explain it. There’s something between a bond with parents and their children that is so amazing and so beautiful. I’ve been away for almost a month again, maybe a bit less but all I know is I am so happy to be around the two loves of my life!

I mentioned before, I don’t want to miss any moments of anything and I’ve already made so many more memories with them in such a short period of time. They’ve grown so much, they are talking better, they are writing and they are so intelligent. I can’t believe my eyes and ears. I will absolutely not miss any moments so long as I don’t have to.

I already made the decision that I’m going to cut back on work because it’s almost unbearable, these days, I need to be with my children. These are the moments that they will remember and these are the times where I need to be around for them no matter what.

I pray God continues to provide for my family and continues to protect us as we grow and I know everything will work out for the better. 

My children are my life and although I also have a life outside of my children there’s nothing like their unconditional love. We are growing together and we are learning together and I’m just so excited to be in their presence once again. How I’ve missed these two voices.

The bond is so strong & for the past three days even the slightest separation, needing to go do something, they are both afraid that I’m going and I won’t come back again… it makes me feel some kind of way but I tell them “mommy isn’t going anywhere, not this time and when mommy does go somewhere, you’re coming with me.” then their face is light right back up. 

Life is so precious, and the most important thing is making memories and that’s what I plan to do. I’ve always been a hands-on mom, I do a lot of things with the children. I feel like I’m stepping into a new zone with them I look forward to everything that is to come.

Cheers to motherhood 🥂

A special message from my son via talk to text 

“Thank you airplans for bringing Mommy back I love mommy Barry so much, I love you in the whole wide wide mommy. When I when she gives me something I like when she give me snacks and food I will eat it but the things I don’t want to eat I want mommy to give me nice food. I love mommy so much.”

Uncomfortable encounter.

As a black woman with a black husband and son, I am no stranger to what could possibly go on if we get stopped by the police. I know everyone has their own different opinions but I go by what I see not by what I hear.

Not too long ago in Ghana I got pulled over for no reason, I provided my drivers license and those idiots said “you don’t have an international permit.” So long story short, they took my license away. I wasn’t too bothered because it was about to expire and in one week I knew I could get a brand new one in the United States.

The only reason I hated the encounter was because in the midst of me having a missing document the police officer said “I have to arrest you.” I said “I’m not going anywhere and don’t you EVER speak to me like that in front of my children.” Once I said this, the officers eyes go big, he stretched his neck and saw both my children in the back and because of what he said, my son started crying. I was so pissed off!!!! Eventually they let me go and I left.

I couldn’t help but think about this encounter and how different it would have been if my children and I were in America.

Moving forward, I am back in the USA and just four days ago, I was driving my car. Nothing wrong, no speeding – nothing wrong at all but when I looked in my rear view mirror, who was behind me. The police. They were just there. We were both waiting for the light to change but the most eerie feeling came over my body. I was so nervous, my anxiety kicked in and my heart started pounding, literally pounding – I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and then I said out loud to myself “This is so sad, so so so sad.” The light turned green and we both went our own way.

I honestly couldn’t believe how scared I was seeing the police behind me and I did nothing. Isn’t that just the most awful thing. The police who we are suppose to make me feel protected rather put me in shock. I was genuinely sad for myself and I am a strong black woman. I can only imagine what others go through.

the point of me sharing is because there is a lot going on in our society, matter of fact, their always is but the bottom line is, people should be able to go through life with ease! & not this stress, I feel for many that are seen as minorities, we definitely have to move differently unfortunately weather we like it or not.

6 months later… (Post Covid – but not really)

I can’t believe we have gotten to a point, were wearing a mask seems normal.

I never thought I would get used to this, I don’t know if I like it. I don’t know if I have fully adjusted just yet. The thing is, life has to go on and there’s nothing we can do about that… But be extremely cautious and careful.

I have been living my life in Ghana, West Africa for six months. This is the longest I have ever been there. It was a blessing to be in a place like that during a time like this in the world because even though the virus did affect the area, they handled it well. They took care of the people and I never felt I wasn’t safe once.

My children have been happy, I have been happy and I even got the chance to go out a few times!! Can you believe that, in a time like this I was out with people and smiling, dancing and even having a few drinks, I miss doing things like that. It seems like once the fear is gone of something you can’t even see you just learn to adapt in some sort of way.

Now; I am finally back in the United States! The borders in Ghana were closed for such a long time and I lived that life. Suddenly, things were open again. Part of me never wanted to leave and face the reality of what I have to do but just like I said, I MUST.

A lot of people have been unemployed for months and one morning I woke up and I got a message from my recruiter and work was suddenly in my front… What a blessing. I don’t take it for granted but I also thought to myself, wow! Now I have to go back to work and do my contract mommy work stuff as I said in one of my posts before.

It’s a bittersweet feeling because I know I do this work for my beautiful children and for my family and even for myself but the bitter part was I decided to leave my children in Ghana because it was the right thing to do.

Why would I pull them away from that comfort and the sun and picking fruit off their Nana‘s tree, I wasn’t ready to do that to them and I wasn’t even ready for Papa bear to take on all that responsibility so soon even though we both miss them dearly.

The time will pass and all of our hard work is not in vain. This year has gone by so fast I can hardly remember each month but all I know is that soon, I will be back with my beautiful children and eventually we will all come back to the United States as a unit but until then I have to get my hustle on and I have to do things which I know I can do to make them comfortable when they do return.

It’s absolutely crazy that this virus is still living with us !!! where is this vaccine which I don’t even believe in? Will it ever come… Or is it just the media making us afraid for something that is to come more serious? Who knows. All I know is good things come on the other side of fear… So don’t be afraid and still achieve all the goals you need to achieve. We still have a few months left till 2021.

2020 has been very unpredictable and rocky year but don’t let that overcome you because 2020 has not defeated you or me or anyone and we can do this.