Keeping it real with Coco 💕

As some of you may know and not know, when i’m not “mommy-ing…” I am sometimes focus on my singing career. yes! I am also an artist who goes by the name Coco Benson (music available on all streaming platforms and Youtube) & yes my children know ALL my songs (even the unreleased) lol 😂 Anyways, to follow that part of my life, you would need to follow me on Instagram. My account name is @CocoBenson_

Not too long ago, I started an Instagram series called “keeping it real with Coco.” Every week once or twice I try and go live and talk about everything real. There’s no shortage of topics. I wanted to introduce everyone on here to that because it’s a way for you to know who had been behind this blog for all these years and again, I thank everyone that has liked my stuff and shared their thoughts, we don’t know each other but I appreciate you just as much that you take the time to read what I think and read my personal opinions about this motherhood journey.

Keeping it real with Coco is an in-depth conversation as I said about real matters. If you’re ever interested, you can always join me live to watch and chime into and episode or you can follow me or not follow me lol and still watch my show on IGTV.

See you there, don’t be shy, it’s a free and open space.

Rant alert* Wild is an understatement.

This morning as I’m doing my mommy morning duties, waking the kids up, trying to clean the kitchen and make them fresh juice 🥤 don’t worry it’s not as glamorous as it seems! both of them are fighting a cold and cough 😷 while I myself am trying to protect myself! It’s been a very busy morning.

My kids and I have been in the house for a whole week straight! I’m restless, they are restless but I refuse to let them go anywhere until they are better, I don’t want to be “that inpatient mother” who got other children sick! So we’re staying put.

As I watch their restlessness day by day, children need to be free. The house is clean and then in an hour it’s not! They always have to move and do something, even when I make them do their school work, it’s still NOT enough. This restlessness has cause them to go above and beyond and frankly, I can’t take it but… I have no choice. I just hope these symptoms subside soon so we can get back to our regular scheduled (non sneezing and coughing) program.

I’m sure you’re wondering what those two blank pages are. Going back to 10 min ago, with me cleaning up. I went to open my dishwasher and I saw these two pages. When I tell you this is the wildest thing I have ever seen in motherhood tool date! They were pictures. Two lovely pictures which I had in the living room! I HAVE NO CLUE HOW AND WHY THEY ENDED UP IN MY DISHWASHER CYCLE BUT THE COLORFUL SMILES OF THOSE PICTURES GOT WASHED AWAY ALONG WITH DIRTY PLATES! I’m in disbelief! Wild! I have a feeling a know exactly which child of mine is responsible but what can I do.

Restlessness is a very bad thing for both adults and children my dear readers. It leaves the mind to do questionable things lol

rant over.

Tune in soon for our Disney Trip details (Post COVID)

Amazing Interactions.

Our family decided to go to the park. Everyone around us was having a good time, the sun was starting to set, it was just a lovely summer evening.

After a nice walk, we finally got to the playground and I couldn’t help but smile and feel genuinely happy about seeing all the children interact with each other, including my own. I honestly forget about COVID and caution. All I could hear is laughter and all I could see was positive energy.

What led me to write today was the fact that while my son was playing, a boy a bit older than him asked to play. He first approached him while my son was on the swing set and he said while I was pushing my daughter, “is this your son?” I said yes. then he asked my son, “Can I push you?.” At first my son said no, and the boy said “why not” and proceeded to push.

He enjoyed it and they were both laughing at how high he could push him on the swing. Afterwards, the boy turned around and said “do you want to play hot lava?, let’s go and don’t touch the ground.” And they were off.

This whole interaction made me smile and I was just observing. I was so fascinated by it, I even told papa bear “how amazing is this.”

It’s so important for children to be around each other because they can relate to each other in so many ways and their imaginations have no limits. I’ve seen my children play that game in our home, so I know my son was excited finding out someone else knows the same game.

How can people not learn from children, I literally said to myself, no wonder God loves children because they are just so fascinating to watch. They have different personalities, they are all trying to figure out themselves and how to do something, constantly. It doesn’t matter if it’s learning at school, just building up confidence to speak to others, or do something which will encourage another.

