In less than 24 hrs

The family is back in America! The kids are back from Ghana after one year. There were so many tears leaving to the airport from their Nanny and I’m sure their Nana. I say I’m sure because I didn’t see her cry but I just know she did. She’s been with her grandkids for a whole year. Her home went from a loud/loving cheerful kid zone to a quiet zone. No kids in sight… I told her not to be sad because it’s only temporary & she has so much going on it, time will fly and she’ll see her babies again.

As for me….

It’s time for me to mommy again! Between the flying with the kids (which they did great by the way… no crying, a little restlessness but only at the very end) I also flew with Papa bear so that made things a little bit easier… Immigration said nothing at all which was surprising because they have been away so long… They both had a look of excitement but also a tiny bit of sadness. They’ve been in Ghana and around certain people for months and now they’re back to a different environment with certain memories they may or may not remember.

We’ve moved yet again so they hadn’t even seen anything around us & surprisingly, my son kept on talking about our previous place and I kept on telling him that we don’t live there anymore. My daughter doesn’t understand the concept of destination yet but I know she absolutely misses her Nana.

Seeing my kids in our new place so surreal. Now our place is the loud & happy zone. There are toys everywhere, I’m cleaning up after them and doing all the things that a mother should do. It’s natural instinct for me so I know exactly what I’m doing but I’m also thinking to myself, wow this is so much work and I can’t believe I used to do this before on my own.

The biggest difference is the fact that now my children are older which means, I have to deal with two different characters, two different emotions and two different needs at the same time. It can be very demanding and they don’t understand that I need them to patient with me and each other. I’m convinced that I hear my name “mom” 100 times a day if not more.

I’m so happy to have my children back in our home but I would by lying if I said it’s been a “walk in the park.” I just have to keep remembering why I took a back step, to be with my children! To make the lasting memories in their heads which my father/their grandfather told me. It’s about what they remember while they are growing up and they won’t forget you being and doing many things for them. This actually make perfect sense because memories last but time does not.

Our routine starts once again and I’ll keep you updated along the way.

Distance makes the heart.

Mommy is finally back!

I missed my babies so much! Their love and affection, their smiles and laughs, their bond, I just missed everything about them. 

I got in two days ago early in the morning, the moment I stepped in the door first thing I heard was my son crying and saying my name. It was so emotional, he was so overcome with joy he couldn’t believe that I had finally made it home and not just me, Papa bear too. This was the absolute best feeling in the whole wide world I can hardly explain it. There’s something between a bond with parents and their children that is so amazing and so beautiful. I’ve been away for almost a month again, maybe a bit less but all I know is I am so happy to be around the two loves of my life!

I mentioned before, I don’t want to miss any moments of anything and I’ve already made so many more memories with them in such a short period of time. They’ve grown so much, they are talking better, they are writing and they are so intelligent. I can’t believe my eyes and ears. I will absolutely not miss any moments so long as I don’t have to.

I already made the decision that I’m going to cut back on work because it’s almost unbearable, these days, I need to be with my children. These are the moments that they will remember and these are the times where I need to be around for them no matter what.

I pray God continues to provide for my family and continues to protect us as we grow and I know everything will work out for the better. 

My children are my life and although I also have a life outside of my children there’s nothing like their unconditional love. We are growing together and we are learning together and I’m just so excited to be in their presence once again. How I’ve missed these two voices.

The bond is so strong & for the past three days even the slightest separation, needing to go do something, they are both afraid that I’m going and I won’t come back again… it makes me feel some kind of way but I tell them “mommy isn’t going anywhere, not this time and when mommy does go somewhere, you’re coming with me.” then their face is light right back up. 

Life is so precious, and the most important thing is making memories and that’s what I plan to do. I’ve always been a hands-on mom, I do a lot of things with the children. I feel like I’m stepping into a new zone with them I look forward to everything that is to come.

Cheers to motherhood 🥂

A special message from my son via talk to text 

“Thank you airplans for bringing Mommy back I love mommy Barry so much, I love you in the whole wide wide mommy. When I when she gives me something I like when she give me snacks and food I will eat it but the things I don’t want to eat I want mommy to give me nice food. I love mommy so much.”

Uncomfortable encounter.

As a black woman with a black husband and son, I am no stranger to what could possibly go on if we get stopped by the police. I know everyone has their own different opinions but I go by what I see not by what I hear.

Not too long ago in Ghana I got pulled over for no reason, I provided my drivers license and those idiots said “you don’t have an international permit.” So long story short, they took my license away. I wasn’t too bothered because it was about to expire and in one week I knew I could get a brand new one in the United States.

