A never ending journey to a magical place. Bali, Indonesia.

For the first time, the children and I spent the Christmas/New Year season in a brand new place, Bali! Such an amazing place. The culture, the people, the enjoyment and food and touristy things… it was just one trip for the books that I will never forget. We did so much; monkey sanctuaries and snorkeling and temples & beaching… the list could go on.

Despite having a blast and literally living my best mommy life (how right?! With two toddlers there) One word NANNY! They practically cost nothing per hour I mean I was shocked at how little I had to pay for so many hours of childcare. I definitely got my money’s worth but before I get side tracked AGAIN despite having a blast, THE JOURNEY there and back was a nightmare.

First off and so sad, papa bear couldn’t make it because of passports issues! I was already two arms and two legs short of what I needed but I’m super mom and I always make it work which I did. Was it easy? Absolutely not! We were on three airplanes both coming and going and the trip took a total of 23 hours! Can you believe that! I mean who doesn’t want to enjoy paradise but 23 hours with toddlers… I realized I really must have needed that break.

Jaden and Jada did amazingly well with all that up and down flying but when that restlessness set in, let’s say I was looking for the extra help I needed from papa bear. I had to keep them busy and feed them and change them and make sure I ate and didn’t spill my wine which I did multiple times because how much space can I have with a toddler on my lap (she is about to turn two and those days are soon sadly over $$$$$) but yes, it was a lot ! From Atlanta to Canada to Hong Kong to Bali I mean can someone give me my damn motherhood of the year award already…. that’s motherhood though isn’t it! So much doing and little getting. I accept it because I do it all out of love.

Going on such a crazy long journey with the kids really made me evaluate how I do things for myself… Just as little as getting the stroller together, and making sure this bag is here and these toys are there and the drinks are here. It’s so exhausting!… But again I did it. Every single detail counts when it comes to traveling with children and sometimes you get annoyed with yourself, because you do end up taking stuff you didn’t even need anything to yourself why the heck didn’t I check that in!!! I’m just so happy that it worked out and I didn’t have a breakdown now this is just us getting to Paradise not to mention us leaving Paradise… I change the whole flight plan because I had to get my kids to west Africa and from Bali to buy his clothes and from Dubai west Africa is close so why would I take myself all the way back to the United States when I’m closer than ever. I’m  just so happy that it worked out and I didn’t have a mommy breakdown but then I did. That was just us getting to paradise not to mention us leaving paradise.

I change the whole flight plan because I had to get my kids to West Africa and from Bali to Dubai is relatively close  and from Dubai to West Africa is close so why would I take myself all the way back to the United States when I’m closer than ever right?! I got myself in so much shit lol 😆 I happen to find an amazingly cheap ticket to get us where we needed to go but the flight plan was horrific… Bali to China, to Hong Kong to Dubai. I literally flew up and down I mean what was I thinking, those were one of those I feel terrible moments because I should’ve put my kids through that even though we all survived it. Let’s just say next time no cutting corners!! I’m  paying the full price and taking the fastest route. Even though I was in China for such a short time they were giving me so many problems just to do a transit and that’s when I had my mommy break down. Immigration there was asking me for all sorts of things for no reason why does this passport have this name, why does this passport have this name, obviously I’n married mr. Immigration… Maiden name, married name! I was just so happy that they gave us our quick 24 hour transit and I could get out of there. It’s already hard enough that I was doing an Israelite journey &  I didn’t need any crap from any immigration officer’s.

When I think of everything as a whole I just think wow 😳  there can be a price to pay to make it to Paradise… But, I guess it’s all part of the journey but let me tell you something if I ever do any type of trip like that again there’s absolutely NO WAY I’m doing it alone without papa bear point blank period!!

 

Jaden is Two 🎉 I threw the birthday party at home & I survived!!!

My baby boy toddler is finally two years old! I thank God for his life. 

Seeing as we just had a fantastic family vacation in Florida, I didn’t feel the need to rent anywhere for a celebration with friends and family so I decided to through the party at our home… oh my gosh! The stress, the panic. 

You never really know what you’re getting into until you have to get all the details together… from the cake to the drinks and food & don’t forget the cooler and Ice & the decorations and make sure there’s enough this and that & some of that 😅

This party wasn’t just for one but for two amazing boys, my son and my close friend Adeline’s son also – Jaden turned 2 & Johnny turned 5 – The theme of the party was Pj Masks, so you can image how the superhero kids filled the house. I’m so thankful that it’s a hit Disney cartoon show because finding decorations was a breeze, setting up the decorations, that was a lot. 

