Dear Mommy, these are for you.

I want to take a moment out to thank everybody who takes their own personal time to read or engage in my blog whether it’s new to you or old. You are appreciated.

I did want to remind you that my first affirmation book (Dear Mommy, these are for you) is available on Amazon paperback and kindle and if you don’t have access you can also visit OkadaBooks.com

Please support my book. It is a collection of affirmations that can uplift any mother at any given time, if you are a mom, know a mom, or simply want to share words of encouragement with anyone you know. Please buy or download this book.

It’s available Internationally as well via the Amazon of your choice.

Check it out & enjoy.

Links for the U.S.A, U.K and Okadabooks below

https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Mommy-These-are-you/dp/B09ZCVYQNQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?crid=1M9AJKPHFJAG&keywords=dear+mommy+these+are+for+you&qid=1654453222&sprefix=dear+monmy+these+a%2Caps%2C638&sr=8-1

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Dear-Mommy-These-are-you-ebook/dp/B09ZH2BSFQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=meredine+akerele&qid=1654453281&sr=8-1

https://okadabooks.com/search?query=Dear%2520mommy%2520

The White Wall

My children have both learned to have a new found love of coloring and they both do it so well for their ages. They stay in the lines and play with colors, I love to see it.

When I was away for one my work assignments, because of my anxieties I decided to buy an adult coloring book (they are fun but lost importantly relaxing) they really do calm me down at times I feel away and alone from my family and it’s also an accomplishment seeing your fully finished work. I have the most intricate book.

Anyways, when I got back home, my children saw it and of course they wanted it all to themselves. First I was hesitant, because I just wanted the book for myself and my other assignments in the future but then I figured “nah” let them have it and enjoy the ocean patterns and animals, I can always get a new one later.

They really do love that book, as detailed as it is, they figured a way to color it in their own way without getting caught up in the small spaces. They’ll run to me when they have done one page each “mommy, look” I’m amazed. I love it & thinking to myself 💭 these children of mine are smart because I could spend hours on one section and look at them! Done in twenty minutes lol

Their masterpiece.
Mr. Puffin

The White Wall. . . What exactly am I talking about – well, we all have a white painted wall somewhere in the house/apt right! Did you ever think of how children look at a white wall? It’s a big piece of white paper! & what do children do on paper, they draw and color on it.

My daughter has marked her territory on these walls. I have cleaned it up time and time again, but her mind goes back to the drawing board. I tell her “please don’t write or draw on anything,” she’ll agree until I see the next mark where it’s big suppose to be 😩 my son doesn’t get a pass either! I’ve seen his work too.

I’ve decided to leave this matter alone not because I’m giving in but because of the creative perspective! My only rule is that ONLY in their room. What if he/she is going to be the next biggest painter, or a architect the world has ever seen.

Now c’mon I’m not silly… I will NOT tell them, only in their room is where they can get creative (never, lol that’s a set up) but, it means for me, I won’t get as upset as I used to because I’m looking at it all in a different perspective. . .

Am I wrong?

What are your thoughts about this, do you let your own children be creatively free or is there a limit?

After all, walls can always be painted again. I’m not bothered right now and I’ve cleaned up worse mess than you can imagine.

I’m not say it a free for all draw on the walls either, but I need to save my voice box parents, it’s already raspy enough 😅

The social media break! (The most necessary)

At the moment I am currently on a social media break and let me tell you, I never knew how much I needed this!

We don’t realize how consumed we get by online and the bs it comes with. At times, we see the good & at times without a choice we see the bad but both are still embedded reads in our subconscious.

I know how many hours I can shamelessly be on an app scrolling none stop. One day, I woke up and simply had ENOUGH! I deleted them all. The break I needed.

I have been happily in my own motherhood/wife life/self love and getting closer to God world for almost two weeks.

I have more time to pay attention and stay focused on many things. It’s amazing how much focus you can put towards something when you are simply not distracted.

Remember that book of mine that was suppose to be released last year “Dear mommy, these are for you.” Well, I FINALLY made time to correct and finish it (Amazon approved finished) I took the time to make sure it was right, whereas before I would see one “error” close the tab and never looked back till I felt like it, just wow! (Clap for me)

Social media is dangerous, dangerous in the fact that it can drive us away from so much. Scrolling so much, you forget to eat or (I’m the queen of this lol) take pictures and boomerang’s of our meals before we eat them.

