The contract mommy

As of last year, I decided to take the jump and go back to work. It’s not your regular 9-5 … it’s quite intensive, the hours are long but the great news is that it’s contracted.

I love contract work because it gives me the ability to be very flexible as a mother. I can have time for my own business, I can have time for my husband, I can have time for my children, and do everything that I want to do if I’m not currently doing that work.

It was a big step for me, but very necessary… Because there’s so many things that go on in the family, and there are so many things to take care of, and so many goals to reach and it’s cool to rely on one income but it’s not too bad to rely on two incomes especially when you’re bringing in some correct money.

Last year when I was away on work, I luckily had my amazing sister to help me with Papa bear watching the children it worked out. We all survived. This time, same situation but the distance is longer… Remember I said in an earlier blog I took my children to west Africa? Well as of right now they are there, and I am in the in the states! Can you imagine 😭 That is a lot of water between us, literally oceans between us. I think I can survive this because I know they are with my mother, they are in great hands & I will see them very soon.

It’s quite a tough thing to leave your children behind but sometimes in this life, you have to make sacrifices. This time I didn’t have my sister around and for Papa bear to watch our children alone although I know he could do it for two weeks nonstop, it would STOP absolutely everything he had to do for himself and our family. Would that be fair of me to ask him to sit still? Hmm 🤔 we have the same goals to reach and parenting is a two work man job but sometimes you really have to make sacrifices to better the whole family. I know the kids will be alright.

I spoke to my son not too long ago today, and yes he did cry “mommy, I miss you. Come back home” it totally broke my heart but I had to put on my big girl pants and realize I’m starting work again tomorrow and I’m going to be busy and focused and I’ll be back in your cute/sweet lovely arms in no time.

Motherhood is such a big deal. As a mom, you have to make all these decisions and all these decisions have consequences. I know there are some women and men that will judge me for going to work with two children, especially small children but then I think to myself “you’re not paying any of my bills” and all of those opinions are irrelevant. I know the lifestyle I’m trying to live, I know exactly what I want to give my children. You can’t always just expect everything to be handed to you especially from Papa bear. As a woman there’s nothing wrong with getting your hands a little dirty and the benefits will be glorious in the long run. I know exactly why I’m doing this and I know the rewards that can come from this and I know I’ll see my children very soon.

The house is so quiet right now though. I told papa bear “Is this what it’s like when your kids go to college?.” Just the two of us. Quiet. No mess anywhere. No noise. Just us. This is happening right now, so imagine when I children are really young adults of their own and everything we ever wanted is set and our goals are met. Pretty amazing.

I know there will be some days at work when I get to the hotel,  I’ll feel sad and I might cry because I do miss my children but every day that I wake up, it’s just another day that the contract is further down the line and another day that I’ve gotten paid.

I’m very grateful that I had the opportunity to do this contract work & because of that opportunity I don’t take it lightly and I stay completely focused.

Being a working mom is very tough but somehow, there’s always a way to make it  work. I want to make sure I don’t get sidetracked because at the end of the day my children are my priority, and I definitely don’t want to miss moments of them growing up in anyway but that’s where balance come in. It’s not every contract that I will take but it’s not every contract I will miss either. God will see my family through.

Is there a groom yourself age limit?

Is there a grooming age limit for children?

I randomly came across this question while looking at the picture above.

My son Jaden loves to be pampered. Is it wrong that I let him at age three? I’m literally grooming him to enjoy good things. He loves to get pedicures on his tiny little toes and as you can see he knows what a good back massage and foot massage is. He says  “mommy, can you massage my feet or scratch my back.” Like!!! what do you know about that you little three old!

Honestly, I don’t mind treating him to mommies sweet foot massage or little back scratch. When I was younger, I remember my mom scratching my back when I asked it was the sweetest thing ever so maybe I’m just following a trait.

Am I training him up to be spoiled in this kind of way… Is it going to drive his lovely girlfriend or wife up the wall one day because he’s going to be asking for these things on demand… They do say we set up our children and then they are who they are, but I also believe that you’re never too young to enjoy something good as long as you know the value of it. I make sure I tell my son every day to be thankful, say his prayers and make sure he knows that some people don’t have things that he has and I use food as a good example. When he wants something and doesn’t feel like  eating it after he asked for it, I let him know that not everyone is fortunate enough to have a meal on their table on demand like you do so please finish up your food and it usually works. 