You don’t think you have a lot until you have to tape everything up and some of it falls off + I have an excited toddler wanting to touch everything. Placement is key. Children’s corner, adult corner, what toys are appropriate and safe for all the kids (parenting tip – remove all the small stuff and keep all the big stuff and puzzles) that’s what I did plus we had some fun fun balls, a basketball hoop and of course the hit of the party the “little tikes” slide. 

When guests started arriving we had enough of everything & I was so happy to see how all the kids had such a great time right away, after all it is for them. The kiddie table had delicious snacks and fruit so there definitely no worries over there. Music was playing & it definitely has the kids on there feet 😬

It’s funny when you have to throw something, the time just flys ✈️ by. I honestly didn’t think I’d make it in time because one minute it’s Monday and boom it’s PARTY DAY!! But I survived, I made it through & everything was a huge success! 

My son got some wonderful toys which he enjoyed the next day and still does & with all that I did to set up, cleaning up wasn’t half bad. My mom taught me at a young age, clean up right away because the next day you can relax!!! IT’S THE TRUTH! I woke up and all I had to deal with was extra food – which wasn’t an issue because we just ate it up throughout the day.

Parents are really super hero’s in disguise!!! Kudos to all of us 😉 although they might not acknowledge it right away, are children are so thankful for these moments we create for them. 

 

Back like we never left :)

Happy 2018 parents and readers. I know I’ve been away for quite some time but HELLO I’m dealing with TROUBLESOME TWO! save meeeeee.

So much development has happened before my eyes! My little guy (who has a personality out of this world) I’ve come to learn – has grown up faster, stronger, smarter and it’s just incredible.

His second birthday is just two months away but I meant what I said – trouble trouble has approached since last year – I don’t blame him. A whole new world of exploration, a whole new world of “Jaden,
Mommy said NO!” Which in his little ears means “Jaden, Mommy said YES!”

He’s wired like a cat playing with a ball of yarn, he’s so focused on whatever he desires and suddenly he can stop and focus on something else.

He’s learning how to speak which is great! New words every single day which is wonderful – “Mama and Dada” is all fun for a while but then you really want to communicate with your child and it’s so exciting when he points out and says words – whether self taught by listening or hearing it from me or a book or maybe even SCHOOL (Yup, he’s in school – another blog for another day) I just love it.

What’s even more amazing is the ability to remember. I’ve taught him something once and boom he’s doing it or saying it  – he knows so many songs, and he’ll hum them in his own way but I know exactly what he’s singing and I’ll join in most of the time with the words so he knows I’m listening. My favorite is his ability to clean up his water/juice messes. If he happens to pour some on the floor, he’ll look up at me and raise his hand up asking for a paper towel or cloth and once I hand it to him, he starts wiping away!!! You’re never too young to start cleaning early so I’m proud he takes up his responsibilty (now if I can only get him to pack his toys in Chest) lol funny right, kids know what clean up is but choose what they will clean up. I’ll let it slide for a little while longer but then “Clean up, clean up everybody- everywhere” will take proper effect.

Time really does fly… so new parents with newborn babies ENJOY EVERY SECOND. I did but I also feel like so much was so new to me you miss moments like cuddling your newborn.

I hardly remember holding my son but when I see the millions of pictures I took I somehow remember.

The journey of two has almost begun and bravo to me (If I may) as a first time Mommy to reach this milestone and kudos to every other mom out there too. It’s not easy and achhhhh so many countless meltdowns but I’m still here doing the dang thing (like I have a choice) lol !!!!!

Optimistic Mommy

Being a mother is no short or small task. Throughout your pregnancy, you have to be very aware of what’s going on inside of you (that’s why we have our weekly to monthly dr visits) to check on our little ones. We have to watch what we eat and even what we do because in no way are we trying to strain ourselves.

The more I thought about my own pregnancy, I realized that I didn’t limit myself to anything. I believe that you can do what you like and you can do it with so much positivity in your heart that your body is working with you and not against you. I traveled to distant places after getting told not to go anywhere. I said “why not” and I got a harsh “because you can lose the baby” I was baffled. Why are people so quick to point out negatives. Don’t you think a carrying mother needs a break to relax on the sand or wherever she chooses to. YES, absolutely, there is a time to fly and a time to NOT fly but that shouldn’t limit what you enjoy doing.