Even time with my children. I am Mrs. Do the most with my kids especially when we travel but sometimes at home, I can be in myself not engaging fully to what my children are doing because… (I’m sure you know the answer,) MY PHONE. I’ve had time. Whether their stories are gibberish or not lol, whether it’s their interactive play, or anything they want to do, I just have time for it.

Books! I will be the first to admit, I’m not the fastest reader in the world, but I do enjoy a good book. Since this social media break, I’ve read four books! I mean… me! Before, never. I’m on the quest to find out what kind of book reader I am. Fiction/non-fiction and it’s just a fun bit of discovery for me.

Without me going on and on about this, the bottom line is, FOR EVERYONE… take the social media breaks. Delete the apps! They are not going anywhere and for ourselves, it is necessary for our mind/soul/conscious!

I am not saying I won’t go back, I absolutely will and continue to be myself on there as I always do, but I have now trained my mind to not be addicted to things that have nothing to do with me online (blogs/stories/images) I’ve just tuned it all off and I pray for myself that I can really keep this up. (I will try, but it’s not easy)

If I can pull these breaks off monthly or every two months, I think I can find a better balance than be a “phone zombie.”

Try it for yourself, even if for two days. You’ll love it for yourself and your family or with whatever it is that you need to focus on.

I take it seriously because above everything else, I always put God first. I say it all the time, but sometimes, I might not put it into practice. This social break has got me closer to God once again and I am in love with myself for that because God can do many amazing things and most importantly bring blessings and much needed peace and rest. These are the things I seek in life (not religiously) spiritually.

Remember, online is truly a blur of “fake.” I’m not saying people don’t post their real lives & these stories whether positive or negative are not true, but most of it doesn’t help us. Sadly, many people strive to be what they see and hear online whether they want to believe it or not. Let us try and be aware of these things so online and offline can be a safer place for us.

Troublesome Four… 😒

Towards the end of last year and the beginning of this year, I have noticed a huge shift with both of my children. They are both maturing, their mouths are moving more than ever. Their learning is improving, it’s a wonderful thing to see.

What I’ve noticed the most is their attitudes. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but they both seem to be more moody and more opinionated than ever before. I feel like this is a very vital time in parenthood. I really don’t like whiners, and my son always seems to whine rather than just ask for something directly. As this is his behavior, it trickles down to his younger sister and then she also starts whining for things. I just can’t stand it!

My disciplined radar is higher than ever, and I’m not trying to be the grinch in the house, but if I don’t take it away from them now it’s just going to get worse.

My daughter is so demanding and in my head I’m thinking, what exactly do you know about “this and that.” It can be from a simple task to picking up toys or to picking out her clothes. I’m happy to have her pick out what she wants to wear, but sometimes clothing that she chooses is not appropriate because I know it’s for a certain event or I know it will get dirty, so when I say she cannot wear it, rather than her just saying ”Ok mommy” and moving on to choosing the next thing, she decides she wants to have a huge toddler tantrum about it. That’s where I draw the line. I always have to remind her that “I am the mother” and she has to listen to me and she can’t always get her way.

Things never used to be like this, and it’s making me think if all parents go through this phase 🤔 I don’t remember hearing about it.… PLEASE, SHARE YOUR STORIES WITH ME!!!!

At this stage of my children’s ages, they listen and hear every single thing anybody says. It’s so important for me to say the right things and do the right things while also teaching them valuable lessons.

The truth is, I am kind of struggling. This is a new change I was NOT prepared for just yet, but I will certainly figure it out.

“It takes a village” is making more sense to me as my children get older and as I observe them.

Stay tuned.

Four Years Of Motherhood 🎈

My big boy Jaden is about to be FOUR years old this Saturday!!! I’m literally going to be raising a four year old boy! Wow. Four years of motherhood! Four years of amazing memories. Four years of amazing growth, such a beautiful experience. Being a mommy to Jaden is the best thing on this earth! I wouldn’t change it for anything.