Everything is about moderation. Grooming is a part of life. I believe that kids should know how to put their shoes in order, know how to dress, brush their hair and teeth and know a routine and sometimes that routine consist of enjoying good things like pedicures and back massages.

At the end of the day, I know what I’m doing… I hope lol in the  meantime I will let his little three-old self, soon to be four enjoy those little things, but if I noticed him asking for something way more than often then it all comes to a stop and I’ll definitely have to deal with that consequence “C’est la vie” sometimes.

 

 

“I need a break. We need to put him in school!”

That time has come. Faster than I ever thought it would. Day care. It needed to happen, as I mentioned last week Papa bear and I are dealing with the  troublesome two stage, I needed the break. It took some time because I wanted our son to start before two and he said “NO, let’s wait till after two” but I just couldn’t wait any longer! Of course I love my little man around me but sometimes space is necessary. I needed time to rest (for good reasons) time to catch up on house chores and even clean his toy area properly. Different things. You’ll be surprised how much you can get down with your little one away. Even if I wasn’t resting, I could just enjoy some Mommy time and I have no regrets 🙂

I think as a first time Mom, I did well putting my son in school – it was sad hearing him cry every time I’d leave but it’s temporary time and temporary tears. I like the teachers in the school and I’d observed them when I visit and get to know them so I’m fully aware who is teaching him. The only concern I have is feeding times. I know my son is a picky eater and even though the amount is written down of what and how much he ate, as a parent you really never know that’s why I pack him a  few of his favorite things on the side just incase. It makes me feel at ease.

I enjoy the fact that he’s made new friends and can learn how to interact with others even more than before & learn at a different pace. I’ve done well teaching him in the meantime and learning never stops in our household but it’s great to know he’s learning in two places and from others as well.

The downside of day care is IT’S so expensive oh my gosh! I never knew. Parents don’t talk about this. You have to do your research and find out which school will fit you best and when you do, be prepared for some crazy fees – it’s quite annoying seeing as some of the kids are so small and it takes such a huge chunk out of your finances week after week or bi-weekly or monthly if you choose. In this situation you really can’t have your cake and eat it too because if you don’t  want to pay well – your kiddie stays at home 😩  sorry !!

All in all – Day care for me is win and let me tell you parents, THERE’S NOTHING LIKE SEEING THAT PRICELESS SMILE AND GETTING A LOVED FILLED HUG WHEN YOU PICK THEM UP AFTER SCHOOL ❤️

 

 

“You want some milk?”

Since my son was born he’s been quite the breast feeder. I’m not sure what it is that has drawn him in but I’m all for it because I believe it’s very healthy for him although it can be annoying because something I feel I am limited to wearing certain clothes just in case he’s ready to throw a fit and now I have to rush somewhere to take off what I have on.

I’ve already stated introducing Jaden to solid food which I talked about in an earlier blog. I’ve noticed that because of this food substitute he still loves his breast milk but now I can give him various food and drink items throughout the day and then towards the evenings, I give him the breastmilk. This has become my way of weening him off gradually. It’s definitely working. As long as I have the right food on me when we’re out he seems to understand that it’s not the time for breastmilk.

Now other mothers who are also breastfeeding can say, “well pump.” Sorry, that’s just not for me. . . I did love my pump in the beginning then it become a task for me, literally! I’d rather to laundry than pump milk. To each their own but I hardly use the device UNLESS I am super swollen and Jaden is around then yes I’ll use it but otherwise no.

I believe every mother has their own method for her own child & our babies have their own method of letting us know what they are ready for and what they are still wanting to stay the same. It’s really about communication. When I tell Jaden “Do you want some milk?” He literally turns around and looks at me because he knows what MILK I’m talking about. If I say “Juice” he doesn’t pay attention until I show him the juice carton and then he crawls over fast because he knows that’s the little juice box of sweet yummy goodness.

Breastfeeding is a big task whether you believe in it or not but I’m getting to that point where although I love him taking my milk, I’m over it. He’s got his teeth coming in and sometimes he thinks it’s funny to take a bite and it really hurts.

I think it’s time to put and end to it. I’m not sure how I want to go about it… where I am it’s cold so I could do the turtle necks for a week and there’s zero access, maybe he’ll get the picture but I’m definitely ready to try something.