I cherish these learning moments from my children.

My last thought of this is, the happiness of being together. I am so glad that the world is slowly going back to how it used to be because I could tell that children missed each other and I could see how many parents were happy to be outside fully with their kids, including myself. We stay cautious of course but we are some what “free” again.

In less than 24 hrs

The family is back in America! The kids are back from Ghana after one year. There were so many tears leaving to the airport from their Nanny and I’m sure their Nana. I say I’m sure because I didn’t see her cry but I just know she did. She’s been with her grandkids for a whole year. Her home went from a loud/loving cheerful kid zone to a quiet zone. No kids in sight… I told her not to be sad because it’s only temporary & she has so much going on it, time will fly and she’ll see her babies again.

As for me….

It’s time for me to mommy again! Between the flying with the kids (which they did great by the way… no crying, a little restlessness but only at the very end) I also flew with Papa bear so that made things a little bit easier… Immigration said nothing at all which was surprising because they have been away so long… They both had a look of excitement but also a tiny bit of sadness. They’ve been in Ghana and around certain people for months and now they’re back to a different environment with certain memories they may or may not remember.

We’ve moved yet again so they hadn’t even seen anything around us & surprisingly, my son kept on talking about our previous place and I kept on telling him that we don’t live there anymore. My daughter doesn’t understand the concept of destination yet but I know she absolutely misses her Nana.

Seeing my kids in our new place so surreal. Now our place is the loud & happy zone. There are toys everywhere, I’m cleaning up after them and doing all the things that a mother should do. It’s natural instinct for me so I know exactly what I’m doing but I’m also thinking to myself, wow this is so much work and I can’t believe I used to do this before on my own.

The biggest difference is the fact that now my children are older which means, I have to deal with two different characters, two different emotions and two different needs at the same time. It can be very demanding and they don’t understand that I need them to patient with me and each other. I’m convinced that I hear my name “mom” 100 times a day if not more.

I’m so happy to have my children back in our home but I would by lying if I said it’s been a “walk in the park.” I just have to keep remembering why I took a back step, to be with my children! To make the lasting memories in their heads which my father/their grandfather told me. It’s about what they remember while they are growing up and they won’t forget you being and doing many things for them. This actually make perfect sense because memories last but time does not.

Our routine starts once again and I’ll keep you updated along the way.

Distance makes the heart.

Mommy is finally back!

I missed my babies so much! Their love and affection, their smiles and laughs, their bond, I just missed everything about them. 

I got in two days ago early in the morning, the moment I stepped in the door first thing I heard was my son crying and saying my name. It was so emotional, he was so overcome with joy he couldn’t believe that I had finally made it home and not just me, Papa bear too. This was the absolute best feeling in the whole wide world I can hardly explain it. There’s something between a bond with parents and their children that is so amazing and so beautiful. I’ve been away for almost a month again, maybe a bit less but all I know is I am so happy to be around the two loves of my life!

I mentioned before, I don’t want to miss any moments of anything and I’ve already made so many more memories with them in such a short period of time. They’ve grown so much, they are talking better, they are writing and they are so intelligent. I can’t believe my eyes and ears. I will absolutely not miss any moments so long as I don’t have to.

I already made the decision that I’m going to cut back on work because it’s almost unbearable, these days, I need to be with my children. These are the moments that they will remember and these are the times where I need to be around for them no matter what.

I pray God continues to provide for my family and continues to protect us as we grow and I know everything will work out for the better. 

My children are my life and although I also have a life outside of my children there’s nothing like their unconditional love. We are growing together and we are learning together and I’m just so excited to be in their presence once again. How I’ve missed these two voices.

The bond is so strong & for the past three days even the slightest separation, needing to go do something, they are both afraid that I’m going and I won’t come back again… it makes me feel some kind of way but I tell them “mommy isn’t going anywhere, not this time and when mommy does go somewhere, you’re coming with me.” then their face is light right back up. 

Life is so precious, and the most important thing is making memories and that’s what I plan to do. I’ve always been a hands-on mom, I do a lot of things with the children. I feel like I’m stepping into a new zone with them I look forward to everything that is to come.

