Princess Party Planning 💗

My baby girl is about to be four years old, glory to God and she wants a princess party. I have the vision ready but will it all get pulled off on time!? I hope so.

This is my year of “make up” because I wasn’t present last year! My son had a wonderful Super Mario birthday party, all the kids had a blast and the cake 🎂 see below, it exceeded my expectations… delicious too. We had splish splash fun, & the venue rocked.

Amazing as this cakes looks, honestly, look at the details…. I just found out my cake maker is not available 😒 out of all the months, now she wants a break sigh* just praying I find someone else that can understand the assignment because I want the Disney castle so I’ll try my very best.

Till then, I’ll keep this blog as a two part thing… will I be able to pull it off??? Stay tuned.

Dear Mommy, These are for you – Pre order available now! 📚

It’s official everyone 🥹🙏🏽, my affirmation book: Dear Mommy, These are for you is FINALLY ready & available for pre order on Amazon kindle & will release May 8th 2022 (A wonderful date – 🌸Mother’s Day 🌸

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09ZH2BSFQ also available in other parts of the world!

Every mommy needs encouragement at times, please support me by purchasing this book, not just to lift yourself up, but for other mommies that you might know that might need it (this includes you dad’s) share this with your lovely woman.

I appreciate all of you who have continued to support my blog over the years. I do hope you enjoy this book.

Ps. On May 8th 2022, the book will also be available to purchase paperback copy 📕 on Amazon.

Thank you 🙂

Airline Wahala ☀️

(Wahala means trouble)

I’ve started planning for summer already. It’s literally around the corner. I’m so looking forward to spending a wonderful time building more amazing memories with my family.

Summer since I’ve been a child, has always been memorable and I wouldn’t want it less for my own children BUT, nobody prepared me for those flight fees 😫 completely disastrous. Of course, when you’re small it’s my parents that would be dealing with it, I’d just get on the airplane… my oh my how the tables have turned! Now it’s my children who will get on the airplane stress free, while I’m trying to figure out what the best route to take going and coming.

First of all, airlines are actually a set up for any parent! The only time they make sense with children is when they are lap infants or babies. There’s practically no cost at all. The moment they are old enough to sit on their own $$$$$$ I mean! Calm down DELTA or whoever else. I understand they use the entertainment but children are restless and they never eat the airplane food, not even kid meals are good enough.

You really have to plan well when you want to travel as a family, the up and go life can’t work unless you’re equipped for it.

The only area I have some luck thanks to my wonderful father, is that he invested in Timeshare! I didn’t understand it then, but NOW – a life saver when looking into booking a room & the deals are fantastic. The best part is you can use it in so many places around the world! What a gem. Thankfully, we can save some money in one area and not be tight in both.

Regardless, I’m absolutely going on vacation! I need it, my children need, my family needs it. I’m looking forward to our summer adventures & I know it will be worth every memory.

What are you plans for the summer readers and if you’re a parent, how do you cope with family trips?!

And here we are yet again.

I’m back on the road !!! I left early March and now we are in April. Sigh* I miss my kids so much I don’t even want to think about it. Thank God for FaceTime, I don’t know how I would cope otherwise. Do you remember my blog about being a traveling + working mommy, this time has come again.

First of all, NO MISSING OF THE BIRTHDAY’S MOM GUILT 😮‍💨 you know how that ate me alive last time for almost a year. Before leaving for work this time, I threw my son an amazing birthday party which he loved. He was happy, his sister was happy, I was happy! Wins all around.

Being a contractor has so many advantages, it’s really the freedom I have to control my life which is why I love it, but… it still really sucks to be away from my children. I’m so sad 😞 but, I’m trying to put it to the side to keep pushing. Due to Covid a lot of work was pushed back last year so this this year, it’s a zig zag of work, back to back! It’s NEVER been like this and I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. The days are going by but I’m still not sure if they are fast or not… I just can’t wait till I’m on my last contract in this last stretch of Q2, so I can be with my babies and continue to work on the other things I was doing.