The same thing goes for food. If you’re like me, you like to read up on a lot of things or rather ask a lot questions. I seek for answers because I know that someone has shared the same thought or even have gone through the same thing as me so I like reading others opinions and outcomes. I’m definitely a “foodie” and nothing has changed even after pregnancy lol but being that type and being pregnant is glorious because I enjoyed my meals so much and I knew little man was enjoying every bite in baby form also. The point is, I came across loads of “Do not drink this, do not eat that” let me tell you it’s a load of BS. As my cousin once said “a happy pregnancy is the best pregnancy so eat whatever the hell you want.” She wasn’t lying. I never let the discouraging food list stop me from enjoying my meals or drinks (some of that “No” list included : Salami, Arizona Ice Tea, carbonated water; Mozzarella) how can things I love, let alone had the deepest cravings for be on the don’t try it because it’ll harm your child. I ignored it completely and here I am typing with my healthy child by my side (I thank God)

The one that got me the most…. Pregnancy DEPRESSION. Don’t let this define you ladies!!!!! That word is thrown around as if it’s something you buy. In my experience, I was extremely hormonal. I had Terrible mood swings which made me aggressive and I had mood swings which made me cry for nothing. When I mean cry for nothing literally. During my baby shower I saw two ants and killed one by mistake I think I cried a bit and I knew my sister and cousin were thinking is she serious or not lol… I was completely serious. Just because you let out emotions especially tears, don’t just believe you’re going to be depressed forever. I understand that there are a lot of thoughts running through your head about raising a child but YOU CAN DO IT.

Postpartum depression is a real thing and I pray for every mother who struggles with it. Although a huge issue to some, please don’t let it take over, especially before it’s even really taking place. True story. One of my dr’s who I removed right away after this conversation asked me once, “how are you feeling?” I told her, “I’ve been sad and crying a lot.” Without even hardly letting me finish she said “you’re probably depressed and you’re more likely to have postpartum, let me subscribe you some pills now so you’re less depressed.” EXCUSE ME! I was actually offended. Yes you’re a professional but why was she so quick to put me on drugs. Zero optimism. She just jumped to the negative conclusion. It’s so easy for people to feed you a quick solution and I am against that because if you tell yourself, I am not depressed and in a pregnant mothers case, knowing my child will love me unconditionally, and I can love my child back… eventually you can have the will power and do that. It might not be easy for some and there are women who do seek medication but please don’t let any Dr. make you believe that you need it. By the time the baby comes you’ll be so numb inside with your feelings, you won’t even know what’s going on. That’s why as said at the top, don’t let it define you. I listened to her “advice” and gave her a NO! I’ll be fine. I was crying for ridiculous things and no where was Depression of not feeling connected to my son apart of that.

Having optimism and faith go hand in hand. I believe if you put your mind to it, all will be well. Can challenges come about yes but it’s about how you handle every situation. With optimism you also do need realism because if there is something that needs to be known, never be oblivious to it, get the facts, seek the advice and go from there but always go in with strong positivity and the outcomes can be endless.

“You want some milk?”

Since my son was born he’s been quite the breast feeder. I’m not sure what it is that has drawn him in but I’m all for it because I believe it’s very healthy for him although it can be annoying because something I feel I am limited to wearing certain clothes just in case he’s ready to throw a fit and now I have to rush somewhere to take off what I have on.

I’ve already stated introducing Jaden to solid food which I talked about in an earlier blog. I’ve noticed that because of this food substitute he still loves his breast milk but now I can give him various food and drink items throughout the day and then towards the evenings, I give him the breastmilk. This has become my way of weening him off gradually. It’s definitely working. As long as I have the right food on me when we’re out he seems to understand that it’s not the time for breastmilk.

Now other mothers who are also breastfeeding can say, “well pump.” Sorry, that’s just not for me. . . I did love my pump in the beginning then it become a task for me, literally! I’d rather to laundry than pump milk. To each their own but I hardly use the device UNLESS I am super swollen and Jaden is around then yes I’ll use it but otherwise no.