As I get older I realize this was always my path because I love being a mommy but as time goes by, I’ve found balance and I can accomplish everything I want to while still being a mommy. Of course there are sacrifices at times but it’s short lived! What’s important is that my kids know I love them unconditionally and that I’ll go above and beyond for them. Everything that I thought I couldn’t accomplish before or fell a part, are now coming together and it’s all God’s timing because maybe before I wasn’t ready or maybe I needed a different kind of motivation which I get from my children.

Life is what you make it and you have to enjoy the moments you can, create new memories daily and learn to be better each day.

I am so proud of my boy! Four years old! Smart, talkative, learning how to read (I just found out yesterday while we are doing night time stories) He’s asking questions, he tells me stories and sings songs and his brain is so creative! The list goes on and on. I am so blessed to be his mother! He’s a great big brother, who takes care of his sister and teaches her (good and sometimes naughty things lol) but their bond is unbreakable. I’m loving the little big boy he’s becoming and I know he’ll continue to do amazing things with God on his side and US.

Cheers to Papa bear and myself!

Preparing for two while there’s one……🌸It’s a girl🌸

Two years into being a mommy to my best buddy in the world my son Jaden. Papa Bear & I are expecting once again. 

🌸IT’S A GIRL🌸 !!! 

Wow! I can’t even believe this is happening. So many emotions. Is this real? Can I handle two kids? I’m still learning with Jaden & now we’re throwing in another whole child… just wow. 

The journey has been tough but magical at the same time. The beginning was very rough. Finding out I was pregnant again happened with my big sister Geraldine via FaceTime. I told her “my period hasn’t shown up yet & I have a test upstairs but it’s old” … “Go and get it and go buy another one so we can double check” She said. “OK” (20/30 min later) CONFIRMED! I am indeed pregnant. My sister was so excited and I kept on saying “oh my gosh, what do I do. Should I tell papa bear now or later.” Eventually I told him with giggles which he didn’t find funny at all but me laughing was the only way I could cope and tell him. His own emotions were all over the place. Initially he wasn’t in the best mood because he said “are we ready again?” And all I could say was “I don’t know”! 

Needless to say the next few weeks were very intense and confusing for both of us. I don’t believe in abortions but it was also so early that the fetus is barely formed. I went to the doctor to know my options and again abortion was brought up but also time had gone by going from when I found out to “you’re six weeks in” after a lot of prayer and faith – WE DEFINITELY MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. We are having the baby because God makes no mistakes. 

(Fast forward) all is well, baby girl is growing, emotions are up and down. My first trimester was a hot mess just like with Jaden. Sick like a dog, a lot of crying – not being able to brush my teeth without gagging and just praying I make to the second trimester where I can finally be happy and eat my life away. FINALLY … I get there. 

Trimester two. Bring out the credit card. Baby shopping, ordering this and that. “Oh this is cute and this and this” such a difference shopping for boys and girls. I love all the shorts and polos for my son but seeing the mini swimwear and dresses after paying attention to them got me looking forward to finally meeting this baby girl. I never paid attention to anything girl ever but now my eyes are literally moving at a 50-50 pace because I’m thinking “what can I get for her and what can I get for Jaden” it’s actually fun but it’s also breaking our wallets more 😅 

Now, since I know there’s an new baby on the way, the biggest task is getting Jaden to understand what is going on. As my bump gets bigger I also try to tell him “baby baby” “kiss baby” “baby sister” some days he’ll kiss the belly and some days he’ll smack the belly. I don’t know if he gets it but he’s been more clingy than ever and he’s noticed little baby toys around the house all of sudden. He knows he’s too big for the toys because he’s advanced. They are still appealing for him but when he tries to throw the “crawling ball” and I say no no! He’s confused in why is mommy telling me to roll this ball and not throw it. Children are very smart. I just know his vibes feel that something is coming. 