Cheers to motherhood 🥂

A special message from my son via talk to text 

“Thank you airplans for bringing Mommy back I love mommy Barry so much, I love you in the whole wide wide mommy. When I when she gives me something I like when she give me snacks and food I will eat it but the things I don’t want to eat I want mommy to give me nice food. I love mommy so much.”

Big girl Jada 💞

The other day I got a message in my what’s app from my nanny. She said “I have a surprise for you.” I couldn’t guess what it was at all so I basically said tell me, with anticipation. It was a video of my sweet baby girl Jada writing ✍️!!!!!!!! I was in shock. It was a beautiful surprise to see.

I honestly couldn’t believe my eyes. She was holding the pencil perfectly, her other hand was placed on her workbook so it wouldn’t slide and she could trace her big and small letter (E,e’s).

Child development really happens in such a short period of time and the most important factor is her watching and learning mentally before going about it by herself! This is amazing. Jaden gets a lot of workbook tracing letter activities and when I do homework with him, she always said, “where is my own” which sometimes I had and sometimes I didn’t. She has been mentally preparing for this moment and she reached her own personal achievement when she finally got the chance, isn’t that just beautiful.

I am extremely proud of both of my children. They learn an incredible amount from each other as I would imagine. My son has now turned 5 and he just started picking up his writing skills towards the end of his four year old era! I would be lying if I didn’t say to myself “when will he start” but the minute school opened back up (another blog for another day) he picked it up and a few short weeks! I was just as happy for him as I am for my daughter and children develops skills at different times, the only difference is that she has started at the end of her 2 year old era on the way to age 3.

I end this blog by saying, let your children pick skills up without pressure. The new mom always wants to say “why is my child not doing this yet.” The veteran mom says “they WILL get it” and guess what, they do & you’ll be so proud of those moments when they do come about.

Dear Jaden. I love you and I am sorry.

Happy New Year everyone, I hope you are all well, I hope you have all adjusted to our new way of living (a blog for another day) what I can say is, let’s thank God we have made it this far…. always thankful and grateful for that.

You will not believe me when I tell you that my boy is 5 years old now! Yup…. he is the reason I started this blog on the first place, to let you in on my life and how it is with everything I am going through. I’m not always consistent with it but HEY! That’s life and I have things going on that sometimes I forget to blog about.

As I said, my baby (not so baby) turned 5 years old! I have been a mother for five whole years! I can’t believe it. Where did time the time fly? Where did it go… Jaden is so intelligent, caring, such a unique individual, kind and just the most amazing big brother to his younger sister. I know I have touched on these things before but honestly, I see the growth and changes in him. My boy is five!!!!!!! It’s such an honor being his mother and I’m so blessed to have him has one of the loves of my life.

We threw him a water theme birthday party, his favorite. He wanted a dinosaur cake, more specifically a Godzilla cake. I absolutely organized that and shout out to the cake maker (Cake My Day) who did a wonderful job pulling it off… I was worried but she’s great. His friends were there, his dad, his sister and auntie and uncle‘s… I heard it was a wonderful day!

Yep, I heard it was a wonderful day…

I wasn’t there, I was in America. I had to work and I was absolutely devastated and quite frankly I still am. These moments mean the world to me and I don’t like missing anything that has something to do with my children especially when it’s significant. It was an awful day for me at work I was crying and I was emotional and it really put a lot of things into perspective for me. Last year I had a blog called working mommy, a little bit of what I did and how it balances out but honestly I’m definitely taking a break from work because missing Jaden‘s birthday really made me sad. He’s completely forgotten about it but I haven’t forgotten about it in my soul and that’s why in my title for this blog is what it is.

you can’t get these moments back and making memories with my children is the most important thing to me amongst other things. If that means I have to put work on hold to be there… be present and make sure I don’t miss more moments, then so be it. I’ve already spoken to papa bear about how I feel and he completely understands and I know that he will always take care of us… He always has and always will.

I just wanted something for my own and I think it’s important for women to always have something of their own no matter what it is but when it comes down to my children, they absolutely come first.

