In less than 24 hrs

The family is back in America! The kids are back from Ghana after one year. There were so many tears leaving to the airport from their Nanny and I’m sure their Nana. I say I’m sure because I didn’t see her cry but I just know she did. She’s been with her grandkids for a whole year. Her home went from a loud/loving cheerful kid zone to a quiet zone. No kids in sight… I told her not to be sad because it’s only temporary & she has so much going on it, time will fly and she’ll see her babies again.

As for me….

It’s time for me to mommy again! Between the flying with the kids (which they did great by the way… no crying, a little restlessness but only at the very end) I also flew with Papa bear so that made things a little bit easier… Immigration said nothing at all which was surprising because they have been away so long… They both had a look of excitement but also a tiny bit of sadness. They’ve been in Ghana and around certain people for months and now they’re back to a different environment with certain memories they may or may not remember.

We’ve moved yet again so they hadn’t even seen anything around us & surprisingly, my son kept on talking about our previous place and I kept on telling him that we don’t live there anymore. My daughter doesn’t understand the concept of destination yet but I know she absolutely misses her Nana.

Seeing my kids in our new place so surreal. Now our place is the loud & happy zone. There are toys everywhere, I’m cleaning up after them and doing all the things that a mother should do. It’s natural instinct for me so I know exactly what I’m doing but I’m also thinking to myself, wow this is so much work and I can’t believe I used to do this before on my own.

The biggest difference is the fact that now my children are older which means, I have to deal with two different characters, two different emotions and two different needs at the same time. It can be very demanding and they don’t understand that I need them to patient with me and each other. I’m convinced that I hear my name “mom” 100 times a day if not more.

I’m so happy to have my children back in our home but I would by lying if I said it’s been a “walk in the park.” I just have to keep remembering why I took a back step, to be with my children! To make the lasting memories in their heads which my father/their grandfather told me. It’s about what they remember while they are growing up and they won’t forget you being and doing many things for them. This actually make perfect sense because memories last but time does not.

Our routine starts once again and I’ll keep you updated along the way.

Big girl Jada 💞

The other day I got a message in my what’s app from my nanny. She said “I have a surprise for you.” I couldn’t guess what it was at all so I basically said tell me, with anticipation. It was a video of my sweet baby girl Jada writing ✍️!!!!!!!! I was in shock. It was a beautiful surprise to see.

I honestly couldn’t believe my eyes. She was holding the pencil perfectly, her other hand was placed on her workbook so it wouldn’t slide and she could trace her big and small letter (E,e’s).

Child development really happens in such a short period of time and the most important factor is her watching and learning mentally before going about it by herself! This is amazing. Jaden gets a lot of workbook tracing letter activities and when I do homework with him, she always said, “where is my own” which sometimes I had and sometimes I didn’t. She has been mentally preparing for this moment and she reached her own personal achievement when she finally got the chance, isn’t that just beautiful.

I am extremely proud of both of my children. They learn an incredible amount from each other as I would imagine. My son has now turned 5 and he just started picking up his writing skills towards the end of his four year old era! I would be lying if I didn’t say to myself “when will he start” but the minute school opened back up (another blog for another day) he picked it up and a few short weeks! I was just as happy for him as I am for my daughter and children develops skills at different times, the only difference is that she has started at the end of her 2 year old era on the way to age 3.

I end this blog by saying, let your children pick skills up without pressure. The new mom always wants to say “why is my child not doing this yet.” The veteran mom says “they WILL get it” and guess what, they do & you’ll be so proud of those moments when they do come about.

Uncomfortable encounter.

As a black woman with a black husband and son, I am no stranger to what could possibly go on if we get stopped by the police. I know everyone has their own different opinions but I go by what I see not by what I hear.

Not too long ago in Ghana I got pulled over for no reason, I provided my drivers license and those idiots said “you don’t have an international permit.” So long story short, they took my license away. I wasn’t too bothered because it was about to expire and in one week I knew I could get a brand new one in the United States.

