A never ending journey to a magical place. Bali, Indonesia.

For the first time, the children and I spent the Christmas/New Year season in a brand new place, Bali! Such an amazing place. The culture, the people, the enjoyment and food and touristy things… it was just one trip for the books that I will never forget. We did so much; monkey sanctuaries and snorkeling and temples & beaching… the list could go on.

Despite having a blast and literally living my best mommy life (how right?! With two toddlers there) One word NANNY! They practically cost nothing per hour I mean I was shocked at how little I had to pay for so many hours of childcare. I definitely got my money’s worth but before I get side tracked AGAIN despite having a blast, THE JOURNEY there and back was a nightmare.

First off and so sad, papa bear couldn’t make it because of passports issues! I was already two arms and two legs short of what I needed but I’m super mom and I always make it work which I did. Was it easy? Absolutely not! We were on three airplanes both coming and going and the trip took a total of 23 hours! Can you believe that! I mean who doesn’t want to enjoy paradise but 23 hours with toddlers… I realized I really must have needed that break.

Jaden and Jada did amazingly well with all that up and down flying but when that restlessness set in, let’s say I was looking for the extra help I needed from papa bear. I had to keep them busy and feed them and change them and make sure I ate and didn’t spill my wine which I did multiple times because how much space can I have with a toddler on my lap (she is about to turn two and those days are soon sadly over $$$$$) but yes, it was a lot ! From Atlanta to Canada to Hong Kong to Bali I mean can someone give me my damn motherhood of the year award already…. that’s motherhood though isn’t it! So much doing and little getting. I accept it because I do it all out of love.

Going on such a crazy long journey with the kids really made me evaluate how I do things for myself… Just as little as getting the stroller together, and making sure this bag is here and these toys are there and the drinks are here. It’s so exhausting!… But again I did it. Every single detail counts when it comes to traveling with children and sometimes you get annoyed with yourself, because you do end up taking stuff you didn’t even need anything to yourself why the heck didn’t I check that in!!! I’m just so happy that it worked out and I didn’t have a breakdown now this is just us getting to Paradise not to mention us leaving Paradise… I change the whole flight plan because I had to get my kids to west Africa and from Bali to buy his clothes and from Dubai west Africa is close so why would I take myself all the way back to the United States when I’m closer than ever. I’m  just so happy that it worked out and I didn’t have a mommy breakdown but then I did. That was just us getting to paradise not to mention us leaving paradise.

I change the whole flight plan because I had to get my kids to West Africa and from Bali to Dubai is relatively close  and from Dubai to West Africa is close so why would I take myself all the way back to the United States when I’m closer than ever right?! I got myself in so much shit lol 😆 I happen to find an amazingly cheap ticket to get us where we needed to go but the flight plan was horrific… Bali to China, to Hong Kong to Dubai. I literally flew up and down I mean what was I thinking, those were one of those I feel terrible moments because I should’ve put my kids through that even though we all survived it. Let’s just say next time no cutting corners!! I’m  paying the full price and taking the fastest route. Even though I was in China for such a short time they were giving me so many problems just to do a transit and that’s when I had my mommy break down. Immigration there was asking me for all sorts of things for no reason why does this passport have this name, why does this passport have this name, obviously I’n married mr. Immigration… Maiden name, married name! I was just so happy that they gave us our quick 24 hour transit and I could get out of there. It’s already hard enough that I was doing an Israelite journey &  I didn’t need any crap from any immigration officer’s.

When I think of everything as a whole I just think wow 😳  there can be a price to pay to make it to Paradise… But, I guess it’s all part of the journey but let me tell you something if I ever do any type of trip like that again there’s absolutely NO WAY I’m doing it alone without papa bear point blank period!!

 

Preparing for two while there’s one……🌸It’s a girl🌸

Two years into being a mommy to my best buddy in the world my son Jaden. Papa Bear & I are expecting once again. 

🌸IT’S A GIRL🌸 !!! 

Wow! I can’t even believe this is happening. So many emotions. Is this real? Can I handle two kids? I’m still learning with Jaden & now we’re throwing in another whole child… just wow. 