I believe every mother has their own method for her own child & our babies have their own method of letting us know what they are ready for and what they are still wanting to stay the same. It’s really about communication. When I tell Jaden “Do you want some milk?” He literally turns around and looks at me because he knows what MILK I’m talking about. If I say “Juice” he doesn’t pay attention until I show him the juice carton and then he crawls over fast because he knows that’s the little juice box of sweet yummy goodness.

Breastfeeding is a big task whether you believe in it or not but I’m getting to that point where although I love him taking my milk, I’m over it. He’s got his teeth coming in and sometimes he thinks it’s funny to take a bite and it really hurts.

I think it’s time to put and end to it. I’m not sure how I want to go about it… where I am it’s cold so I could do the turtle necks for a week and there’s zero access, maybe he’ll get the picture but I’m definitely ready to try something.

He’s becoming a big boy and I’m also realizing as a mother, I really am the boss of him so although he might not “baby like me” for a while, he’ll get over it and I won’t feel so guilty.

What are some of your ween off methods mom’s?

What’s the time Mr. Wolf? “Time to EAT”

Food is one of the most important things we can care about, especially when it’s time for feeding baby.

First and foremost, BREASTMILK is #1. If you believe in it of course, I don’t judge anyone because everyone has their own reasons as to why or why they don’t want to breast-feed. I believe in it & my son loves it so much I don’t even know how on earth I’m going to ween him off. It is a proper meal especially if you’re producing enough and my son was consistent with his breastmilk  up until he was 5-6 months old, then I started introducing other solid foods.

Every child is different and sometimes your baby might not even want your breast and that’s ok! What’s important is that they eat the right amount during their feeding time. Now for the new mom’s who breastfeed who are wondering how do we know our baby is getting enough milk? Well, I always fed him a formula bottle in between just to make sure because you really can’t know. Babies can’t talk so you have to really think for them, if you’re trying to drink water from a dripping tap, you’re gonna shelve it and get a bottle of water right, so you have to think about it that way.

If you’re a formula feeding mommy, that’s all great too. ALWAYS make sure you’re giving your child the right amount and what’s majorly important is to check on your child after drinking. Not every baby can drink the same formula! If you see any type of rash or face swelling, stop feeding your child that milk instantly. It’s nothing to debate, they can be allergic to something so rather than think it won’t happen again, NO! Stop that formula and try another one.

When it comes to introducing the solid foods again, every child is different. In the beginning I was a google mom meaning I wanted to know exactly when to feed & what, and how etc etc! Don’t be like me ladies… yes, you can research and read what other mommies are saying but don’t use that for your child word for word. Although babies can’t talk, if they don’t like it, they won’t eat it – simple. If they like it, they’ll open their mouths as fast as you’ve just inserted the last spoonful obviously asking for more please.

Ever since my son has started eating solids, he drinks breastmilk  less as in, mainly evening feeds however when he wants it, he can throw a baby fit so I gladly feed him how he likes. I think that you shouldn’t be afraid for your child to try new things because the sooner they like something then there’s a huge possibility they will enjoy it as they grow up. Giving your baby solid foods also gives you the opportunity to explore new dishes and find out hmmm what exactly does my child like. It’s actually fun and even more so when they enjoy that particular food because that’s a memory and if you’re lucky enough a snap shot to hold on to. I’m partially West African and we eat all types of food. I was nervous when Jaden’s grandma wanted to give him some of our local dishes. It turns out Jaden was in love with them to the point where I have to learn how to cook them for him on a regular. If google knew what I was giving him it would probably disagree with me but my baby loves it, it’s baby safe, portioned and he’s growing so well that I made the right choice.

The main thing about feeding our babies when it comes to solid food is making sure, it’s not too sweet or too much salt. We have to make sure they are not allergic to anything. We have to remember to feed on time as much as we might get busy & most importantly we have to stick to a healthy meal plan. HEALTH IS WEALTH! Don’t feed you child something you wouldn’t try yourself and don’t get them stuck on anything can harm them later in life. They might be small babies now but you don’t want to be dealing with any issues later because of simple and better choices you could have made. Other than that, let them eat away.
Here is a list Jaden’s snacks & meals. (In another blog I’ll be more specific with ingredients especially for his West African meals)

– Apple sauce
– Vegetable purée
– Cream and milk purée
– Spaghetti and meatballs
– Okra & fufu (Ghanaian/Nigerian)
– Okra/meat & Eba (Nigerian)
– Potatoes and boiled egg
– Chicken & vegetables
– Broccoli & cheese