He’s becoming a big boy and I’m also realizing as a mother, I really am the boss of him so although he might not “baby like me” for a while, he’ll get over it and I won’t feel so guilty.

What are some of your ween off methods mom’s?

Bath time reaction.

It’s no surprise that washing our little ones is a daily and nightly routine. I actually enjoy bath time because it’s also a type of bonding time. Lucky for me Jaden loves water ever since he was born and I’ve seen him enjoy his bath water more and more that sometimes he’ll even cry when I put he towel around him.

The products I use for him are usually light perfumed & I use a soft sponge to clean his body down. Always use a sponge, I wasn’t a fan in the beginning but it’s necessary after all they get into so much throughout the day and there’s nothing like a good scrub.

Recently I used Johnson & Johnson product (I’m sure you’ve noticed their rep is changing gradually sadly) anyways, I noticed a slight rash on my baby. Nothing too alarming per his pediatrician but we discussed switching to NO PERFUME anything. As a test I am now trying : Aveeno baby body lotion & Comforts for baby body wash. I’m hoping that’ll help and to top it off I also add Eucerine baby relief for eczema.

TAKE NOTE: just like with milk based formula always be alert on our children’s skin. Reactions can either occur immediately or gradually, never wait & switch.

I’ll be sure to keep you updated on how Jaden’s skin looks within the next few weeks.

What’s the time Mr. Wolf? “Time to EAT”

Food is one of the most important things we can care about, especially when it’s time for feeding baby.

First and foremost, BREASTMILK is #1. If you believe in it of course, I don’t judge anyone because everyone has their own reasons as to why or why they don’t want to breast-feed. I believe in it & my son loves it so much I don’t even know how on earth I’m going to ween him off. It is a proper meal especially if you’re producing enough and my son was consistent with his breastmilk  up until he was 5-6 months old, then I started introducing other solid foods.

Every child is different and sometimes your baby might not even want your breast and that’s ok! What’s important is that they eat the right amount during their feeding time. Now for the new mom’s who breastfeed who are wondering how do we know our baby is getting enough milk? Well, I always fed him a formula bottle in between just to make sure because you really can’t know. Babies can’t talk so you have to really think for them, if you’re trying to drink water from a dripping tap, you’re gonna shelve it and get a bottle of water right, so you have to think about it that way.

If you’re a formula feeding mommy, that’s all great too. ALWAYS make sure you’re giving your child the right amount and what’s majorly important is to check on your child after drinking. Not every baby can drink the same formula! If you see any type of rash or face swelling, stop feeding your child that milk instantly. It’s nothing to debate, they can be allergic to something so rather than think it won’t happen again, NO! Stop that formula and try another one.

When it comes to introducing the solid foods again, every child is different. In the beginning I was a google mom meaning I wanted to know exactly when to feed & what, and how etc etc! Don’t be like me ladies… yes, you can research and read what other mommies are saying but don’t use that for your child word for word. Although babies can’t talk, if they don’t like it, they won’t eat it – simple. If they like it, they’ll open their mouths as fast as you’ve just inserted the last spoonful obviously asking for more please.

Ever since my son has started eating solids, he drinks breastmilk  less as in, mainly evening feeds however when he wants it, he can throw a baby fit so I gladly feed him how he likes. I think that you shouldn’t be afraid for your child to try new things because the sooner they like something then there’s a huge possibility they will enjoy it as they grow up. Giving your baby solid foods also gives you the opportunity to explore new dishes and find out hmmm what exactly does my child like. It’s actually fun and even more so when they enjoy that particular food because that’s a memory and if you’re lucky enough a snap shot to hold on to. I’m partially West African and we eat all types of food. I was nervous when Jaden’s grandma wanted to give him some of our local dishes. It turns out Jaden was in love with them to the point where I have to learn how to cook them for him on a regular. If google knew what I was giving him it would probably disagree with me but my baby loves it, it’s baby safe, portioned and he’s growing so well that I made the right choice.