I tell myself “hang in there.” I go this. I know I do but it’s also tough. Maybe it’s time for me to look for remote work so I can stay home more and take less contracts! I’m really going to look into this, sigh* I need to. I pray God shows me the way to go.

Anyways, my daughters birthday is coming up next and I WILL NOT MISS THAT EITHER! So I’m happy about that and I know the sweet little girl will be too. She keeps asking her nana “is mommy going to make my birthday.” Ugh! I won’t miss it for anything….

Wish me good luck y’all! I’m trying not to crack. I’m almost there and then I can take a nice long break.

I always wonder how my father did this, 🧐 but, I guess when it’s for your family, there’s bo choice but to go above and beyond.

The White Wall

My children have both learned to have a new found love of coloring and they both do it so well for their ages. They stay in the lines and play with colors, I love to see it.

When I was away for one my work assignments, because of my anxieties I decided to buy an adult coloring book (they are fun but lost importantly relaxing) they really do calm me down at times I feel away and alone from my family and it’s also an accomplishment seeing your fully finished work. I have the most intricate book.

Anyways, when I got back home, my children saw it and of course they wanted it all to themselves. First I was hesitant, because I just wanted the book for myself and my other assignments in the future but then I figured “nah” let them have it and enjoy the ocean patterns and animals, I can always get a new one later.

They really do love that book, as detailed as it is, they figured a way to color it in their own way without getting caught up in the small spaces. They’ll run to me when they have done one page each “mommy, look” I’m amazed. I love it & thinking to myself 💭 these children of mine are smart because I could spend hours on one section and look at them! Done in twenty minutes lol

Their masterpiece.
Mr. Puffin

The White Wall. . . What exactly am I talking about – well, we all have a white painted wall somewhere in the house/apt right! Did you ever think of how children look at a white wall? It’s a big piece of white paper! & what do children do on paper, they draw and color on it.

My daughter has marked her territory on these walls. I have cleaned it up time and time again, but her mind goes back to the drawing board. I tell her “please don’t write or draw on anything,” she’ll agree until I see the next mark where it’s big suppose to be 😩 my son doesn’t get a pass either! I’ve seen his work too.

I’ve decided to leave this matter alone not because I’m giving in but because of the creative perspective! My only rule is that ONLY in their room. What if he/she is going to be the next biggest painter, or a architect the world has ever seen.

Now c’mon I’m not silly… I will NOT tell them, only in their room is where they can get creative (never, lol that’s a set up) but, it means for me, I won’t get as upset as I used to because I’m looking at it all in a different perspective. . .

Am I wrong?

What are your thoughts about this, do you let your own children be creatively free or is there a limit?

After all, walls can always be painted again. I’m not bothered right now and I’ve cleaned up worse mess than you can imagine.

I’m not say it a free for all draw on the walls either, but I need to save my voice box parents, it’s already raspy enough 😅

The social media break! (The most necessary)

At the moment I am currently on a social media break and let me tell you, I never knew how much I needed this!

We don’t realize how consumed we get by online and the bs it comes with. At times, we see the good & at times without a choice we see the bad but both are still embedded reads in our subconscious.

I know how many hours I can shamelessly be on an app scrolling none stop. One day, I woke up and simply had ENOUGH! I deleted them all. The break I needed.

I have been happily in my own motherhood/wife life/self love and getting closer to God world for almost two weeks.

I have more time to pay attention and stay focused on many things. It’s amazing how much focus you can put towards something when you are simply not distracted.

Remember that book of mine that was suppose to be released last year “Dear mommy, these are for you.” Well, I FINALLY made time to correct and finish it (Amazon approved finished) I took the time to make sure it was right, whereas before I would see one “error” close the tab and never looked back till I felt like it, just wow! (Clap for me)

Social media is dangerous, dangerous in the fact that it can drive us away from so much. Scrolling so much, you forget to eat or (I’m the queen of this lol) take pictures and boomerang’s of our meals before we eat them.