As a mom to be of two my goal is to split myself in half! I don’t even know how I’ll deal with it and of course I’ll blog about this experience when baby girl arrives. I just want to be amazing to both of them but Jaden is my best friend, my go to, my play buddy – how am I suppose to do this with two kids. I’ve asked mother’s of two and they said they felt the same way but once the second arrives everything just fell into perfect place and everyone is happy so I pray it’s the same for me. I’ll be so devastated if my little guy feels a certain way about his baby sister or if he feels neglected. I already know when she’s born – he’s taking a full week off school to see her every second and I can spend time with them both. Luckily newborns don’t do much but feed & sleep but even then I need Jaden to see that she’s here to stay. I’ve seen him with other babies and he’s done great so I don’t doubt he’ll love his sister and they’ll be best buddies forever especially as she gets older. Jokingly I’m prepared for his slaps because when he sees her on my breasts which once belonged just to him, he might put up a fight 😂  besides the general talks of what’s on the way, I’ve also tried to get him to understand with pictures and stories. I ordered him a personalized big brother book which hopefully will help also. His name and face are in it and it describes all the responsibility a big brother has! I love online. You can find everything. He’s had personalized books in the past and he learned very fast from them. 

The final countdown has begun. Less than a month to go and my big boy toddler love of my life Jaden will no longer be a single child. He’s had a great time. He’s always going to be my best buddy and I believe this is such a great experience not just for him but for papa bear and I. Our family is expanding. We’ve been married for one year & I see the future being bright.

I thank God for everything & I pray I get continued strength to keep being a better mom to my children. It really takes a village to raise a child and I’m thankful for the advice and help I’ve got along the way but I’m very proud of myself because I went from knowing nothing to mothering two & seeing how well my son is growing and learning before my eyes, I’ve been doing something right. 

Cheers to the next chapter 🥂 

Jaden is Two 🎉 I threw the birthday party at home & I survived!!!

My baby boy toddler is finally two years old! I thank God for his life. 

Seeing as we just had a fantastic family vacation in Florida, I didn’t feel the need to rent anywhere for a celebration with friends and family so I decided to through the party at our home… oh my gosh! The stress, the panic. 

You never really know what you’re getting into until you have to get all the details together… from the cake to the drinks and food & don’t forget the cooler and Ice & the decorations and make sure there’s enough this and that & some of that 😅

This party wasn’t just for one but for two amazing boys, my son and my close friend Adeline’s son also – Jaden turned 2 & Johnny turned 5 – The theme of the party was Pj Masks, so you can image how the superhero kids filled the house. I’m so thankful that it’s a hit Disney cartoon show because finding decorations was a breeze, setting up the decorations, that was a lot. 

You don’t think you have a lot until you have to tape everything up and some of it falls off + I have an excited toddler wanting to touch everything. Placement is key. Children’s corner, adult corner, what toys are appropriate and safe for all the kids (parenting tip – remove all the small stuff and keep all the big stuff and puzzles) that’s what I did plus we had some fun fun balls, a basketball hoop and of course the hit of the party the “little tikes” slide. 

When guests started arriving we had enough of everything & I was so happy to see how all the kids had such a great time right away, after all it is for them. The kiddie table had delicious snacks and fruit so there definitely no worries over there. Music was playing & it definitely has the kids on there feet 😬

It’s funny when you have to throw something, the time just flys ✈️ by. I honestly didn’t think I’d make it in time because one minute it’s Monday and boom it’s PARTY DAY!! But I survived, I made it through & everything was a huge success! 

My son got some wonderful toys which he enjoyed the next day and still does & with all that I did to set up, cleaning up wasn’t half bad. My mom taught me at a young age, clean up right away because the next day you can relax!!! IT’S THE TRUTH! I woke up and all I had to deal with was extra food – which wasn’t an issue because we just ate it up throughout the day.

Parents are really super hero’s in disguise!!! Kudos to all of us 😉 although they might not acknowledge it right away, are children are so thankful for these moments we create for them. 

 

Interest 2.0

Time has gone by, my little man has developed a new love for new things. Of course this is normal and it’s interesting to see from a mom point of few.

It used to be all about “Word Party” & flip books but then it became about cars, and trains and animals! Ah ha – there’s the boy in you. He loves his cars and does he loves his trains, it all started because I let him watch a show called “Chuggington” and that somehow translated into “Mickey and the roadster racers” now he can’t get enough. If I buy him toys there usually in the category and I just love how happy he gets like “how is this cartoon character in my playroom” being a toddler must be awesome.

