Distance makes the heart.

Mommy is finally back!

I missed my babies so much! Their love and affection, their smiles and laughs, their bond, I just missed everything about them. 

I got in two days ago early in the morning, the moment I stepped in the door first thing I heard was my son crying and saying my name. It was so emotional, he was so overcome with joy he couldn’t believe that I had finally made it home and not just me, Papa bear too. This was the absolute best feeling in the whole wide world I can hardly explain it. There’s something between a bond with parents and their children that is so amazing and so beautiful. I’ve been away for almost a month again, maybe a bit less but all I know is I am so happy to be around the two loves of my life!

I mentioned before, I don’t want to miss any moments of anything and I’ve already made so many more memories with them in such a short period of time. They’ve grown so much, they are talking better, they are writing and they are so intelligent. I can’t believe my eyes and ears. I will absolutely not miss any moments so long as I don’t have to.

I already made the decision that I’m going to cut back on work because it’s almost unbearable, these days, I need to be with my children. These are the moments that they will remember and these are the times where I need to be around for them no matter what.

I pray God continues to provide for my family and continues to protect us as we grow and I know everything will work out for the better. 

My children are my life and although I also have a life outside of my children there’s nothing like their unconditional love. We are growing together and we are learning together and I’m just so excited to be in their presence once again. How I’ve missed these two voices.

The bond is so strong & for the past three days even the slightest separation, needing to go do something, they are both afraid that I’m going and I won’t come back again… it makes me feel some kind of way but I tell them “mommy isn’t going anywhere, not this time and when mommy does go somewhere, you’re coming with me.” then their face is light right back up. 

Life is so precious, and the most important thing is making memories and that’s what I plan to do. I’ve always been a hands-on mom, I do a lot of things with the children. I feel like I’m stepping into a new zone with them I look forward to everything that is to come.

Cheers to motherhood 🥂

A special message from my son via talk to text 

“Thank you airplans for bringing Mommy back I love mommy Barry so much, I love you in the whole wide wide mommy. When I when she gives me something I like when she give me snacks and food I will eat it but the things I don’t want to eat I want mommy to give me nice food. I love mommy so much.”

The other side of the table 🏥

I don’t usually share what I do … unless I decide to, but this is the exception.

I tech assisted in two C-sections (single baby & twins) a few days ago and I am still overcome with emotion. It was the most beautiful thing to see. I was doing what I do on one side, and I was witnessing life being born on the other side.

Giving birth whichever form is magical and I felt all the love and good energy in the OR. It’s funny being on the other side of the room not as mommy in labor, but part of the team who assists another mommy.

Truth be told when I saw the little beautiful babies, my eyes watered up and I absolutely got caught by everyone and they laughed and smiled. It might have been the “mom” in me, it might have been my passion or it might have just been the feeling I got when I had my own children but even though it wasn’t me lying down, I felt the same joy as the mothers and the adorable fathers.

I remember seeing my husbands face when the child is put on the baby bed for the first time, it’s this look of “wow, that’s my child, wow, look how little.” & to see that all over again in other husbands was still the same fuzzy feeling. They are always so proud.

Children are really a gift, I am very blessed to be able to do what I do especially with moments like this.

6 months later… (Post Covid – but not really)

I can’t believe we have gotten to a point, were wearing a mask seems normal.

I never thought I would get used to this, I don’t know if I like it. I don’t know if I have fully adjusted just yet. The thing is, life has to go on and there’s nothing we can do about that… But be extremely cautious and careful.

I have been living my life in Ghana, West Africa for six months. This is the longest I have ever been there. It was a blessing to be in a place like that during a time like this in the world because even though the virus did affect the area, they handled it well. They took care of the people and I never felt I wasn’t safe once.

My children have been happy, I have been happy and I even got the chance to go out a few times!! Can you believe that, in a time like this I was out with people and smiling, dancing and even having a few drinks, I miss doing things like that. It seems like once the fear is gone of something you can’t even see you just learn to adapt in some sort of way.

Now; I am finally back in the United States! The borders in Ghana were closed for such a long time and I lived that life. Suddenly, things were open again. Part of me never wanted to leave and face the reality of what I have to do but just like I said, I MUST.