The main thing about feeding our babies when it comes to solid food is making sure, it’s not too sweet or too much salt. We have to make sure they are not allergic to anything. We have to remember to feed on time as much as we might get busy & most importantly we have to stick to a healthy meal plan. HEALTH IS WEALTH! Don’t feed you child something you wouldn’t try yourself and don’t get them stuck on anything can harm them later in life. They might be small babies now but you don’t want to be dealing with any issues later because of simple and better choices you could have made. Other than that, let them eat away.
Here is a list Jaden’s snacks & meals. (In another blog I’ll be more specific with ingredients especially for his West African meals)

– Apple sauce
– Vegetable purée
– Cream and milk purée
– Spaghetti and meatballs
– Okra & fufu (Ghanaian/Nigerian)
– Okra/meat & Eba (Nigerian)
– Potatoes and boiled egg
– Chicken & vegetables
– Broccoli & cheese

Routine, routine

On a previous post of mine “Am I still pretty?” I talked about how it takes time to getting back to where you once were. I didn’t go into the specifics but I feel it’s worth sharing some of the things I do and some of the items I use.

To start off, Ive always had quite dry skin. Super annoying because I always have to keep it moist with lotion. I tend to use a Switzerland brand called “Excipial” it’s very thick and lasts all day long. The Equivalent of this lotion would be Nivea’s body lotion for dry skin. Even when I was pregnant I made sure I had one of these creams by my side because I knew how the body was going to change and stretch and I also wanted to avoid severe stretch marks. A lot of women use cocoa butter which also works but it’s very important to make sure it’s applied every single day and not just on the belly, but on your whole body.

As I’ve mentioned before unfortunately that glowing skin does not last, however you can still have people say “Wow, you’re glowing” with three magical products: vitamin A oil, my most favorite Rose water & Collagen pills.

The Vitamin A I have came from my favorite website where I seem to find everything I need, Amazon.com by Seeking Health. It is a liquid form that comes in a tiny bottle. I use this every single day, twice a day. The secret with Vitamin A is that it rejuvenates the face, helps with acne & I believe it works from the outside in. It’s a simple application and you can even apply it after you cream your face.

Rose water is the absolute best. Firstly it smells heavenly. This is also something I apply twice a day (morning and evening) although I’ve definitely caught myself spraying it more often than I should. Rose water has worked fairly quick on my face. The benefits are it tones out your skin, balances out your PH, soothes and nourishes with every spray. It’s a sticky free mist and it’s given me the perfect glow i’m always looking for. I honestly wish I discovered it sooner… I even think one day I’ll plant a rose and use it’s water to see what happens lol currently I’ve tried rose water from “Leven Rose” & from Morocco.

I know not everyone is fan of swallowing pills especially one regarding your skin care, but ladies these pills actually work! More specifically, I use Collagen pills. They are like miracle workers in the body, the downside is that it takes about one month before you really start seeing results but to me it’s worth the wait & you have to take 6 pills which is a lot, three in the morning without a meal and three at night before bed.

I actually took collagen before I was pregnant, it worked then and works now. I don’t recommend taking them while pregnant but afterwards, no problem. It doesn’t effect your breastmilk either so that’s a double plus. Some of the great benefits you get from Collagen are: healthy skin, healthy nails, stronger hair and apparently it also helps with your joints ( or so says the packaging. My joints are well and dandy at the moment so I can’t confirm anything with that) Collagen is good because each pill releases all of the natural elements that the body needs but again, they work, work, work so give it a try one of these months or two.

The Workout.

Once I finally got myself to the gym, which was the best decision I made because I love the energy I get in the mornings. I decided to go 5 days a week. A quick run down of things I do are…

– Cardio workout (treadmill, cycling, field work out)
– Weights (Always start light and work your way up) I work on my abs/booty/legs/upper body
– Taebo class (A great combo of Cardio and abs training)
– Spinning class (personally a work out from hell) but the sweat is great and you’re really doing the heart a great favor and your legs
– Stretching (so Important for before and after) I even find stretching stressful sometimes because I’m not too flexible but over a period of time I have gotten better.

Working out is not only beneficial for our health but it gives us power throughout the day. Much needed energy when you have a child. Once you get to that point of being ready to dedicate your time to fitness you’ll start enjoying it so much and you’ll get in great shape especially after having a child. What’s important mom’s is that you go at it on your own time and pace. Don’t compare yourself, just stay focused & don’t forget to drink plenty of water and have a good nutritional diet.

Now that you know my “what I do & what I use,” I’d love to get an insight of your own routines. Sharing is caring so let me know.