Uncomfortable encounter.

As a black woman with a black husband and son, I am no stranger to what could possibly go on if we get stopped by the police. I know everyone has their own different opinions but I go by what I see not by what I hear.

Not too long ago in Ghana I got pulled over for no reason, I provided my drivers license and those idiots said “you don’t have an international permit.” So long story short, they took my license away. I wasn’t too bothered because it was about to expire and in one week I knew I could get a brand new one in the United States.

The only reason I hated the encounter was because in the midst of me having a missing document the police officer said “I have to arrest you.” I said “I’m not going anywhere and don’t you EVER speak to me like that in front of my children.” Once I said this, the officers eyes go big, he stretched his neck and saw both my children in the back and because of what he said, my son started crying. I was so pissed off!!!! Eventually they let me go and I left.

I couldn’t help but think about this encounter and how different it would have been if my children and I were in America.

Moving forward, I am back in the USA and just four days ago, I was driving my car. Nothing wrong, no speeding – nothing wrong at all but when I looked in my rear view mirror, who was behind me. The police. They were just there. We were both waiting for the light to change but the most eerie feeling came over my body. I was so nervous, my anxiety kicked in and my heart started pounding, literally pounding – I could hear my heartbeat in my ears and then I said out loud to myself “This is so sad, so so so sad.” The light turned green and we both went our own way.

I honestly couldn’t believe how scared I was seeing the police behind me and I did nothing. Isn’t that just the most awful thing. The police who we are suppose to make me feel protected rather put me in shock. I was genuinely sad for myself and I am a strong black woman. I can only imagine what others go through.

the point of me sharing is because there is a lot going on in our society, matter of fact, their always is but the bottom line is, people should be able to go through life with ease! & not this stress, I feel for many that are seen as minorities, we definitely have to move differently unfortunately weather we like it or not.

The Nerve. (A real story)

It’s already hard enough taking care of a baby then you have to image taking your precious baby out with you. It consists of a lot…. diapers, food, bibs, teething toys, milk and water – a never ending check list not to mention car seat and stroller (mind you I don’t have a car so everywhere I go, it’s Uber everywhere)

Shortly after giving birth I noticed that a lot of my hair was falling out. I heard this could happen. Kind of like when you loose the face glow. It was really frustrating and I got fed up with having to deal with the shedding. There was literally nothing I could do. It got to the point where I made the decision : I am going to cut my hair. How short?! Who knows but that’s all I wanted to do. I seem to be Miss research. I like to know everything before I do something. I had gone on social media every day for hours looking at all the cuts and styles I wanted and made sure I could find someone who could do the cut very well. Finally after sometime I found someone (unfortunately I forgot their name… aren’t they lucky ) I texted their number, told them what I wanted to do, sent pictures & I tried to get an appointment. After four long days of me just wanted to rip my hair out I finally got an official time and date where I could make this big change, I was looking forward to so much.

Going back to what I said at the top, it’s not always easy moving around with a baby. Once baby Jaden and I were ready to go, I called an Uber and we were in the car for almost 30 to 40 minutes. It was a long journey to the hair shop and unfortunately my apartment was no where close. I get there, I’m excited, ready to whip out my phone and show this “professional stylist” *eye roll* what I like … he walks over to me and says “Oh you have a baby, WE DON’T ALLOW BABIES WHILE YOU’RE GETTING YOU HAIR DONE.” You can already imagine the look on my face!!! I was fuming I had to take 5 minutes just to composed how angry I was! I finally asked in a harsh voice “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T ALLOW CHILDREN? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!! MY BABY IS SLEEPING IN HIS STROLLER AND HE’S NOT GOING TO MOVE” and lastly “WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING BEFORE ALL THIS.”

I couldn’t believe what this guy was saying to me. I wish I knew more people so I could call a news crew and tell everyone how they were totally discriminating against me. I felt insulted, I felt hurt and I felt like I wasted so much of my time. I even asked to speak to the manager who wasn’t any help at all. It was at this very moment I understood why some parents really fight for their children’s rights. How can I get penalized for having a baby as if he was going to touch something and cause a ruckus. It was completely out of line and unprofessional on their part especially for not informing me before. I had even asked the guy why did you make me waste all my time especially knowing I lived far away and his stupid response was “oh sorry, I didn’t know you had a kid” and THEN to add insult to injury he had THE NERVE to say “most of my clients don’t have kids.” (Insert multiple f bombs) I had enough of this place. I literally couldn’t look at him in the face because an African palm slap was 10 seconds away. I called an Uber who luckily was close by and I left that disgraceful salon.

I’ll never forget this day. It was one of the worst new mother experiences I have had so far & I pray I don’t have to deal with it ever again or at least as little as possible. I’ve learnt my lesson that although it’s nobodies business to know if I have a child or not I’ll be sure to mention it before I make any type of appointments so I can know the policies. The happy ending of the story is I found someone to cut my hair who happily accepted having my son hang around in his stroller while it got done (if you’re ever in the Atlanta area her name is Brandy and her Salon is called IMAGE IS EVERYTHING) that’s real customer service for you.

To all the parents out there, I don’t wish you come across situations like this one, ever.

The end.