A lot of people have been unemployed for months and one morning I woke up and I got a message from my recruiter and work was suddenly in my front… What a blessing. I don’t take it for granted but I also thought to myself, wow! Now I have to go back to work and do my contract mommy work stuff as I said in one of my posts before.

It’s a bittersweet feeling because I know I do this work for my beautiful children and for my family and even for myself but the bitter part was I decided to leave my children in Ghana because it was the right thing to do.

Why would I pull them away from that comfort and the sun and picking fruit off their Nana‘s tree, I wasn’t ready to do that to them and I wasn’t even ready for Papa bear to take on all that responsibility so soon even though we both miss them dearly.

The time will pass and all of our hard work is not in vain. This year has gone by so fast I can hardly remember each month but all I know is that soon, I will be back with my beautiful children and eventually we will all come back to the United States as a unit but until then I have to get my hustle on and I have to do things which I know I can do to make them comfortable when they do return.

It’s absolutely crazy that this virus is still living with us !!! where is this vaccine which I don’t even believe in? Will it ever come… Or is it just the media making us afraid for something that is to come more serious? Who knows. All I know is good things come on the other side of fear… So don’t be afraid and still achieve all the goals you need to achieve. We still have a few months left till 2021.

2020 has been very unpredictable and rocky year but don’t let that overcome you because 2020 has not defeated you or me or anyone and we can do this.

Four Years Of Motherhood 🎈

My big boy Jaden is about to be FOUR years old this Saturday!!! I’m literally going to be raising a four year old boy! Wow. Four years of motherhood! Four years of amazing memories. Four years of amazing growth, such a beautiful experience. Being a mommy to Jaden is the best thing on this earth! I wouldn’t change it for anything.

As I get older I realize this was always my path because I love being a mommy but as time goes by, I’ve found balance and I can accomplish everything I want to while still being a mommy. Of course there are sacrifices at times but it’s short lived! What’s important is that my kids know I love them unconditionally and that I’ll go above and beyond for them. Everything that I thought I couldn’t accomplish before or fell a part, are now coming together and it’s all God’s timing because maybe before I wasn’t ready or maybe I needed a different kind of motivation which I get from my children.

Life is what you make it and you have to enjoy the moments you can, create new memories daily and learn to be better each day.

I am so proud of my boy! Four years old! Smart, talkative, learning how to read (I just found out yesterday while we are doing night time stories) He’s asking questions, he tells me stories and sings songs and his brain is so creative! The list goes on and on. I am so blessed to be his mother! He’s a great big brother, who takes care of his sister and teaches her (good and sometimes naughty things lol) but their bond is unbreakable. I’m loving the little big boy he’s becoming and I know he’ll continue to do amazing things with God on his side and US.

Cheers to Papa bear and myself!

Take back yourself Mama ❤️

This will be my last post having anything to do with our Bali trip and this is a post about me.

While in paradise for a short two weeks, I’ve never felt so good as a mommy. I really felt free and I was loving every bit of my curves and stomach and stretch marks like never before for myself! There’s something about vacations that make you feel more free than ever. Have you noticed that? Have you ever looked at anyone’s vacation pictures and see more of them than usual? It’s because of the freedom and relief to just be away. I love it!!

Remember in my previous blog I said I had a nanny and because of that it helped me “live my best mama life” I mean it. Going on vacation with kids is hardly a break because they will always be just as needy there just as home but I was enjoying myself.

Having two kids. I’m Twenty-nine, my body isn’t like it used to be when I was 18 (flat stomach, no ass, no breast, just lanky and tall) but NOW I have a full woman body. Hips and thighs, stretch marks and a tummy pouch which some days is bigger than others, I still have small breasts (I’ve accepted this fate lol) but yes my body is totally different. When you have children you need to find the balance to take care of them and take care of yourself. It’s not always easy especially when they are newborn but I’m dealing with a 1 1/2 year old and three year old. It’s amazing how much you can do & feel great about it. I feel like I can be super mom and still “slay” on! To feel like this as a mom takes time but I’ve reached that point where I know it’s just going to get better.