Parents let your children guide you into what they are interested in. Don’t force it because they know what they like. Can it become annoying? ABSOLUTELY! Who wants to watch the same show over and over but there are perks to it! Learning.

When we watch certain shows I hear him singing along and it makes me so happy.

Don’t get me wrong we still read a lot too and the best part about that is he’s involved. He loves hearing different character voices and if he seems animals or anything he knows the words to, he’ll say them out loud!!! YES (my home training worked and school is working too)

There’s  nothing like the development of your child. Remember when it was “oh his neck is up” “he’s crawling” “he’s walking” now it’s about “Wow, when did you learn that word” or “When did you learn that move” 🙂 I’m a very happy and proud mommy.

When your child knows familiarity, that’s when they explore the best. You might have taken your child to the zoo at 1, try again at 2 and again and again as time goes by and you’ll see how much more amazing it is because they actually know the sounds of the animals let alone what they are. This goes for everything learning. Have fun with, enjoy the moment and enjoy your smart toddler in the growing.

It’s a hard KNOCK life

My little guys development has been excellent. I’m so proud of his learning skills. He recognizing so many things. He loves to talk and say words we have learned together which is amazing BUT sometimes I’m worried they’ll all go away (God forbid) – why do I say this?! HEAD BANGING 😩😔

I have no idea where this nonsense started from but it’s now the absolute worst! I haven’t spoken to his doctor about it yet because I’ve been analyzing the behavior on my own.

I’ve noticed he does it when he doesn’t get his way. When he’s voicing out his frustration without words. When I leave the room or rather when I shut the door and he can’t come in. Achhh it’s awful “bang bang bang” against the wall! I try my best not to lose my temper but it’s almost impossible. Why would I want my baby boy knocking his head… a simple “Stop Jaden, that’s enough” is never enough. I literally have to bring out his behavior stick and he realizes that’s a No no! Discipline is very important in our home, heck I grew up with it from my mother and I turned our decent lol so I’m not going to bend for my son either (ps. We are Africans and that’s what we do so get the judgemental thoughts out of your mind right now)

anyways… I did some research online and just like my observation it’s a tantrum thing. Some of the deeper reasons were linked to development disorders but I definitely don’t believe it’s  that because My son is a happy kid thus far (learning, interacting, talking, not shy) etc  regardless this behavior HAS to stop and I’ll do whatever it takes.

I will bring it up with his doctor  the next time we are in the office but I just pray it’s an annoying faze that will go away soon.

Have any of you parents experienced this nightmare? Please share & your methods.

What to read… 📚

My son is only 1 year and 3 months and he’s already taken interest in books! I’m so happy about this. Reading is so important because it expands the mind and the earlier the better.

When my son is ready for reading time, he’ll go to his book area choose his desired choice and bring it to me. He’ll make a small noise “ehhh” which means in his toddler language “read to me” and I do without hesitation. I love the fact that he’s attentive and he enjoyed turning the pages on his own. He’s even started recognizing shapes or animals or things I might say and he’ll follow with an action for example “where are babies hands?” And he’ll start clapping 🙂

Here are a list of books I recommend that my son loves.

– “Where is babies belly button” (flap book) *His favorite*
– Sing and Squeak bath book (sound book)
– Good morning, Good night (a touch and feel bedtime book) *His second favorite*
– My favorite nursery rhymes box set (4 books)
– Baby’s first book of prayers *My favorite*

His flap book is his favorite because he loves lifting the pages and I’ve recently ordered a few more by the author Karen Katz. Definitely look into. My son’s first prayer book is great because it’s a compilation of lovely prayers which rhyme. He actually enjoys when I read them to him and he’s getting blessed at the same time so I’m all for it. The pages consist of pictures too so I also point and teach him different things which he remembers more and more.

Knowledge is power and the earlier we get these children on the right path the better. I’m all for the tv cartoons as I’ve mentioned before in one of my previous blogs but don’t miss the signs parents. If your child brings you the book, read it and if they want you to read it again, do it, period. My son likes to hear and see the pages turn several times before he’s done and I don’t rush him. I’m excited to order new books for him every so often and you should as well mom and dad.

Cheers to happy reading 📚

 

Walking?! You mean RUNNING…

Now that my son has turned 1 years old, papa bear and I have stepped into a whole new world of craziness.

