Keeping the Love alive.

Once you have a baby most of your attention is on your precious new bundle of joy. Of course it is, as a mother you were carrying this child for 9 months. You’ve been through the waddling and the heartburn, all of that including giving birth so at the end when you see that tiny little face it’s like *Deep breath* (I did it!!) Even for fathers, you’ve also been on your toes for 9 months, making sure your child is doing perfectly fine and is eating well and the excitement of just seeing your daughter or son is uncontainable & then you finally do it’s like *Deep breath* (there is my child) for both man and woman it’s just a love that you can not explain.

Putting precious baby to the side, it’s really important we remember our partners. Having a child is a two way street and both parents should always make an effort to keep the romance and spark alive.

I’ve already explained how it takes women sometime because we won’t feel like ourselves right away but even at that, men… you should always support your woman. Tell her she’s beautiful, tell her thank you, give her flowers or give her some foot massages or even run a bath. It’s all about the little gesture that sparks the love. Do anything that makes your woman happy, even if it’s something you don’t like to do, for her just do it because it’ll me a lot & to my women…As the mothers we do have to deal with a lot and we can get tired so quickly but we must also must not forget that our partners need love too and we can contribute to the spark by cooking his favorite meal, back massages, treating him to something he really enjoys doing and anything else that might contribute to happiness. On top of all that don’t neglect the love making. That connection and bond between two is very strong and important. Yes our children are a big distraction but intimacy is necessary. Don’t get so caught up that it forgets to happen because it will cause unnecessary tension. It’s good to release those feelings because after all, we did make a child together so as a couple it’s something to really enjoy.

Now on a truthful note, I know not everyone might not be in a relationship, and that’s perfectly alright. What’s really important is also self love. Whether you’re a single mother or a single father that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take care of yourself. What makes you happy? What is something you have always wanted to do? Whatever those things are find time to do them. There’s a reason that nannies exist. Even if you feel like I’ve had a child and I feel great but I want to meet somebody new, well alright then spoil yourself and go out on a date… It can be anything, just make sure you don’t loose yourself.

Keeping the love alive can mean different things to all of us but it’s all about taking action and I sincerely believe that if you can keep the flame burning whether big or small everything can be a whole lot more enjoyable. Parenthood won’t be felt as burden but a blessings with amazing perks.

I’d love to read some of your own “spark methods” to keeping the love alive in your home. Feel free to share.

The Nerve. (A real story)

It’s already hard enough taking care of a baby then you have to image taking your precious baby out with you. It consists of a lot…. diapers, food, bibs, teething toys, milk and water – a never ending check list not to mention car seat and stroller (mind you I don’t have a car so everywhere I go, it’s Uber everywhere)

Shortly after giving birth I noticed that a lot of my hair was falling out. I heard this could happen. Kind of like when you loose the face glow. It was really frustrating and I got fed up with having to deal with the shedding. There was literally nothing I could do. It got to the point where I made the decision : I am going to cut my hair. How short?! Who knows but that’s all I wanted to do. I seem to be Miss research. I like to know everything before I do something. I had gone on social media every day for hours looking at all the cuts and styles I wanted and made sure I could find someone who could do the cut very well. Finally after sometime I found someone (unfortunately I forgot their name… aren’t they lucky ) I texted their number, told them what I wanted to do, sent pictures & I tried to get an appointment. After four long days of me just wanted to rip my hair out I finally got an official time and date where I could make this big change, I was looking forward to so much.

Going back to what I said at the top, it’s not always easy moving around with a baby. Once baby Jaden and I were ready to go, I called an Uber and we were in the car for almost 30 to 40 minutes. It was a long journey to the hair shop and unfortunately my apartment was no where close. I get there, I’m excited, ready to whip out my phone and show this “professional stylist” *eye roll* what I like … he walks over to me and says “Oh you have a baby, WE DON’T ALLOW BABIES WHILE YOU’RE GETTING YOU HAIR DONE.” You can already imagine the look on my face!!! I was fuming I had to take 5 minutes just to composed how angry I was! I finally asked in a harsh voice “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T ALLOW CHILDREN? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!! MY BABY IS SLEEPING IN HIS STROLLER AND HE’S NOT GOING TO MOVE” and lastly “WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING BEFORE ALL THIS.”

I couldn’t believe what this guy was saying to me. I wish I knew more people so I could call a news crew and tell everyone how they were totally discriminating against me. I felt insulted, I felt hurt and I felt like I wasted so much of my time. I even asked to speak to the manager who wasn’t any help at all. It was at this very moment I understood why some parents really fight for their children’s rights. How can I get penalized for having a baby as if he was going to touch something and cause a ruckus. It was completely out of line and unprofessional on their part especially for not informing me before. I had even asked the guy why did you make me waste all my time especially knowing I lived far away and his stupid response was “oh sorry, I didn’t know you had a kid” and THEN to add insult to injury he had THE NERVE to say “most of my clients don’t have kids.” (Insert multiple f bombs) I had enough of this place. I literally couldn’t look at him in the face because an African palm slap was 10 seconds away. I called an Uber who luckily was close by and I left that disgraceful salon.

I’ll never forget this day. It was one of the worst new mother experiences I have had so far & I pray I don’t have to deal with it ever again or at least as little as possible. I’ve learnt my lesson that although it’s nobodies business to know if I have a child or not I’ll be sure to mention it before I make any type of appointments so I can know the policies. The happy ending of the story is I found someone to cut my hair who happily accepted having my son hang around in his stroller while it got done (if you’re ever in the Atlanta area her name is Brandy and her Salon is called IMAGE IS EVERYTHING) that’s real customer service for you.

To all the parents out there, I don’t wish you come across situations like this one, ever.

The end.