You keep yourself sexy and confident for yourself first & then for your husband! When you’re confident in your body, you’re even more attractive because they also see the glow shining within from the outside. I’m so lucky papa bear appreciates my body exactly how it is because I don’t have to hide behind something I am not. I just get to show my sexy on my terms and he enjoys and appreciates that. I pray none of you have to deal with an asshole, who shams you in any type of way as a mother, if they do F THEM 🖕🏼 You are beautiful! You gave life and you are EVERYTHING you are supposed to be.

When you get to the point where you’re ready to take back yourself! Do so without hesitation. We are all adults now. Who the heck is going to tell you anything?! Honestly. Don’t let these kids take over your life to the point where you can’t even feel good about yourself and don’t let them steal your mama shine! You are the maker and creator of them. “Give dem” (as we say in broken English) I know it takes a while to get to this place but YOU WILL AND CAN GET THERE and you’ll love it. Yes, some days or a lot of days you may just want to chill and that’s okay too because that’s life but anytime you want to show out… SHOW ALL THE WAY OUT HONEY 🍯

A girl named Jada.

The last time I properly spoke about my daughter I mentioned how she was barely opening her eyes. Eleven months later, her eyes are big, beautiful and brown.

My sweet girl. Full name Jada Folasade. I never thought I’d find love quite like this. She’s just like my Jaden but a girl version. She’s coming into her own little sassy self! She’s addicted to me, even more than her big brother was at this age. She practically screams at the top of her lungs when I turn my back or walk away… it’s something to see but do I mind?! Not really, I’m flattered that a little human being can love someone so much. It makes me happy. Yes, there are times when it can drive others to confusion and when I need a moment to focus on her brother or another things it can be quite bothersome but it’s all out of Love.

My daughter is a real little girl. She’s so cute and cuddly, smart and her smiles just light up the room. She herself is an amazing younger sister. She loves to play with Jaden, she loves to share & when she hears his voice, her whole face lights up. It’s match made.

In one month, she’s already about to be one years old and I can’t believe it. Time just simply goes by too fast. She was just a baby that we took on a family trip to New Orleans and now she’s a little madam who takes command and ALWAYS wants to eat my food, and eat on her own and stand and talk her baby talk and test her brother… (what do I mean test? Stay tuned for the next blog or two away )  😉

I am a very proud mother, I really am raising two amazing kids, it’s never easy but it’s constant learning and growing for myself and them and between us I remember when my doctor said my son Jaden would be a girl I felt some way… but a life without my sweet princess in it doesn’t make sense now. She’s another part of my puzzle, another part of her brother and another part of our family which we are in love with.

I’m curious about the woman she’s going to become. The different stages of growth. Her style and attitude and how she’ll carry herself.  I think about this with both my children.  It’s an amazing thought that time will eventually reveal all.

I love my princess so much just like I love my son and I’m just so thankful that they have an amazing bond with each other even though it’s a year and 3 months apart. They go together like PB&J. Watching them together is like an amazing surreal movie. These interactions between her and her brother are  the best thing a mother could watch.

This little girl has brought something special to our family.  🙂

Time & Two

I can’t belive I have two children. It’s the most surreal thing before my eyes. One minute I’m pregnant with my first and TIME happens. The baby is born and he grows up to be his own little person. Next minute I’m pregnant with another and TIME let’s me realize “girl, you got two kids now.” … I was just pregnant, how is it that my baby girl is about to be two months old in 3 days! I mean WHAT, WHEN & HOW!

Time really does go by fast and you have to embrace every moment of it because it also waits for no one. I’m so grateful for my children, they have both shown me I can be a woman that I never knew.

My son Jaden is really the best big brother. He’s so caring of his little sister and he loves helping me help her which is so important. The only time he’s jealous is if he’s tired and I’m carrying her and he wants to be carried, otherwise he’s fantastic. Amongst him embracing that he’s not an only child anymore, he’s been doing some growing of his own. He speaks full proper sentences. He’s organized with his toys (even if the whole place looks scattered) he knows how to say “Please, Thank you and Sorry” (There’s an interesting “sorry” blog to come featuring his grandpa later this month) … he knows colors, he loves to read, he appreciates his classmates… the list goes on and on. I’m so proud of my boy and in two short amazing years this has all happened so I can only imagine what is to come. TIME will tell.