The only reason I hated the encounter was because in the midst of me having a missing document the police officer said “I have to arrest you.” I said “I’m not going anywhere and don’t you EVER speak to me like that in front of my children.” Once I said this, the officers eyes go big, he stretched his neck and saw both my children in the back and because of what he said, my son started crying. I was so pissed off!!!! Eventually they let me go and I left.

I couldn’t help but think about this encounter and how different it would have been if my children and I were in America.

Moving forward, I am back in the USA and just four days ago, I was driving my car. Nothing wrong, no speeding – nothing wrong at all but when I looked in my rear view mirror, who was behind me. The police. They were just there. We were both waiting for the light to change but the most eerie feeling came over my body. I was so nervous, my anxiety kicked in and my heart started pounding, literally pounding – I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and then I said out loud to myself “This is so sad, so so so sad.” The light turned green and we both went our own way.

I honestly couldn’t believe how scared I was seeing the police behind me and I did nothing. Isn’t that just the most awful thing. The police who we are suppose to make me feel protected rather put me in shock. I was genuinely sad for myself and I am a strong black woman. I can only imagine what others go through.

the point of me sharing is because there is a lot going on in our society, matter of fact, their always is but the bottom line is, people should be able to go through life with ease! & not this stress, I feel for many that are seen as minorities, we definitely have to move differently unfortunately weather we like it or not.

The other side of the table 🏥

I don’t usually share what I do … unless I decide to, but this is the exception.

I tech assisted in two C-sections (single baby & twins) a few days ago and I am still overcome with emotion. It was the most beautiful thing to see. I was doing what I do on one side, and I was witnessing life being born on the other side.

Giving birth whichever form is magical and I felt all the love and good energy in the OR. It’s funny being on the other side of the room not as mommy in labor, but part of the team who assists another mommy.

Truth be told when I saw the little beautiful babies, my eyes watered up and I absolutely got caught by everyone and they laughed and smiled. It might have been the “mom” in me, it might have been my passion or it might have just been the feeling I got when I had my own children but even though it wasn’t me lying down, I felt the same joy as the mothers and the adorable fathers.

I remember seeing my husbands face when the child is put on the baby bed for the first time, it’s this look of “wow, that’s my child, wow, look how little.” & to see that all over again in other husbands was still the same fuzzy feeling. They are always so proud.

Children are really a gift, I am very blessed to be able to do what I do especially with moments like this.

6 months later… (Post Covid – but not really)

I can’t believe we have gotten to a point, were wearing a mask seems normal.

I never thought I would get used to this, I don’t know if I like it. I don’t know if I have fully adjusted just yet. The thing is, life has to go on and there’s nothing we can do about that… But be extremely cautious and careful.

I have been living my life in Ghana, West Africa for six months. This is the longest I have ever been there. It was a blessing to be in a place like that during a time like this in the world because even though the virus did affect the area, they handled it well. They took care of the people and I never felt I wasn’t safe once.

My children have been happy, I have been happy and I even got the chance to go out a few times!! Can you believe that, in a time like this I was out with people and smiling, dancing and even having a few drinks, I miss doing things like that. It seems like once the fear is gone of something you can’t even see you just learn to adapt in some sort of way.

Now; I am finally back in the United States! The borders in Ghana were closed for such a long time and I lived that life. Suddenly, things were open again. Part of me never wanted to leave and face the reality of what I have to do but just like I said, I MUST.

A lot of people have been unemployed for months and one morning I woke up and I got a message from my recruiter and work was suddenly in my front… What a blessing. I don’t take it for granted but I also thought to myself, wow! Now I have to go back to work and do my contract mommy work stuff as I said in one of my posts before.

It’s a bittersweet feeling because I know I do this work for my beautiful children and for my family and even for myself but the bitter part was I decided to leave my children in Ghana because it was the right thing to do.