Even time with my children. I am Mrs. Do the most with my kids especially when we travel but sometimes at home, I can be in myself not engaging fully to what my children are doing because… (I’m sure you know the answer,) MY PHONE. I’ve had time. Whether their stories are gibberish or not lol, whether it’s their interactive play, or anything they want to do, I just have time for it.

Books! I will be the first to admit, I’m not the fastest reader in the world, but I do enjoy a good book. Since this social media break, I’ve read four books! I mean… me! Before, never. I’m on the quest to find out what kind of book reader I am. Fiction/non-fiction and it’s just a fun bit of discovery for me.

Without me going on and on about this, the bottom line is, FOR EVERYONE… take the social media breaks. Delete the apps! They are not going anywhere and for ourselves, it is necessary for our mind/soul/conscious!

I am not saying I won’t go back, I absolutely will and continue to be myself on there as I always do, but I have now trained my mind to not be addicted to things that have nothing to do with me online (blogs/stories/images) I’ve just tuned it all off and I pray for myself that I can really keep this up. (I will try, but it’s not easy)

If I can pull these breaks off monthly or every two months, I think I can find a better balance than be a “phone zombie.”

Try it for yourself, even if for two days. You’ll love it for yourself and your family or with whatever it is that you need to focus on.

I take it seriously because above everything else, I always put God first. I say it all the time, but sometimes, I might not put it into practice. This social break has got me closer to God once again and I am in love with myself for that because God can do many amazing things and most importantly bring blessings and much needed peace and rest. These are the things I seek in life (not religiously) spiritually.

Remember, online is truly a blur of “fake.” I’m not saying people don’t post their real lives & these stories whether positive or negative are not true, but most of it doesn’t help us. Sadly, many people strive to be what they see and hear online whether they want to believe it or not. Let us try and be aware of these things so online and offline can be a safer place for us.

Troublesome Four… 😒

Towards the end of last year and the beginning of this year, I have noticed a huge shift with both of my children. They are both maturing, their mouths are moving more than ever. Their learning is improving, it’s a wonderful thing to see.

What I’ve noticed the most is their attitudes. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but they both seem to be more moody and more opinionated than ever before. I feel like this is a very vital time in parenthood. I really don’t like whiners, and my son always seems to whine rather than just ask for something directly. As this is his behavior, it trickles down to his younger sister and then she also starts whining for things. I just can’t stand it!

My disciplined radar is higher than ever, and I’m not trying to be the grinch in the house, but if I don’t take it away from them now it’s just going to get worse.

My daughter is so demanding and in my head I’m thinking, what exactly do you know about “this and that.” It can be from a simple task to picking up toys or to picking out her clothes. I’m happy to have her pick out what she wants to wear, but sometimes clothing that she chooses is not appropriate because I know it’s for a certain event or I know it will get dirty, so when I say she cannot wear it, rather than her just saying ”Ok mommy” and moving on to choosing the next thing, she decides she wants to have a huge toddler tantrum about it. That’s where I draw the line. I always have to remind her that “I am the mother” and she has to listen to me and she can’t always get her way.

Things never used to be like this, and it’s making me think if all parents go through this phase 🤔 I don’t remember hearing about it.… PLEASE, SHARE YOUR STORIES WITH ME!!!!

At this stage of my children’s ages, they listen and hear every single thing anybody says. It’s so important for me to say the right things and do the right things while also teaching them valuable lessons.

The truth is, I am kind of struggling. This is a new change I was NOT prepared for just yet, but I will certainly figure it out.

“It takes a village” is making more sense to me as my children get older and as I observe them.

Stay tuned.