The only reason I hated the encounter was because in the midst of me having a missing document the police officer said “I have to arrest you.” I said “I’m not going anywhere and don’t you EVER speak to me like that in front of my children.” Once I said this, the officers eyes go big, he stretched his neck and saw both my children in the back and because of what he said, my son started crying. I was so pissed off!!!! Eventually they let me go and I left.

I couldn’t help but think about this encounter and how different it would have been if my children and I were in America.

Moving forward, I am back in the USA and just four days ago, I was driving my car. Nothing wrong, no speeding – nothing wrong at all but when I looked in my rear view mirror, who was behind me. The police. They were just there. We were both waiting for the light to change but the most eerie feeling came over my body. I was so nervous, my anxiety kicked in and my heart started pounding, literally pounding – I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and then I said out loud to myself “This is so sad, so so so sad.” The light turned green and we both went our own way.

I honestly couldn’t believe how scared I was seeing the police behind me and I did nothing. Isn’t that just the most awful thing. The police who we are suppose to make me feel protected rather put me in shock. I was genuinely sad for myself and I am a strong black woman. I can only imagine what others go through.

the point of me sharing is because there is a lot going on in our society, matter of fact, their always is but the bottom line is, people should be able to go through life with ease! & not this stress, I feel for many that are seen as minorities, we definitely have to move differently unfortunately weather we like it or not.

6 months later… (Post Covid – but not really)

I can’t believe we have gotten to a point, were wearing a mask seems normal.

I never thought I would get used to this, I don’t know if I like it. I don’t know if I have fully adjusted just yet. The thing is, life has to go on and there’s nothing we can do about that… But be extremely cautious and careful.

I have been living my life in Ghana, West Africa for six months. This is the longest I have ever been there. It was a blessing to be in a place like that during a time like this in the world because even though the virus did affect the area, they handled it well. They took care of the people and I never felt I wasn’t safe once.

My children have been happy, I have been happy and I even got the chance to go out a few times!! Can you believe that, in a time like this I was out with people and smiling, dancing and even having a few drinks, I miss doing things like that. It seems like once the fear is gone of something you can’t even see you just learn to adapt in some sort of way.

Now; I am finally back in the United States! The borders in Ghana were closed for such a long time and I lived that life. Suddenly, things were open again. Part of me never wanted to leave and face the reality of what I have to do but just like I said, I MUST.

A lot of people have been unemployed for months and one morning I woke up and I got a message from my recruiter and work was suddenly in my front… What a blessing. I don’t take it for granted but I also thought to myself, wow! Now I have to go back to work and do my contract mommy work stuff as I said in one of my posts before.

It’s a bittersweet feeling because I know I do this work for my beautiful children and for my family and even for myself but the bitter part was I decided to leave my children in Ghana because it was the right thing to do.

Why would I pull them away from that comfort and the sun and picking fruit off their Nana‘s tree, I wasn’t ready to do that to them and I wasn’t even ready for Papa bear to take on all that responsibility so soon even though we both miss them dearly.

The time will pass and all of our hard work is not in vain. This year has gone by so fast I can hardly remember each month but all I know is that soon, I will be back with my beautiful children and eventually we will all come back to the United States as a unit but until then I have to get my hustle on and I have to do things which I know I can do to make them comfortable when they do return.

It’s absolutely crazy that this virus is still living with us !!! where is this vaccine which I don’t even believe in? Will it ever come… Or is it just the media making us afraid for something that is to come more serious? Who knows. All I know is good things come on the other side of fear… So don’t be afraid and still achieve all the goals you need to achieve. We still have a few months left till 2021.

2020 has been very unpredictable and rocky year but don’t let that overcome you because 2020 has not defeated you or me or anyone and we can do this.

A Studio Dream 🎶

A lot of you may not know this but when I’m not mommy-ing and wife-ing and doing my entrepreneur work! I am an artist (singer) named Coco Benson. Music has been in my family before I was born and it definitely trickled down to me. To make a long story short, I most definitely was on a journey of a music career but it came to a stop! & then I stopped! Fast forward 4 years till now! I decided to start doing music again which I am so happy about and the new journey of it will be bigger and better than ever so stay tuned for that!

Here is where my blog title starts. The other day, I had a studio session and it was the most amazing session because my son Jaden was involved! I’ve always dreamed of taking him to the studio! I’ve always dreamed of us being on some track together one day and it finally happened!