Why would I pull them away from that comfort and the sun and picking fruit off their Nana‘s tree, I wasn’t ready to do that to them and I wasn’t even ready for Papa bear to take on all that responsibility so soon even though we both miss them dearly.

The time will pass and all of our hard work is not in vain. This year has gone by so fast I can hardly remember each month but all I know is that soon, I will be back with my beautiful children and eventually we will all come back to the United States as a unit but until then I have to get my hustle on and I have to do things which I know I can do to make them comfortable when they do return.

It’s absolutely crazy that this virus is still living with us !!! where is this vaccine which I don’t even believe in? Will it ever come… Or is it just the media making us afraid for something that is to come more serious? Who knows. All I know is good things come on the other side of fear… So don’t be afraid and still achieve all the goals you need to achieve. We still have a few months left till 2021.

2020 has been very unpredictable and rocky year but don’t let that overcome you because 2020 has not defeated you or me or anyone and we can do this.

Covid-19 (Who the heck do you think you are!!!)

“The next ten is about to be the best ten.”

I would be interested to know how many of you said this. I know I did. I was so excited for the new decade. 2020! It was going to be a year extraordinary blessings for everyone on planet. I knew it was going to be the year where everyone reaches their personal goals and achievements, I just felt that kind of energy…

ha! I was wrong. A virus struck. Covid-19 (Corona virus) 😠 confusing everyone… it’s contagious, we’re scared, we’re learning about it through the television (which a is a terrible source in my opinion) it’s just a lot going on. “Schools will be closed.” Every parent in the world “HUH!?” “The borders will be closed.” Every single person in the world “HUH!?” What the heck is going on. More confusion, first we laugh, then we cry and then then they start tracing the #’s of this invisible virus and it’s increasing massively and people are now DYING!!!!!
Help, Help! “How can we help, when we’re just figuring it out too.” The whole word is a damn mess.

(FAST FORWARD)

Our children are at home with us every single day. What can I do as a mother to keep them entertained (my son hasn’t reached kindergarten just yet so there is no Zoom classes online like most the older students have in this pandemic. Do we read books? (yes) Do we practice writing? (yes) to we learn words? (yes) do we play games? (more than enough) But this system is on and on and on and on and day after day after day at one point things are just how they are… you’re living and surviving and just thanking God after all this time no one I care about has caught this thing!! So we stay grateful… but all in all this is crazy.

Children are so full of life, they love to do things and explore so it’s best to make the most out everything you have. Just because they are at home doesn’t mean they don’t have fun, and as time has passed and rules have relax there’s more flexibility.

I want to give shout out to all the teachers around the world! I’m sorry you don’t get paid more, you’re amazing.

(Fast forward)

As time has passed by, less confusion and more okay where is the cure… (Scientists scrambling for answers)

We understand the virus protocol. Hand sanitizers, wash your hands, WHERE YOUR MASK when you’re out. We are adjusting to this new life.

I honestly can’t believe this is the 2020 I an living in. I’m making it work and mind you, I am one of the citizen of America that is overseas, trapped. It’s been about 5 months. I’m not complaining though, I’m in Ghana. Yes the virus is here most definitely but I am safe in the home I’m in. I have help with my children and I don’t go out often unless It’s  for essentials or to see people which is just house hopping and it’s a tiny list. My business hasn’t done the best this year, but I know a lot of businesses have suffered too.

Everything is so uncertain. How can I spend money on products, when I don’t know when I’ll make money again… The bills haven’t stopped overseas but luckily, everyone understands what’s going on & work is just slow. Unemployment is by force & even my other job has been put on hold and the work that has come up is too risky!

I pray there is a big shift with Covid-19 eventually soon but in the meantime, we wait.

Everyone that has made it to this point individually or with their family. Clap for yourself because it CAN get exhausting.

I’m so thankful I’ve had my whole family together for the most part, and most importantly again – we are safe! So yes, Covid-19 has taken over but we stand! we will make it and overcome this.

A big shout out to all the doctors and nurses who work day and night to help fight this thing and a special shout out to all the parents who have been watching their kids day in an out. It’s such a hard job.