The journey has been tough but magical at the same time. The beginning was very rough. Finding out I was pregnant again happened with my big sister Geraldine via FaceTime. I told her “my period hasn’t shown up yet & I have a test upstairs but it’s old” … “Go and get it and go buy another one so we can double check” She said. “OK” (20/30 min later) CONFIRMED! I am indeed pregnant. My sister was so excited and I kept on saying “oh my gosh, what do I do. Should I tell papa bear now or later.” Eventually I told him with giggles which he didn’t find funny at all but me laughing was the only way I could cope and tell him. His own emotions were all over the place. Initially he wasn’t in the best mood because he said “are we ready again?” And all I could say was “I don’t know”! 

Needless to say the next few weeks were very intense and confusing for both of us. I don’t believe in abortions but it was also so early that the fetus is barely formed. I went to the doctor to know my options and again abortion was brought up but also time had gone by going from when I found out to “you’re six weeks in” after a lot of prayer and faith – WE DEFINITELY MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. We are having the baby because God makes no mistakes. 

(Fast forward) all is well, baby girl is growing, emotions are up and down. My first trimester was a hot mess just like with Jaden. Sick like a dog, a lot of crying – not being able to brush my teeth without gagging and just praying I make to the second trimester where I can finally be happy and eat my life away. FINALLY … I get there. 

Trimester two. Bring out the credit card. Baby shopping, ordering this and that. “Oh this is cute and this and this” such a difference shopping for boys and girls. I love all the shorts and polos for my son but seeing the mini swimwear and dresses after paying attention to them got me looking forward to finally meeting this baby girl. I never paid attention to anything girl ever but now my eyes are literally moving at a 50-50 pace because I’m thinking “what can I get for her and what can I get for Jaden” it’s actually fun but it’s also breaking our wallets more 😅 

Now, since I know there’s an new baby on the way, the biggest task is getting Jaden to understand what is going on. As my bump gets bigger I also try to tell him “baby baby” “kiss baby” “baby sister” some days he’ll kiss the belly and some days he’ll smack the belly. I don’t know if he gets it but he’s been more clingy than ever and he’s noticed little baby toys around the house all of sudden. He knows he’s too big for the toys because he’s advanced. They are still appealing for him but when he tries to throw the “crawling ball” and I say no no! He’s confused in why is mommy telling me to roll this ball and not throw it. Children are very smart. I just know his vibes feel that something is coming. 

As a mom to be of two my goal is to split myself in half! I don’t even know how I’ll deal with it and of course I’ll blog about this experience when baby girl arrives. I just want to be amazing to both of them but Jaden is my best friend, my go to, my play buddy – how am I suppose to do this with two kids. I’ve asked mother’s of two and they said they felt the same way but once the second arrives everything just fell into perfect place and everyone is happy so I pray it’s the same for me. I’ll be so devastated if my little guy feels a certain way about his baby sister or if he feels neglected. I already know when she’s born – he’s taking a full week off school to see her every second and I can spend time with them both. Luckily newborns don’t do much but feed & sleep but even then I need Jaden to see that she’s here to stay. I’ve seen him with other babies and he’s done great so I don’t doubt he’ll love his sister and they’ll be best buddies forever especially as she gets older. Jokingly I’m prepared for his slaps because when he sees her on my breasts which once belonged just to him, he might put up a fight 😂  besides the general talks of what’s on the way, I’ve also tried to get him to understand with pictures and stories. I ordered him a personalized big brother book which hopefully will help also. His name and face are in it and it describes all the responsibility a big brother has! I love online. You can find everything. He’s had personalized books in the past and he learned very fast from them. 

The final countdown has begun. Less than a month to go and my big boy toddler love of my life Jaden will no longer be a single child. He’s had a great time. He’s always going to be my best buddy and I believe this is such a great experience not just for him but for papa bear and I. Our family is expanding. We’ve been married for one year & I see the future being bright.