Such a beautiful moment it literally brought tears to my eyes and continues to do so every time I listen to it! First of all it’s emotional because it’s actually a praise song to God! I did it my way, exactly how I pictured it. Authentic and loving. Then my son is on it, which sounds adorable and I even tried something new on it which is rap! (I do not rap, unless I’m rapping with Nicki Minaj or Snoop Dogg) but I gave it a go and it worked out great!

Everything about this session was just amazing… I had about a week to perfect how I wanted to sing everything, I had a week to tell my son and prepare how I wanted him to do it and he did it! Seeing his little mouth by the mic 🎤  was so moving, and he did great because he’s  only four so his attention span was eventually disappearing after telling him to do different takes but he pulled it off and I thank  the producer so much for his patients and how he arranged everything.

I’m still waiting for the final product but I know it will sound great. The way this song is set up, it will definitely be an introductory song to all the other music I do… In the music world we call it an intro.

I think the whole experience is overwhelmingly beautiful because again not only did I get to record with my son, but I would never think after so many years I would get back in a studio room and just feel more free than ever… Music is always been a passion of mine, and I’m so happy that It came back into my life.

I look forward to sharing my music with the world again because I’ve been saying “I’m breaking necks this year” LOL

PS.if you are interested in following my journey you can follow me on

Instagram: @cocobenson_

Facebook : TheCocoBenson

YouTube or Apple Music, Spotify : Coco Benson

Four Years Of Motherhood 🎈

My big boy Jaden is about to be FOUR years old this Saturday!!! I’m literally going to be raising a four year old boy! Wow. Four years of motherhood! Four years of amazing memories. Four years of amazing growth, such a beautiful experience. Being a mommy to Jaden is the best thing on this earth! I wouldn’t change it for anything.

As I get older I realize this was always my path because I love being a mommy but as time goes by, I’ve found balance and I can accomplish everything I want to while still being a mommy. Of course there are sacrifices at times but it’s short lived! What’s important is that my kids know I love them unconditionally and that I’ll go above and beyond for them. Everything that I thought I couldn’t accomplish before or fell a part, are now coming together and it’s all God’s timing because maybe before I wasn’t ready or maybe I needed a different kind of motivation which I get from my children.

Life is what you make it and you have to enjoy the moments you can, create new memories daily and learn to be better each day.

I am so proud of my boy! Four years old! Smart, talkative, learning how to read (I just found out yesterday while we are doing night time stories) He’s asking questions, he tells me stories and sings songs and his brain is so creative! The list goes on and on. I am so blessed to be his mother! He’s a great big brother, who takes care of his sister and teaches her (good and sometimes naughty things lol) but their bond is unbreakable. I’m loving the little big boy he’s becoming and I know he’ll continue to do amazing things with God on his side and US.

Cheers to Papa bear and myself!

The contract mommy

As of last year, I decided to take the jump and go back to work. It’s not your regular 9-5 … it’s quite intensive, the hours are long but the great news is that it’s contracted.

I love contract work because it gives me the ability to be very flexible as a mother. I can have time for my own business, I can have time for my husband, I can have time for my children, and do everything that I want to do if I’m not currently doing that work.

It was a big step for me, but very necessary… Because there’s so many things that go on in the family, and there are so many things to take care of, and so many goals to reach and it’s cool to rely on one income but it’s not too bad to rely on two incomes especially when you’re bringing in some correct money.

Last year when I was away on work, I luckily had my amazing sister to help me with Papa bear watching the children it worked out. We all survived. This time, same situation but the distance is longer… Remember I said in an earlier blog I took my children to west Africa? Well as of right now they are there, and I am in the in the states! Can you imagine 😭 That is a lot of water between us, literally oceans between us. I think I can survive this because I know they are with my mother, they are in great hands & I will see them very soon.

It’s quite a tough thing to leave your children behind but sometimes in this life, you have to make sacrifices. This time I didn’t have my sister around and for Papa bear to watch our children alone although I know he could do it for two weeks nonstop, it would STOP absolutely everything he had to do for himself and our family. Would that be fair of me to ask him to sit still? Hmm 🤔 we have the same goals to reach and parenting is a two work man job but sometimes you really have to make sacrifices to better the whole family. I know the kids will be alright.

I spoke to my son not too long ago today, and yes he did cry “mommy, I miss you. Come back home” it totally broke my heart but I had to put on my big girl pants and realize I’m starting work again tomorrow and I’m going to be busy and focused and I’ll be back in your cute/sweet lovely arms in no time.