The way I look at it is, so long as I haven’t burned any of the bridges of what I do then I’m perfectly fine with spending time with my children. I am a real hands-on mom. Even my daughter, she’s growing so beautifully and she is coming into her own and she too is intelligent and I want to be there for every single second of it even with the mommy moments that we all get of “I need a break.”

I might’ve lost sight a little bit… I know in life we have to do what we have to do. Me working was not in vain because it was for my children but again missing my son‘s birthday just change the perspective of a lot of things as I said.

Mommy loves you so much buddy and I know he’s forgotten but I just need a little bit more time to forgive myself.

Take back yourself Mama ❤️

This will be my last post having anything to do with our Bali trip and this is a post about me.

While in paradise for a short two weeks, I’ve never felt so good as a mommy. I really felt free and I was loving every bit of my curves and stomach and stretch marks like never before for myself! There’s something about vacations that make you feel more free than ever. Have you noticed that? Have you ever looked at anyone’s vacation pictures and see more of them than usual? It’s because of the freedom and relief to just be away. I love it!!

Remember in my previous blog I said I had a nanny and because of that it helped me “live my best mama life” I mean it. Going on vacation with kids is hardly a break because they will always be just as needy there just as home but I was enjoying myself.

Having two kids. I’m Twenty-nine, my body isn’t like it used to be when I was 18 (flat stomach, no ass, no breast, just lanky and tall) but NOW I have a full woman body. Hips and thighs, stretch marks and a tummy pouch which some days is bigger than others, I still have small breasts (I’ve accepted this fate lol) but yes my body is totally different. When you have children you need to find the balance to take care of them and take care of yourself. It’s not always easy especially when they are newborn but I’m dealing with a 1 1/2 year old and three year old. It’s amazing how much you can do & feel great about it. I feel like I can be super mom and still “slay” on! To feel like this as a mom takes time but I’ve reached that point where I know it’s just going to get better.

You keep yourself sexy and confident for yourself first & then for your husband! When you’re confident in your body, you’re even more attractive because they also see the glow shining within from the outside. I’m so lucky papa bear appreciates my body exactly how it is because I don’t have to hide behind something I am not. I just get to show my sexy on my terms and he enjoys and appreciates that. I pray none of you have to deal with an asshole, who shams you in any type of way as a mother, if they do F THEM 🖕🏼 You are beautiful! You gave life and you are EVERYTHING you are supposed to be.

When you get to the point where you’re ready to take back yourself! Do so without hesitation. We are all adults now. Who the heck is going to tell you anything?! Honestly. Don’t let these kids take over your life to the point where you can’t even feel good about yourself and don’t let them steal your mama shine! You are the maker and creator of them. “Give dem” (as we say in broken English) I know it takes a while to get to this place but YOU WILL AND CAN GET THERE and you’ll love it. Yes, some days or a lot of days you may just want to chill and that’s okay too because that’s life but anytime you want to show out… SHOW ALL THE WAY OUT HONEY 🍯

Time & Two

I can’t belive I have two children. It’s the most surreal thing before my eyes. One minute I’m pregnant with my first and TIME happens. The baby is born and he grows up to be his own little person. Next minute I’m pregnant with another and TIME let’s me realize “girl, you got two kids now.” … I was just pregnant, how is it that my baby girl is about to be two months old in 3 days! I mean WHAT, WHEN & HOW!

Time really does go by fast and you have to embrace every moment of it because it also waits for no one. I’m so grateful for my children, they have both shown me I can be a woman that I never knew.

My son Jaden is really the best big brother. He’s so caring of his little sister and he loves helping me help her which is so important. The only time he’s jealous is if he’s tired and I’m carrying her and he wants to be carried, otherwise he’s fantastic. Amongst him embracing that he’s not an only child anymore, he’s been doing some growing of his own. He speaks full proper sentences. He’s organized with his toys (even if the whole place looks scattered) he knows how to say “Please, Thank you and Sorry” (There’s an interesting “sorry” blog to come featuring his grandpa later this month) … he knows colors, he loves to read, he appreciates his classmates… the list goes on and on. I’m so proud of my boy and in two short amazing years this has all happened so I can only imagine what is to come. TIME will tell.