There’s been no “Me-time.” But it will get better. We’ve celebrated birthday’s during this time. We may get mad at times but we still laugh and smile.

No matter the situation always try and look at the glass half full and stay optimistic as much as you can. Everyone is facing their own problems but some are also facing it head on and making the most out of it. It doesn’t have to be a bad time, just be cautious, follow the rules and stay safe.

A Studio Dream 🎶

A lot of you may not know this but when I’m not mommy-ing and wife-ing and doing my entrepreneur work! I am an artist (singer) named Coco Benson. Music has been in my family before I was born and it definitely trickled down to me. To make a long story short, I most definitely was on a journey of a music career but it came to a stop! & then I stopped! Fast forward 4 years till now! I decided to start doing music again which I am so happy about and the new journey of it will be bigger and better than ever so stay tuned for that!

Here is where my blog title starts. The other day, I had a studio session and it was the most amazing session because my son Jaden was involved! I’ve always dreamed of taking him to the studio! I’ve always dreamed of us being on some track together one day and it finally happened!

Such a beautiful moment it literally brought tears to my eyes and continues to do so every time I listen to it! First of all it’s emotional because it’s actually a praise song to God! I did it my way, exactly how I pictured it. Authentic and loving. Then my son is on it, which sounds adorable and I even tried something new on it which is rap! (I do not rap, unless I’m rapping with Nicki Minaj or Snoop Dogg) but I gave it a go and it worked out great!

Everything about this session was just amazing… I had about a week to perfect how I wanted to sing everything, I had a week to tell my son and prepare how I wanted him to do it and he did it! Seeing his little mouth by the mic 🎤  was so moving, and he did great because he’s  only four so his attention span was eventually disappearing after telling him to do different takes but he pulled it off and I thank  the producer so much for his patients and how he arranged everything.

I’m still waiting for the final product but I know it will sound great. The way this song is set up, it will definitely be an introductory song to all the other music I do… In the music world we call it an intro.

I think the whole experience is overwhelmingly beautiful because again not only did I get to record with my son, but I would never think after so many years I would get back in a studio room and just feel more free than ever… Music is always been a passion of mine, and I’m so happy that It came back into my life.

I look forward to sharing my music with the world again because I’ve been saying “I’m breaking necks this year” LOL

PS.if you are interested in following my journey you can follow me on

Instagram: @cocobenson_

Facebook : TheCocoBenson

YouTube or Apple Music, Spotify : Coco Benson

Four Years Of Motherhood 🎈

My big boy Jaden is about to be FOUR years old this Saturday!!! I’m literally going to be raising a four year old boy! Wow. Four years of motherhood! Four years of amazing memories. Four years of amazing growth, such a beautiful experience. Being a mommy to Jaden is the best thing on this earth! I wouldn’t change it for anything.

As I get older I realize this was always my path because I love being a mommy but as time goes by, I’ve found balance and I can accomplish everything I want to while still being a mommy. Of course there are sacrifices at times but it’s short lived! What’s important is that my kids know I love them unconditionally and that I’ll go above and beyond for them. Everything that I thought I couldn’t accomplish before or fell a part, are now coming together and it’s all God’s timing because maybe before I wasn’t ready or maybe I needed a different kind of motivation which I get from my children.

Life is what you make it and you have to enjoy the moments you can, create new memories daily and learn to be better each day.

I am so proud of my boy! Four years old! Smart, talkative, learning how to read (I just found out yesterday while we are doing night time stories) He’s asking questions, he tells me stories and sings songs and his brain is so creative! The list goes on and on. I am so blessed to be his mother! He’s a great big brother, who takes care of his sister and teaches her (good and sometimes naughty things lol) but their bond is unbreakable. I’m loving the little big boy he’s becoming and I know he’ll continue to do amazing things with God on his side and US.

Cheers to Papa bear and myself!