Motherhood is such a big deal. As a mom, you have to make all these decisions and all these decisions have consequences. I know there are some women and men that will judge me for going to work with two children, especially small children but then I think to myself “you’re not paying any of my bills” and all of those opinions are irrelevant. I know the lifestyle I’m trying to live, I know exactly what I want to give my children. You can’t always just expect everything to be handed to you especially from Papa bear. As a woman there’s nothing wrong with getting your hands a little dirty and the benefits will be glorious in the long run. I know exactly why I’m doing this and I know the rewards that can come from this and I know I’ll see my children very soon.

The house is so quiet right now though. I told papa bear “Is this what it’s like when your kids go to college?.” Just the two of us. Quiet. No mess anywhere. No noise. Just us. This is happening right now, so imagine when I children are really young adults of their own and everything we ever wanted is set and our goals are met. Pretty amazing.

I know there will be some days at work when I get to the hotel,  I’ll feel sad and I might cry because I do miss my children but every day that I wake up, it’s just another day that the contract is further down the line and another day that I’ve gotten paid.

I’m very grateful that I had the opportunity to do this contract work & because of that opportunity I don’t take it lightly and I stay completely focused.

Being a working mom is very tough but somehow, there’s always a way to make it  work. I want to make sure I don’t get sidetracked because at the end of the day my children are my priority, and I definitely don’t want to miss moments of them growing up in anyway but that’s where balance come in. It’s not every contract that I will take but it’s not every contract I will miss either. God will see my family through.

Take back yourself Mama ❤️

This will be my last post having anything to do with our Bali trip and this is a post about me.

While in paradise for a short two weeks, I’ve never felt so good as a mommy. I really felt free and I was loving every bit of my curves and stomach and stretch marks like never before for myself! There’s something about vacations that make you feel more free than ever. Have you noticed that? Have you ever looked at anyone’s vacation pictures and see more of them than usual? It’s because of the freedom and relief to just be away. I love it!!

Remember in my previous blog I said I had a nanny and because of that it helped me “live my best mama life” I mean it. Going on vacation with kids is hardly a break because they will always be just as needy there just as home but I was enjoying myself.

Having two kids. I’m Twenty-nine, my body isn’t like it used to be when I was 18 (flat stomach, no ass, no breast, just lanky and tall) but NOW I have a full woman body. Hips and thighs, stretch marks and a tummy pouch which some days is bigger than others, I still have small breasts (I’ve accepted this fate lol) but yes my body is totally different. When you have children you need to find the balance to take care of them and take care of yourself. It’s not always easy especially when they are newborn but I’m dealing with a 1 1/2 year old and three year old. It’s amazing how much you can do & feel great about it. I feel like I can be super mom and still “slay” on! To feel like this as a mom takes time but I’ve reached that point where I know it’s just going to get better.

You keep yourself sexy and confident for yourself first & then for your husband! When you’re confident in your body, you’re even more attractive because they also see the glow shining within from the outside. I’m so lucky papa bear appreciates my body exactly how it is because I don’t have to hide behind something I am not. I just get to show my sexy on my terms and he enjoys and appreciates that. I pray none of you have to deal with an asshole, who shams you in any type of way as a mother, if they do F THEM 🖕🏼 You are beautiful! You gave life and you are EVERYTHING you are supposed to be.

When you get to the point where you’re ready to take back yourself! Do so without hesitation. We are all adults now. Who the heck is going to tell you anything?! Honestly. Don’t let these kids take over your life to the point where you can’t even feel good about yourself and don’t let them steal your mama shine! You are the maker and creator of them. “Give dem” (as we say in broken English) I know it takes a while to get to this place but YOU WILL AND CAN GET THERE and you’ll love it. Yes, some days or a lot of days you may just want to chill and that’s okay too because that’s life but anytime you want to show out… SHOW ALL THE WAY OUT HONEY 🍯

Is there a groom yourself age limit?

Is there a grooming age limit for children?

randomly came across this question while looking at the picture above.

My son Jaden loves to be pampered. Is it wrong that I let him at age three? I’m literally grooming him to enjoy good things. He loves to get pedicures on his tiny little toes and as you can see he knows what a good back massage and foot massage is. He says  “mommy, can you massage my feet or scratch my back.” Like!!! what do you know about that you little three old!

Honestly, I don’t mind treating him to mommies sweet foot massage or little back scratch. When I was younger, I remember my mom scratching my back when I asked it was the sweetest thing ever so maybe I’m just following a trait.

