The trip we absolutely needed 💚🤍💚

The children and I just came back from a quick trip to Lagos, Nigeria and it was everything it was meant to be.

Family means a lot to me and for months I’ve been planning to see my cousin and her daughters and other family members. . . Something had to give because every time we tried to plan, it was always something blocking it (ticket prices/ Covid test travel fees, school schedules) as I said, it was always something.

I decided to make a move. Yes, there was a few days missed of school, but we booked and left. Seeing my family was the most wonderful experience ever, it was such a bonding and reminiscing moment. I just found myself looking around the room and just seeing so many beautiful things. … It was so priceless.

I am very close to one of my cousin’s and I couldn’t wait for the moment that my children, finally met her children. She hadn’t even met my daughter yet! & the last time she saw my son, he was just a baby! Now look how big everyone is.

The theme was definitely hearts everywhere! That’s all it was, my heart was full, and it is very much full.

Sometimes we can get so caught up in our own lives, we forget about what’s important. Family is important. Keeping God first is important. These are special and matter to me. What I took from this trip is i don’t want to be away from my family long.

My children had a blast, papa bear even surprised us there, which I did not expect, like I said – it was just everything it needed to be.

Traveling is so expensive these days which is another blog post on it’s own soon to come lol but, there are certain trips that are priceless.

And here we are yet again.

I’m back on the road !!! I left early March and now we are in April. Sigh* I miss my kids so much I don’t even want to think about it. Thank God for FaceTime, I don’t know how I would cope otherwise. Do you remember my blog about being a traveling + working mommy, this time has come again.

First of all, NO MISSING OF THE BIRTHDAY’S MOM GUILT 😮‍💨 you know how that ate me alive last time for almost a year. Before leaving for work this time, I threw my son an amazing birthday party which he loved. He was happy, his sister was happy, I was happy! Wins all around.

Being a contractor has so many advantages, it’s really the freedom I have to control my life which is why I love it, but… it still really sucks to be away from my children. I’m so sad 😞 but, I’m trying to put it to the side to keep pushing. Due to Covid a lot of work was pushed back last year so this this year, it’s a zig zag of work, back to back! It’s NEVER been like this and I couldn’t pass up this opportunity. The days are going by but I’m still not sure if they are fast or not… I just can’t wait till I’m on my last contract in this last stretch of Q2, so I can be with my babies and continue to work on the other things I was doing.

I tell myself “hang in there.” I go this. I know I do but it’s also tough. Maybe it’s time for me to look for remote work so I can stay home more and take less contracts! I’m really going to look into this, sigh* I need to. I pray God shows me the way to go.

Anyways, my daughters birthday is coming up next and I WILL NOT MISS THAT EITHER! So I’m happy about that and I know the sweet little girl will be too. She keeps asking her nana “is mommy going to make my birthday.” Ugh! I won’t miss it for anything….

Wish me good luck y’all! I’m trying not to crack. I’m almost there and then I can take a nice long break.

I always wonder how my father did this, 🧐 but, I guess when it’s for your family, there’s bo choice but to go above and beyond.

6 months later… (Post Covid – but not really)

I can’t believe we have gotten to a point, were wearing a mask seems normal.

I never thought I would get used to this, I don’t know if I like it. I don’t know if I have fully adjusted just yet. The thing is, life has to go on and there’s nothing we can do about that… But be extremely cautious and careful.

I have been living my life in Ghana, West Africa for six months. This is the longest I have ever been there. It was a blessing to be in a place like that during a time like this in the world because even though the virus did affect the area, they handled it well. They took care of the people and I never felt I wasn’t safe once.

My children have been happy, I have been happy and I even got the chance to go out a few times!! Can you believe that, in a time like this I was out with people and smiling, dancing and even having a few drinks, I miss doing things like that. It seems like once the fear is gone of something you can’t even see you just learn to adapt in some sort of way.

Now; I am finally back in the United States! The borders in Ghana were closed for such a long time and I lived that life. Suddenly, things were open again. Part of me never wanted to leave and face the reality of what I have to do but just like I said, I MUST.

A lot of people have been unemployed for months and one morning I woke up and I got a message from my recruiter and work was suddenly in my front… What a blessing. I don’t take it for granted but I also thought to myself, wow! Now I have to go back to work and do my contract mommy work stuff as I said in one of my posts before.

It’s a bittersweet feeling because I know I do this work for my beautiful children and for my family and even for myself but the bitter part was I decided to leave my children in Ghana because it was the right thing to do.

Why would I pull them away from that comfort and the sun and picking fruit off their Nana‘s tree, I wasn’t ready to do that to them and I wasn’t even ready for Papa bear to take on all that responsibility so soon even though we both miss them dearly.

The time will pass and all of our hard work is not in vain. This year has gone by so fast I can hardly remember each month but all I know is that soon, I will be back with my beautiful children and eventually we will all come back to the United States as a unit but until then I have to get my hustle on and I have to do things which I know I can do to make them comfortable when they do return.

It’s absolutely crazy that this virus is still living with us !!! where is this vaccine which I don’t even believe in? Will it ever come… Or is it just the media making us afraid for something that is to come more serious? Who knows. All I know is good things come on the other side of fear… So don’t be afraid and still achieve all the goals you need to achieve. We still have a few months left till 2021.

2020 has been very unpredictable and rocky year but don’t let that overcome you because 2020 has not defeated you or me or anyone and we can do this.

The contract mommy

As of last year, I decided to take the jump and go back to work. It’s not your regular 9-5 … it’s quite intensive, the hours are long but the great news is that it’s contracted.