Keeping it real with Coco 💕

As some of you may know and not know, when i’m not “mommy-ing…” I am sometimes focus on my singing career. yes! I am also an artist who goes by the name Coco Benson (music available on all streaming platforms and Youtube) & yes my children know ALL my songs (even the unreleased) lol 😂 Anyways, to follow that part of my life, you would need to follow me on Instagram. My account name is @CocoBenson_

Not too long ago, I started an Instagram series called “keeping it real with Coco.” Every week once or twice I try and go live and talk about everything real. There’s no shortage of topics. I wanted to introduce everyone on here to that because it’s a way for you to know who had been behind this blog for all these years and again, I thank everyone that has liked my stuff and shared their thoughts, we don’t know each other but I appreciate you just as much that you take the time to read what I think and read my personal opinions about this motherhood journey.

Keeping it real with Coco is an in-depth conversation as I said about real matters. If you’re ever interested, you can always join me live to watch and chime into and episode or you can follow me or not follow me lol and still watch my show on IGTV.

See you there, don’t be shy, it’s a free and open space.

Amazing Interactions.

Our family decided to go to the park. Everyone around us was having a good time, the sun was starting to set, it was just a lovely summer evening.

After a nice walk, we finally got to the playground and I couldn’t help but smile and feel genuinely happy about seeing all the children interact with each other, including my own. I honestly forget about COVID and caution. All I could hear is laughter and all I could see was positive energy.

What led me to write today was the fact that while my son was playing, a boy a bit older than him asked to play. He first approached him while my son was on the swing set and he said while I was pushing my daughter, “is this your son?” I said yes. then he asked my son, “Can I push you?.” At first my son said no, and the boy said “why not” and proceeded to push.

He enjoyed it and they were both laughing at how high he could push him on the swing. Afterwards, the boy turned around and said “do you want to play hot lava?, let’s go and don’t touch the ground.” And they were off.

This whole interaction made me smile and I was just observing. I was so fascinated by it, I even told papa bear “how amazing is this.”

It’s so important for children to be around each other because they can relate to each other in so many ways and their imaginations have no limits. I’ve seen my children play that game in our home, so I know my son was excited finding out someone else knows the same game.

How can people not learn from children, I literally said to myself, no wonder God loves children because they are just so fascinating to watch. They have different personalities, they are all trying to figure out themselves and how to do something, constantly. It doesn’t matter if it’s learning at school, just building up confidence to speak to others, or do something which will encourage another.

I cherish these learning moments from my children.

My last thought of this is, the happiness of being together. I am so glad that the world is slowly going back to how it used to be because I could tell that children missed each other and I could see how many parents were happy to be outside fully with their kids, including myself. We stay cautious of course but we are some what “free” again.

In less than 24 hrs

The family is back in America! The kids are back from Ghana after one year. There were so many tears leaving to the airport from their Nanny and I’m sure their Nana. I say I’m sure because I didn’t see her cry but I just know she did. She’s been with her grandkids for a whole year. Her home went from a loud/loving cheerful kid zone to a quiet zone. No kids in sight… I told her not to be sad because it’s only temporary & she has so much going on it, time will fly and she’ll see her babies again.

As for me….

It’s time for me to mommy again! Between the flying with the kids (which they did great by the way… no crying, a little restlessness but only at the very end) I also flew with Papa bear so that made things a little bit easier… Immigration said nothing at all which was surprising because they have been away so long… They both had a look of excitement but also a tiny bit of sadness. They’ve been in Ghana and around certain people for months and now they’re back to a different environment with certain memories they may or may not remember.

We’ve moved yet again so they hadn’t even seen anything around us & surprisingly, my son kept on talking about our previous place and I kept on telling him that we don’t live there anymore. My daughter doesn’t understand the concept of destination yet but I know she absolutely misses her Nana.

Seeing my kids in our new place so surreal. Now our place is the loud & happy zone. There are toys everywhere, I’m cleaning up after them and doing all the things that a mother should do. It’s natural instinct for me so I know exactly what I’m doing but I’m also thinking to myself, wow this is so much work and I can’t believe I used to do this before on my own.