Am I training him up to be spoiled in this kind of way… Is it going to drive his lovely girlfriend or wife up the wall one day because he’s going to be asking for these things on demand… They do say we set up our children and then they are who they are, but I also believe that you’re never too young to enjoy something good as long as you know the value of it. I make sure I tell my son every day to be thankful, say his prayers and make sure he knows that some people don’t have things that he has and I use food as a good example. When he wants something and doesn’t feel like  eating it after he asked for it, I let him know that not everyone is fortunate enough to have a meal on their table on demand like you do so please finish up your food and it usually works. 

Everything is about moderation. Grooming is a part of life. I believe that kids should know how to put their shoes in order, know how to dress, brush their hair and teeth and know a routine and sometimes that routine consist of enjoying good things like pedicures and back massages.

At the end of the day, I know what I’m doing… I hope lol in the  meantime I will let his little three-old self, soon to be four enjoy those little things, but if I noticed him asking for something way more than often then it all comes to a stop and I’ll definitely have to deal with that consequence :/ “C’est la vie” sometimes.

 

 

Motherhood. The new decade. (Happy New Year)

1394BB3C-F1D5-404A-8BFC-D9959A7F930D

Happy New Year! A new decade is amongst us and I have so much to share again. I took a break because well state the obvious I was mommy-ing, but I was also wife-ing and working! Yup that’s right WORKING (not your regular 9-5 either) but we’ll save that blog for another day.

Jaden and Jada have grown up so much, there characters are something to share. What they say and what they do and how they bond is something special and I look forward to sharing this all from my eyes in words.

Stay tuned and again,
happy new year. May we all have a great start to the new year 🥂

Banana Split 🍌

It’s 5:37am May 14th 2019. I got woken up by a crying son who thought I wasn’t around. “I want my mommy, where’s my mommy” I instantly cuddled him and said “I’m here Jaden I’m right here.” His sleepy  crying eyes started to realize that he was dreaming and he’s calmed down.

Suddenly my daughter who is still breastfeeding starts to cry because I’ve pulled her off her milk supply. She’s making all types of noises and I can tell she’s upset she’s not drinking her milk… I put her back on.

Jaden now says he wants to cuddle with me again and he wants to sleep on my chest. “I’m feeding your sister” I said and again he just got upset!

It’s times like this, I wish I was two of me. It’s so hard to give the exact attention to both of them at the same time when they both need it. They both want to be close to me, they both want to lay their head on my chest but my chest is only so big 😦 dilemmas and quick thinking. I shifted my girl to the left, I moved him to the right and I’m laying down straight so I can give them half a side each. It temporarily worked but they were both still complaining small, lucky for me the “sand man” came and put them back to sleep.

My son has now scooted over to right and my daughter is about to be scooted to the left so I can catch a few more zzz’s

Oh the joys of motherhood.

A girl named Jada.

The last time I properly spoke about my daughter I mentioned how she was barely opening her eyes. Eleven months later, her eyes are big, beautiful and brown.

My sweet girl. Full name Jada Folasade. I never thought I’d find love quite like this. She’s just like my Jaden but a girl version. She’s coming into her own little sassy self! She’s addicted to me, even more than her big brother was at this age. She practically screams at the top of her lungs when I turn my back or walk away… it’s something to see but do I mind?! Not really, I’m flattered that a little human being can love someone so much. It makes me happy. Yes, there are times when it can drive others to confusion and when I need a moment to focus on her brother or another things it can be quite bothersome but it’s all out of Love.

My daughter is a real little girl. She’s so cute and cuddly, smart and her smiles just light up the room. She herself is an amazing younger sister. She loves to play with Jaden, she loves to share & when she hears his voice, her whole face lights up. It’s match made.

In one month, she’s already about to be one years old and I can’t believe it. Time just simply goes by too fast. She was just a baby that we took on a family trip to New Orleans and now she’s a little madam who takes command and ALWAYS wants to eat my food, and eat on her own and stand and talk her baby talk and test her brother… (what do I mean test? Stay tuned for the next blog or two away )  😉

I am a very proud mother, I really am raising two amazing kids, it’s never easy but it’s constant learning and growing for myself and them and between us I remember when my doctor said my son Jaden would be a girl I felt some way… but a life without my sweet princess in it doesn’t make sense now. She’s another part of my puzzle, another part of her brother and another part of our family which we are in love with.

I’m curious about the woman she’s going to become. The different stages of growth. Her style and attitude and how she’ll carry herself.  I think about this with both my children.  It’s an amazing thought that time will eventually reveal all.

I love my princess so much just like I love my son and I’m just so thankful that they have an amazing bond with each other even though it’s a year and 3 months apart. They go together like PB&J. Watching them together is like an amazing surreal movie. These interactions between her and her brother are  the best thing a mother could watch.

This little girl has brought something special to our family.  🙂