My little girl with her sweet angelic face, eyes barely open to open bat 🦇 eyes throughout the day and especially at night. She loves to smile, she’s extremely alert and she on the way with her motor skills in no time. She has amazing control with her head lifting up and she certainly knows how to kick a blanket off in a jiffy 😆 she’s growing so fast and I can’t wait till both of them are in motion because I know how much fun they will have together. She loves her milk and she drinks so much without missing a meal, she herself is ready to be a big girl! Already in size 1 diapers and 3 month old clothes TIME again is waiting for no one.

Seeing all these changes week by week, month by month & year by year, I’m just overwhelmed with gladness. There is so much in store for my children and for me as a mother.

Hello Baby.

She’s here! My sweet baby girl is finally here. 

I can’t believe I finally made it to the finish line! Such an exciting moment. Pregnancy is no easy breeze towards the end but I made it. 

I am so grateful and thankful to God. I had a successful delivery! Our baby girl was born in the evening of June 8th 2018 💗 (Which makes her little over two weeks old from the date of this blog 🙂

MY EPIDURAL WORKED which made such a difference from my first pregnancy. I mean it, the biggest difference ever. Giving birth without all that pain is like a smooth ride with a lot of pressure HOWEVER I still dealt with consequences afterwards because my neck was struck out and strained for a good week! I believe I was pushing my girl out with every muscle in my entire neck. It was awful & I couldn’t even enjoy my kids for the first few days which was awful! Thankfully the pain did go away and It’s back to our regular scheduled program  TIMES TWO!!! 

Ahhh! I have two amazing beautiful children, is this real life?! A Boy & A Girl! What a dream come true. 

I’m so thankful to have Papa Bear & my mother by my side once again. Papa bear was holding my hand like a real champion and once he heard his daughter cry / we all starting crying. I think I was crying during my last push… by the way (pat on my shoulder) under 5 min of pushing, that was it! Definitely a record for me because Jaden was about 15 min. 

& Now we’re back in the comfort of our home. Back to square one while on square two : baby and newborn. Two meals (breastmilk & chicken nuggets) Two diaper changes (Newborn & Pull-ups) Two sleep patterns – the list just goes on. It is more work but it’s an amazing thing I’m doing and I just feel so blessed. 

I will certainly blog about New sister/ Big Brother chapters so stay tuned but just so you know Jaden LOVES his sister just like we do & I’m so happy for that because I was so nervous about how he’ll take a new baby in the house. 

All is well 

😉 

Our home is filled with more love ❤️ 

We Couldn’t be happier. 

Sticky Like Honey.

This is my last blog before the new baby arrives and I couldn’t help but share how my son Jaden has been more clingy to me than ever.

Like glue. Like gum on your shoe. Like honey on stick. Sticky is his latest middle name. I completely understand. Two years of being an only child! All the attention to yourself, & now that’s all changing. He follows me around usually but now it’s at his highest peak. Just how young children hold your leg while you walk, similar to that. He wants to be carried every second everywhere and I can hardly go down the stairs without him asking me for a “Hug” which means carry me mommy.  All the while anyone else like papa bear or his nana who asked him to do something it’s “NO”! it’s all about mommy.

It’s definitely bitter sweet for both of us but I know everything will be alright after all his new best friend is on the way. His constant new buddy, someone who can eventually chase him around and he chases back. Read with, watch cartoons with, go on walks with etc etc endless activities. I myself already know all the places I want to take them both after my much needed after birth rest.

Children are so amazing because even though he’s seen my belly grow from nothing to a big, big ball, his whole energy can feel the arrival. I thought it’s because of the baby bottles and toys here and there but it’s just the energy. I’m very big on energy as an adult I can only imagine how children feel energy themselves.

My hospital bag is packed and I’m definitely ready for this pregnancy to end by the grace of God, safe and healthy. I can’t wait to have a new bundle in my arms and I especially can’t wait to see my children’s amazing bond grow before my eyes.