It’s exciting to see your child take their first steps from the beginning but once they start walking properly THERE’s NO SLOWING DOWN.

My son walks so fast, he bumps into things and he doesn’t know how to stop when he’s all excited and ready to play. He follows us around like a bee to a flower. Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy because he’s doing what any one year old should be doing but it’s actually unbelievable.

In my opinion, the pros of your child walking mean that you don’t have to carry them everywhere (sometimes I forget, then I’m like “oh yeah”) it’s all great because you get to see how they use walking to climb and reach things. My son has a fisher price bike and the other day I caught him riding it and then standing on it… for the toddlers themselves per usual, they enjoy exploring everything. Knowing that your child is walking also means their skills are evolving and from the teeny baby that they were 1 year before I almost can’t believe it. With the waking comes the talking and so on and so forth.

Although as parents we know that the toddler “exploration” is part of what we have to go throug, this can also be a con.

My son is in more places he shouldn’t than ever before 😫 I need to invest in double protection just keep him safe. It’s a lot of work, double the work with a walking child. Going out in public is hard too especially when he’s ready to roam about. I’m quite open to him running around because I keep my eyes on him constantly, But chasing him back-and-forth that’s totally exhausting! And it’s also annoying because sometimes when he doesn’t feel like walking, he begins to crawl and we are in public so some places are not for a child’s hands.

I am happy that my son has reached his toddler ways, but I’m definitely looking forward to when I can tell him to stop, sit down or even stay and he will completely understand. That will be soon enough because I talk to my son with a normal voice, I don’t do the baby talk and he definitely understands me when I tell him certain things like go and come and of course other words so in time he will understand the concept of stay and sit still and don’t move.

As this year unfolds, I know there are so many things to look forward to and as every day passes by, more development is on the way for this toddler of mine.

I just wonder what is next but I am ready. So bring it on!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Milestone ONE

I did it! We did it. Papa bear and I made it one year as parents to our amazing son. What a journey it’s been. Just reflecting back to the hospital room waiting for little man J to arrive to now, wow!!!!

Our son is still smiling, dancing, no longer eating his baby food but table food & he is walking. Having all this happen right before my eyes is amazing. He knows how to copy everything I do with one look, he knows how to clap and find his little nose and even put his hands up in the air. It’s so many different things I’m just thankful I’m doing a good job. (Yes! I will pat myself of the back) motherhood is no small task.

This has been one heck of a year and I look forward to Jaden’s greater development as time continues on. In no time sentences will be forming and I look forward to having mother and son conversations. I’ve got his learning flash card all ready. This is the sponge stage after all and it’s important to take full advantage of that whether its learning new words, numbers or even languages.

To think my baby boy is no longer a baby but a toddler!!!! (Of course, he’ll always be my baby 🙂

Quick advice I have for new “newborn” mothers & fathers just as I once was a year ago:

– DON’T FREAK OUT! You got this MOM and you can do it DAD. Enjoy the experience and enjoy your baby because they really do grow up fast. Since my son has started walking everything has become more challenging already because he’s more curious than ever and he doesn’t know how to walk slow but is ready to take off like Usain Bolt every minute 😅

– As I’ve said in some of my earlier blogs, it takes time to get your “groove” back but it will come. As mothers, our bodies might change but that doesn’t mean you should love your body less.
– Rekindle the love. This might take time because your newborn baby takes up all the time you have and you might not feel attractive which happens often in the beginning but don’t worry, eventually you will get routinely great at things and you and your partner will be able to spend quality time together once again (very important)
– Lastly, let your baby do them. Don’t compare your child’s development to another. Every single child is different & you will run yourself mad if you start wondering “why this child is doing that and my child is not.” Let them take their milestones when they are ready and you’ll be so excited seeing their first laugh, tooth, crawl, walk etc.

I thank God for giving me more patience, learning and understanding more than I have ever had in my life. I thank God for Jaden’s amazing father for being supportive 24/7 and of course I thank Him for our son Jaden. This little boy has brought so much pride and joy not only to us but to so many others who he has made smile from friends, family and strangers.

Motherhood is amazing and I wouldn’t give it up for anything ❤️