Sad Mommy :(

My last blog was about being a working contract mommy and this blog is about being a sad mommy 😦

I haven’t seen my kids for about two and half maybe three weeks soon and it’s really taking a toll on me. I miss them so much. I miss their presence and kisses and hugs and my son and daughter just following me around everywhere just because…. this is the sad part about the hustle and sacrifice. You do these things for the better but then you don’t want to do these things because of what you’re essentially leaving behind. It’s such a catch 22!

I believe all sacrifice is never in vain and there are definitely rewards for it but it’s so damn hard! In my perfect world, I’m doing nothing but taking care of my babies but I have a lot of other stuff going on so I have to keep pushing.

😦 don’t really feel like writing anymore….

The contract mommy

As of last year, I decided to take the jump and go back to work. It’s not your regular 9-5 … it’s quite intensive, the hours are long but the great news is that it’s contracted.

I love contract work because it gives me the ability to be very flexible as a mother. I can have time for my own business, I can have time for my husband, I can have time for my children, and do everything that I want to do if I’m not currently doing that work.

It was a big step for me, but very necessary… Because there’s so many things that go on in the family, and there are so many things to take care of, and so many goals to reach and it’s cool to rely on one income but it’s not too bad to rely on two incomes especially when you’re bringing in some correct money.

Last year when I was away on work, I luckily had my amazing sister to help me with Papa bear watching the children it worked out. We all survived. This time, same situation but the distance is longer… Remember I said in an earlier blog I took my children to west Africa? Well as of right now they are there, and I am in the in the states! Can you imagine 😭 That is a lot of water between us, literally oceans between us. I think I can survive this because I know they are with my mother, they are in great hands & I will see them very soon.

It’s quite a tough thing to leave your children behind but sometimes in this life, you have to make sacrifices. This time I didn’t have my sister around and for Papa bear to watch our children alone although I know he could do it for two weeks nonstop, it would STOP absolutely everything he had to do for himself and our family. Would that be fair of me to ask him to sit still? Hmm 🤔 we have the same goals to reach and parenting is a two work man job but sometimes you really have to make sacrifices to better the whole family. I know the kids will be alright.

I spoke to my son not too long ago today, and yes he did cry “mommy, I miss you. Come back home” it totally broke my heart but I had to put on my big girl pants and realize I’m starting work again tomorrow and I’m going to be busy and focused and I’ll be back in your cute/sweet lovely arms in no time.

Motherhood is such a big deal. As a mom, you have to make all these decisions and all these decisions have consequences. I know there are some women and men that will judge me for going to work with two children, especially small children but then I think to myself “you’re not paying any of my bills” and all of those opinions are irrelevant. I know the lifestyle I’m trying to live, I know exactly what I want to give my children. You can’t always just expect everything to be handed to you especially from Papa bear. As a woman there’s nothing wrong with getting your hands a little dirty and the benefits will be glorious in the long run. I know exactly why I’m doing this and I know the rewards that can come from this and I know I’ll see my children very soon.

The house is so quiet right now though. I told papa bear “Is this what it’s like when your kids go to college?.” Just the two of us. Quiet. No mess anywhere. No noise. Just us. This is happening right now, so imagine when I children are really young adults of their own and everything we ever wanted is set and our goals are met. Pretty amazing.

I know there will be some days at work when I get to the hotel,  I’ll feel sad and I might cry because I do miss my children but every day that I wake up, it’s just another day that the contract is further down the line and another day that I’ve gotten paid.

I’m very grateful that I had the opportunity to do this contract work & because of that opportunity I don’t take it lightly and I stay completely focused.

Being a working mom is very tough but somehow, there’s always a way to make it  work. I want to make sure I don’t get sidetracked because at the end of the day my children are my priority, and I definitely don’t want to miss moments of them growing up in anyway but that’s where balance come in. It’s not every contract that I will take but it’s not every contract I will miss either. God will see my family through.

Take back yourself Mama ❤️

This will be my last post having anything to do with our Bali trip and this is a post about me.