My little girl with her sweet angelic face, eyes barely open to open bat 🦇 eyes throughout the day and especially at night. She loves to smile, she’s extremely alert and she on the way with her motor skills in no time. She has amazing control with her head lifting up and she certainly knows how to kick a blanket off in a jiffy 😆 she’s growing so fast and I can’t wait till both of them are in motion because I know how much fun they will have together. She loves her milk and she drinks so much without missing a meal, she herself is ready to be a big girl! Already in size 1 diapers and 3 month old clothes TIME again is waiting for no one.

Seeing all these changes week by week, month by month & year by year, I’m just overwhelmed with gladness. There is so much in store for my children and for me as a mother.

Hello Baby.

She’s here! My sweet baby girl is finally here. 

I can’t believe I finally made it to the finish line! Such an exciting moment. Pregnancy is no easy breeze towards the end but I made it. 

I am so grateful and thankful to God. I had a successful delivery! Our baby girl was born in the evening of June 8th 2018 💗 (Which makes her little over two weeks old from the date of this blog 🙂

MY EPIDURAL WORKED which made such a difference from my first pregnancy. I mean it, the biggest difference ever. Giving birth without all that pain is like a smooth ride with a lot of pressure HOWEVER I still dealt with consequences afterwards because my neck was struck out and strained for a good week! I believe I was pushing my girl out with every muscle in my entire neck. It was awful & I couldn’t even enjoy my kids for the first few days which was awful! Thankfully the pain did go away and It’s back to our regular scheduled program  TIMES TWO!!! 

Ahhh! I have two amazing beautiful children, is this real life?! A Boy & A Girl! What a dream come true. 

I’m so thankful to have Papa Bear & my mother by my side once again. Papa bear was holding my hand like a real champion and once he heard his daughter cry / we all starting crying. I think I was crying during my last push… by the way (pat on my shoulder) under 5 min of pushing, that was it! Definitely a record for me because Jaden was about 15 min. 

& Now we’re back in the comfort of our home. Back to square one while on square two : baby and newborn. Two meals (breastmilk & chicken nuggets) Two diaper changes (Newborn & Pull-ups) Two sleep patterns – the list just goes on. It is more work but it’s an amazing thing I’m doing and I just feel so blessed. 

I will certainly blog about New sister/ Big Brother chapters so stay tuned but just so you know Jaden LOVES his sister just like we do & I’m so happy for that because I was so nervous about how he’ll take a new baby in the house. 

All is well 

😉 

Our home is filled with more love ❤️ 

We Couldn’t be happier. 

Sticky Like Honey.

This is my last blog before the new baby arrives and I couldn’t help but share how my son Jaden has been more clingy to me than ever.

Like glue. Like gum on your shoe. Like honey on stick. Sticky is his latest middle name. I completely understand. Two years of being an only child! All the attention to yourself, & now that’s all changing. He follows me around usually but now it’s at his highest peak. Just how young children hold your leg while you walk, similar to that. He wants to be carried every second everywhere and I can hardly go down the stairs without him asking me for a “Hug” which means carry me mommy.  All the while anyone else like papa bear or his nana who asked him to do something it’s “NO”! it’s all about mommy.

It’s definitely bitter sweet for both of us but I know everything will be alright after all his new best friend is on the way. His constant new buddy, someone who can eventually chase him around and he chases back. Read with, watch cartoons with, go on walks with etc etc endless activities. I myself already know all the places I want to take them both after my much needed after birth rest.

Children are so amazing because even though he’s seen my belly grow from nothing to a big, big ball, his whole energy can feel the arrival. I thought it’s because of the baby bottles and toys here and there but it’s just the energy. I’m very big on energy as an adult I can only imagine how children feel energy themselves.

My hospital bag is packed and I’m definitely ready for this pregnancy to end by the grace of God, safe and healthy. I can’t wait to have a new bundle in my arms and I especially can’t wait to see my children’s amazing bond grow before my eyes.

All will be well. I claim it and I thank God for my growing family 🙂