All will be well. I claim it and I thank God for my growing family 🙂

Preparing for two while there’s one……🌸It’s a girl🌸

Two years into being a mommy to my best buddy in the world my son Jaden. Papa Bear & I are expecting once again. 

🌸IT’S A GIRL🌸 !!! 

Wow! I can’t even believe this is happening. So many emotions. Is this real? Can I handle two kids? I’m still learning with Jaden & now we’re throwing in another whole child… just wow. 

The journey has been tough but magical at the same time. The beginning was very rough. Finding out I was pregnant again happened with my big sister Geraldine via FaceTime. I told her “my period hasn’t shown up yet & I have a test upstairs but it’s old” … “Go and get it and go buy another one so we can double check” She said. “OK” (20/30 min later) CONFIRMED! I am indeed pregnant. My sister was so excited and I kept on saying “oh my gosh, what do I do. Should I tell papa bear now or later.” Eventually I told him with giggles which he didn’t find funny at all but me laughing was the only way I could cope and tell him. His own emotions were all over the place. Initially he wasn’t in the best mood because he said “are we ready again?” And all I could say was “I don’t know”! 

Needless to say the next few weeks were very intense and confusing for both of us. I don’t believe in abortions but it was also so early that the fetus is barely formed. I went to the doctor to know my options and again abortion was brought up but also time had gone by going from when I found out to “you’re six weeks in” after a lot of prayer and faith – WE DEFINITELY MADE THE RIGHT DECISION. We are having the baby because God makes no mistakes. 

(Fast forward) all is well, baby girl is growing, emotions are up and down. My first trimester was a hot mess just like with Jaden. Sick like a dog, a lot of crying – not being able to brush my teeth without gagging and just praying I make to the second trimester where I can finally be happy and eat my life away. FINALLY … I get there. 

Trimester two. Bring out the credit card. Baby shopping, ordering this and that. “Oh this is cute and this and this” such a difference shopping for boys and girls. I love all the shorts and polos for my son but seeing the mini swimwear and dresses after paying attention to them got me looking forward to finally meeting this baby girl. I never paid attention to anything girl ever but now my eyes are literally moving at a 50-50 pace because I’m thinking “what can I get for her and what can I get for Jaden” it’s actually fun but it’s also breaking our wallets more 😅 

Now, since I know there’s an new baby on the way, the biggest task is getting Jaden to understand what is going on. As my bump gets bigger I also try to tell him “baby baby” “kiss baby” “baby sister” some days he’ll kiss the belly and some days he’ll smack the belly. I don’t know if he gets it but he’s been more clingy than ever and he’s noticed little baby toys around the house all of sudden. He knows he’s too big for the toys because he’s advanced. They are still appealing for him but when he tries to throw the “crawling ball” and I say no no! He’s confused in why is mommy telling me to roll this ball and not throw it. Children are very smart. I just know his vibes feel that something is coming. 

As a mom to be of two my goal is to split myself in half! I don’t even know how I’ll deal with it and of course I’ll blog about this experience when baby girl arrives. I just want to be amazing to both of them but Jaden is my best friend, my go to, my play buddy – how am I suppose to do this with two kids. I’ve asked mother’s of two and they said they felt the same way but once the second arrives everything just fell into perfect place and everyone is happy so I pray it’s the same for me. I’ll be so devastated if my little guy feels a certain way about his baby sister or if he feels neglected. I already know when she’s born – he’s taking a full week off school to see her every second and I can spend time with them both. Luckily newborns don’t do much but feed & sleep but even then I need Jaden to see that she’s here to stay. I’ve seen him with other babies and he’s done great so I don’t doubt he’ll love his sister and they’ll be best buddies forever especially as she gets older. Jokingly I’m prepared for his slaps because when he sees her on my breasts which once belonged just to him, he might put up a fight 😂  besides the general talks of what’s on the way, I’ve also tried to get him to understand with pictures and stories. I ordered him a personalized big brother book which hopefully will help also. His name and face are in it and it describes all the responsibility a big brother has! I love online. You can find everything. He’s had personalized books in the past and he learned very fast from them. 

The final countdown has begun. Less than a month to go and my big boy toddler love of my life Jaden will no longer be a single child. He’s had a great time. He’s always going to be my best buddy and I believe this is such a great experience not just for him but for papa bear and I. Our family is expanding. We’ve been married for one year & I see the future being bright.