I thank God for everything & I pray I get continued strength to keep being a better mom to my children. It really takes a village to raise a child and I’m thankful for the advice and help I’ve got along the way but I’m very proud of myself because I went from knowing nothing to mothering two & seeing how well my son is growing and learning before my eyes, I’ve been doing something right. 

Cheers to the next chapter 🥂 

Airplane tears. (Another real story)

Recently I had made the transition from West Africa to Atlanta via London. It was one of my worst flights to date I have ever been on, why? Because for the first time, I got food poisoning. Such an awful thing.

Half way through the first flight which happened to be an evening flight , Jaden was sleeping, I woke up from my own sleep feeling terrible. I felt so weak and all I could do was reach for the paper bag in front of our seat pockets and throw up inside…. not once, not twice but at least 7 times. The flight couldn’t end fast enough.

As we finally reached London, I was hit with the coldest weather I had felt since the beginning of the year. It was freezing. I felt so bad for my baby but luckily I came fully prepared for him as I should have but for myself not so lucky lol not only was I sick, I could hardly walk and I definitely wasn’t dressed warmed enough. We had the longest lay over about 7 hours and I didn’t have strength to be sick in a busy airport not know which minute I had to throw or something else so I filled out the landing card got out of the airport and luckily found a hotel in the airport that I checked myself into. . . It was the right decision.

Once we got in all I wanted to do was sleep but of course my little guy had other plans. He wanted to play and crawl all over the place, I didn’t blame him though he got enough rest as it is. I managed to get word party going but he wasn’t very interested so I just grabbed him in the bed with me and switched off all the lights hoping he’ll knock out again … NOPE. He was making all these noises knew I wasn’t getting anywhere so I decided to give him a long bubble bath which finally worked and I could finally get the much needed sleep and recovery I needed.

Fast forward to the next flight, I thought I was feeling better unfortunately I wasn’t. The captain asked me so many question if I was fit to fly but I played it off well because I just wanted to get to Atlanta. As we took off, Jaden had all the energy in the world because this unlike the last flight was an afternoon flight. I was feeling so weak I couldn’t really hold him and play with him like I do and like he loves and I think he noticed because he became so fussy. As the hours kept going by all I wanted to do was sleep and rest. No food, no drink, no walking around just sleep but my little man just didn’t want to.

About 5th-6th hour in Jaden decided to be THAT child that everyone is praying is not on the flight, THE CRY BABY! This was a first for me. He’s usually well-behaved and hardly makes a sound & he’s flown long haul flights before but this one was a different story. For two hours straight he cried & cried! Nothing I was doing was helping. His lungs kept going, his pitch kept getting higher & I felt like I was in a nightmare dream. “Please stop crying” “what do you want & need” but his little face kept going and going. Even with the fraction of energy I had I stood up briefly and he would stop but the minute I sat down he started again but I just couldn’t hold him up long.

It got to the point where I called the flight attendants and asked them to “please take my son, take him so I can sleep, 30 min” I couldn’t do it. I was about to lose my head. THANKFULLY they had spare time to help me out not just once but twice. I now know where that expression heaven-sent comes from. I just needed him off my hands and on that desperate time they came. I was so overwhelmed I believe I even cried for a moment because I was so relieved.

I remember while sleeping they tapped on my feet and I saw Jaden smiling. When they gave him back he wasn’t as fussy and would also close his own eyes briefly. There was a point where he did start-up again & two passengers helped me out. One took Jaden for an isle stroll for about 10 minutes up and down and another from his seat was silently waving to him and because of the interaction, Jaden couldn’t help but wave back over and over very soft and calmly and next thing you know he fell into a deep sleep and I followed. When I woke up at last my little guy was fully knocked out bout 1hr30 left till landing. I glanced to the passenger on the other side and said “Thank you” he smiled back.

Once we landed, I was so happy. It was the longest flight I ever took but only because I wasn’t feeling too great. Jaden was back to his normal self and it’s another first time experience that is one for the books.

The end.
On a side note:

Being a helpful stranger to a mother or any parent can be the most simple reward you can give a parent. If you ever see someone struggling even if it’s just a short while, give them a helping hand like those who helped me out. You’re doing us a kind favor and we are so grateful for it.