While in paradise for a short two weeks, I’ve never felt so good as a mommy. I really felt free and I was loving every bit of my curves and stomach and stretch marks like never before for myself! There’s something about vacations that make you feel more free than ever. Have you noticed that? Have you ever looked at anyone’s vacation pictures and see more of them than usual? It’s because of the freedom and relief to just be away. I love it!!

Remember in my previous blog I said I had a nanny and because of that it helped me “live my best mama life” I mean it. Going on vacation with kids is hardly a break because they will always be just as needy there just as home but I was enjoying myself.

Having two kids. I’m Twenty-nine, my body isn’t like it used to be when I was 18 (flat stomach, no ass, no breast, just lanky and tall) but NOW I have a full woman body. Hips and thighs, stretch marks and a tummy pouch which some days is bigger than others, I still have small breasts (I’ve accepted this fate lol) but yes my body is totally different. When you have children you need to find the balance to take care of them and take care of yourself. It’s not always easy especially when they are newborn but I’m dealing with a 1 1/2 year old and three year old. It’s amazing how much you can do & feel great about it. I feel like I can be super mom and still “slay” on! To feel like this as a mom takes time but I’ve reached that point where I know it’s just going to get better.

You keep yourself sexy and confident for yourself first & then for your husband! When you’re confident in your body, you’re even more attractive because they also see the glow shining within from the outside. I’m so lucky papa bear appreciates my body exactly how it is because I don’t have to hide behind something I am not. I just get to show my sexy on my terms and he enjoys and appreciates that. I pray none of you have to deal with an asshole, who shams you in any type of way as a mother, if they do F THEM 🖕🏼 You are beautiful! You gave life and you are EVERYTHING you are supposed to be.

When you get to the point where you’re ready to take back yourself! Do so without hesitation. We are all adults now. Who the heck is going to tell you anything?! Honestly. Don’t let these kids take over your life to the point where you can’t even feel good about yourself and don’t let them steal your mama shine! You are the maker and creator of them. “Give dem” (as we say in broken English) I know it takes a while to get to this place but YOU WILL AND CAN GET THERE and you’ll love it. Yes, some days or a lot of days you may just want to chill and that’s okay too because that’s life but anytime you want to show out… SHOW ALL THE WAY OUT HONEY 🍯

Is there a groom yourself age limit?

Is there a grooming age limit for children?

randomly came across this question while looking at the picture above.

My son Jaden loves to be pampered. Is it wrong that I let him at age three? I’m literally grooming him to enjoy good things. He loves to get pedicures on his tiny little toes and as you can see he knows what a good back massage and foot massage is. He says  “mommy, can you massage my feet or scratch my back.” Like!!! what do you know about that you little three old!

Honestly, I don’t mind treating him to mommies sweet foot massage or little back scratch. When I was younger, I remember my mom scratching my back when I asked it was the sweetest thing ever so maybe I’m just following a trait.

Am I training him up to be spoiled in this kind of way… Is it going to drive his lovely girlfriend or wife up the wall one day because he’s going to be asking for these things on demand… They do say we set up our children and then they are who they are, but I also believe that you’re never too young to enjoy something good as long as you know the value of it. I make sure I tell my son every day to be thankful, say his prayers and make sure he knows that some people don’t have things that he has and I use food as a good example. When he wants something and doesn’t feel like  eating it after he asked for it, I let him know that not everyone is fortunate enough to have a meal on their table on demand like you do so please finish up your food and it usually works. 

Everything is about moderation. Grooming is a part of life. I believe that kids should know how to put their shoes in order, know how to dress, brush their hair and teeth and know a routine and sometimes that routine consist of enjoying good things like pedicures and back massages.

At the end of the day, I know what I’m doing… I hope lol in the  meantime I will let his little three-old self, soon to be four enjoy those little things, but if I noticed him asking for something way more than often then it all comes to a stop and I’ll definitely have to deal with that consequence :/ “C’est la vie” sometimes.