The biggest difference is the fact that now my children are older which means, I have to deal with two different characters, two different emotions and two different needs at the same time. It can be very demanding and they don’t understand that I need them to patient with me and each other. I’m convinced that I hear my name “mom” 100 times a day if not more.

I’m so happy to have my children back in our home but I would by lying if I said it’s been a “walk in the park.” I just have to keep remembering why I took a back step, to be with my children! To make the lasting memories in their heads which my father/their grandfather told me. It’s about what they remember while they are growing up and they won’t forget you being and doing many things for them. This actually make perfect sense because memories last but time does not.

Our routine starts once again and I’ll keep you updated along the way.

Big girl Jada 💞

The other day I got a message in my what’s app from my nanny. She said “I have a surprise for you.” I couldn’t guess what it was at all so I basically said tell me, with anticipation. It was a video of my sweet baby girl Jada writing ✍️!!!!!!!! I was in shock. It was a beautiful surprise to see.

I honestly couldn’t believe my eyes. She was holding the pencil perfectly, her other hand was placed on her workbook so it wouldn’t slide and she could trace her big and small letter (E,e’s).

Child development really happens in such a short period of time and the most important factor is her watching and learning mentally before going about it by herself! This is amazing. Jaden gets a lot of workbook tracing letter activities and when I do homework with him, she always said, “where is my own” which sometimes I had and sometimes I didn’t. She has been mentally preparing for this moment and she reached her own personal achievement when she finally got the chance, isn’t that just beautiful.

I am extremely proud of both of my children. They learn an incredible amount from each other as I would imagine. My son has now turned 5 and he just started picking up his writing skills towards the end of his four year old era! I would be lying if I didn’t say to myself “when will he start” but the minute school opened back up (another blog for another day) he picked it up and a few short weeks! I was just as happy for him as I am for my daughter and children develops skills at different times, the only difference is that she has started at the end of her 2 year old era on the way to age 3.

I end this blog by saying, let your children pick skills up without pressure. The new mom always wants to say “why is my child not doing this yet.” The veteran mom says “they WILL get it” and guess what, they do & you’ll be so proud of those moments when they do come about.

Uncomfortable encounter.

As a black woman with a black husband and son, I am no stranger to what could possibly go on if we get stopped by the police. I know everyone has their own different opinions but I go by what I see not by what I hear.

Not too long ago in Ghana I got pulled over for no reason, I provided my drivers license and those idiots said “you don’t have an international permit.” So long story short, they took my license away. I wasn’t too bothered because it was about to expire and in one week I knew I could get a brand new one in the United States.

The only reason I hated the encounter was because in the midst of me having a missing document the police officer said “I have to arrest you.” I said “I’m not going anywhere and don’t you EVER speak to me like that in front of my children.” Once I said this, the officers eyes go big, he stretched his neck and saw both my children in the back and because of what he said, my son started crying. I was so pissed off!!!! Eventually they let me go and I left.

I couldn’t help but think about this encounter and how different it would have been if my children and I were in America.

Moving forward, I am back in the USA and just four days ago, I was driving my car. Nothing wrong, no speeding – nothing wrong at all but when I looked in my rear view mirror, who was behind me. The police. They were just there. We were both waiting for the light to change but the most eerie feeling came over my body. I was so nervous, my anxiety kicked in and my heart started pounding, literally pounding – I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and then I said out loud to myself “This is so sad, so so so sad.” The light turned green and we both went our own way.

I honestly couldn’t believe how scared I was seeing the police behind me and I did nothing. Isn’t that just the most awful thing. The police who we are suppose to make me feel protected rather put me in shock. I was genuinely sad for myself and I am a strong black woman. I can only imagine what others go through.

the point of me sharing is because there is a lot going on in our society, matter of fact, their always is but the bottom line is, people should be able to go through life with ease! & not this stress, I feel for many that are seen as minorities, we definitely have to move differently unfortunately weather we like it or not.