I thank God for everything & I pray I get continued strength to keep being a better mom to my children. It really takes a village to raise a child and I’m thankful for the advice and help I’ve got along the way but I’m very proud of myself because I went from knowing nothing to mothering two & seeing how well my son is growing and learning before my eyes, I’ve been doing something right. 

Cheers to the next chapter 🥂 

Toddler VS Toothbrush

Brushing teeth! Brushing little toddler teeth, who would have thought it’d be such a pain.

My son loves the brushing teeth song on tv, he even copies the movements with his little finger so why oh why can’t you do it for real? *Sigh* I’ve tried my best to make it a fun activity even to show him how I do it but he simply refuses. Brushing teeth has become a battle for me and the only way I manage it is if I force him by me holding his mouth open and quickly brushing up and down with squealing and crying 😢 “Nothing to cry about Jaden! You have to do it” while he looks at me with his sad puppy eyes.

The days he finally wants hold on to the toothbrush and asks for toothpaste, what does he do… swallows it up, sucks the brush around and puts the toothbrush right back down.

At this point, I’m about done with this game but of course I can’t  give up my little guy because I know eventually he’ll get it. In the mean time I have asked for advice from three people and here was their  solutions:

1.  It’s time to go back to the AFRICAN ROOTS! Cotton wool with toothpaste. Suggestion from papa bear. He said “That’s how it used to get done for us, and it worked”

2. Buy a mini battery operated toothbrush which he can hold and it’ll seem fun – this suggestion came from my son’s grandpa.

3. Sing a song. A suggestion from my cousin Angela whose toothbrush song for her boys is “The Ants go marching one by one” – she also expressed how it’s still a challenge for her but her lovely boys are getting it and I’m sure the song is a bonus because now they associate the tune with TOOTHBRUSHING.

I will try each of these methods and hopefully I can get my little toddler to finally cooperate. We really need this to work because his little breath is starting to stank especially after little naps and in the morning, sheesh! Lol he’s lucky I love him if not I’d never stand for it 😂😂😂

Luckily for me, no cavities in sight just yet. “COME ON JADEN, you can do it”

Have you got any methods of your own in your households moms and Dads? Please share.

A nostalgic experience at Disney World.

I can’t believe this day had finally come around. Taking my son to Disney World! Words are hard to express it but I’ll try my best.

Years ago my parents had taken my sisters & myself on this endless adventure & I remember it by these classic video tapes I never stopped watching. I was so small, and my mom would stroll me around with my two sisters walking side by side and the cam corder in my fathers hands. I remember it, the laughs and sisters mocks and “it’s a small world” and so much more…. & now it’s my turn as an adult, a mother & a wife. Wow!!!

I was so excited, probably more than my son who is two in just a few days (we thank God) My husband who has never experienced this Disney Magic was also in Awe almost in disbelief that a place could really take you out of the “real world” for a whole day. I told him before “This is a dream world” & funny that the Disney saying is “Where Dreams Come True”

We did it all, walked for hours, ate turkey legs, popcorn, went on the any age rides (surprisingly the lines were all amazing and fast) & shout out to Disney free Fast pass which helped also. We saw the parade, Our son met his two favorite characters the gorgeous Mrs Minnie Mouse and Daisy, saw the amazing castle & other beautiful backdrops…

What a day it was. We ended this amazing day with the finale firework show assisted by graphics and Disney music and I never felt so emotional in my whole life! I almost cried because it was surreal and nostalgic. The memories of my own childhood flushed over me and to be in this magical kingdom with my own family – really was dream come true.

My son, husband and I had the time of our lives and my son might not remember it fully in a few years but thankfully I captured some amazing moments on my camera just as my father did years ago. Technology definitely has its advantages 🙂

Our son took to the place very well & although Disney World does cost a lot of money (being frankly honest) to see the look on your child’s  face is worth every last penny!

I encourage all parents to take this trip at least once & more than if you can. The place is huge. We were only one amusement and water park in and there are still three more to explore & in a few years I hope to do them all again.

Thank you Walt Disney ❤️