I love contract work because it gives me the ability to be very flexible as a mother. I can have time for my own business, I can have time for my husband, I can have time for my children, and do everything that I want to do if I’m not currently doing that work.

It was a big step for me, but very necessary… Because there’s so many things that go on in the family, and there are so many things to take care of, and so many goals to reach and it’s cool to rely on one income but it’s not too bad to rely on two incomes especially when you’re bringing in some correct money.

Last year when I was away on work, I luckily had my amazing sister to help me with Papa bear watching the children it worked out. We all survived. This time, same situation but the distance is longer… Remember I said in an earlier blog I took my children to west Africa? Well as of right now they are there, and I am in the in the states! Can you imagine 😭 That is a lot of water between us, literally oceans between us. I think I can survive this because I know they are with my mother, they are in great hands & I will see them very soon.

It’s quite a tough thing to leave your children behind but sometimes in this life, you have to make sacrifices. This time I didn’t have my sister around and for Papa bear to watch our children alone although I know he could do it for two weeks nonstop, it would STOP absolutely everything he had to do for himself and our family. Would that be fair of me to ask him to sit still? Hmm 🤔 we have the same goals to reach and parenting is a two work man job but sometimes you really have to make sacrifices to better the whole family. I know the kids will be alright.

I spoke to my son not too long ago today, and yes he did cry “mommy, I miss you. Come back home” it totally broke my heart but I had to put on my big girl pants and realize I’m starting work again tomorrow and I’m going to be busy and focused and I’ll be back in your cute/sweet lovely arms in no time.

Motherhood is such a big deal. As a mom, you have to make all these decisions and all these decisions have consequences. I know there are some women and men that will judge me for going to work with two children, especially small children but then I think to myself “you’re not paying any of my bills” and all of those opinions are irrelevant. I know the lifestyle I’m trying to live, I know exactly what I want to give my children. You can’t always just expect everything to be handed to you especially from Papa bear. As a woman there’s nothing wrong with getting your hands a little dirty and the benefits will be glorious in the long run. I know exactly why I’m doing this and I know the rewards that can come from this and I know I’ll see my children very soon.

The house is so quiet right now though. I told papa bear “Is this what it’s like when your kids go to college?.” Just the two of us. Quiet. No mess anywhere. No noise. Just us. This is happening right now, so imagine when I children are really young adults of their own and everything we ever wanted is set and our goals are met. Pretty amazing.

I know there will be some days at work when I get to the hotel,  I’ll feel sad and I might cry because I do miss my children but every day that I wake up, it’s just another day that the contract is further down the line and another day that I’ve gotten paid.

I’m very grateful that I had the opportunity to do this contract work & because of that opportunity I don’t take it lightly and I stay completely focused.

Being a working mom is very tough but somehow, there’s always a way to make it  work. I want to make sure I don’t get sidetracked because at the end of the day my children are my priority, and I definitely don’t want to miss moments of them growing up in anyway but that’s where balance come in. It’s not every contract that I will take but it’s not every contract I will miss either. God will see my family through.

Take back yourself Mama ❤️

This will be my last post having anything to do with our Bali trip and this is a post about me.

While in paradise for a short two weeks, I’ve never felt so good as a mommy. I really felt free and I was loving every bit of my curves and stomach and stretch marks like never before for myself! There’s something about vacations that make you feel more free than ever. Have you noticed that? Have you ever looked at anyone’s vacation pictures and see more of them than usual? It’s because of the freedom and relief to just be away. I love it!!

Remember in my previous blog I said I had a nanny and because of that it helped me “live my best mama life” I mean it. Going on vacation with kids is hardly a break because they will always be just as needy there just as home but I was enjoying myself.

Having two kids. I’m Twenty-nine, my body isn’t like it used to be when I was 18 (flat stomach, no ass, no breast, just lanky and tall) but NOW I have a full woman body. Hips and thighs, stretch marks and a tummy pouch which some days is bigger than others, I still have small breasts (I’ve accepted this fate lol) but yes my body is totally different. When you have children you need to find the balance to take care of them and take care of yourself. It’s not always easy especially when they are newborn but I’m dealing with a 1 1/2 year old and three year old. It’s amazing how much you can do & feel great about it. I feel like I can be super mom and still “slay” on! To feel like this as a mom takes time but I’ve reached that point where I know it’s just going to get better.

You keep yourself sexy and confident for yourself first & then for your husband! When you’re confident in your body, you’re even more attractive because they also see the glow shining within from the outside. I’m so lucky papa bear appreciates my body exactly how it is because I don’t have to hide behind something I am not. I just get to show my sexy on my terms and he enjoys and appreciates that. I pray none of you have to deal with an asshole, who shams you in any type of way as a mother, if they do F THEM 🖕🏼 You are beautiful! You gave life and you are EVERYTHING you are supposed to be.

When you get to the point where you’re ready to take back yourself! Do so without hesitation. We are all adults now. Who the heck is going to tell you anything?! Honestly. Don’t let these kids take over your life to the point where you can’t even feel good about yourself and don’t let them steal your mama shine! You are the maker and creator of them. “Give dem” (as we say in broken English) I know it takes a while to get to this place but YOU WILL AND CAN GET THERE and you’ll love it. Yes, some days or a lot of days you may just want to chill and that’s okay too because that’s life but anytime you want to show out… SHOW ALL THE WAY OUT HONEY 🍯

A never ending journey to a magical place. Bali, Indonesia.

For the first time, the children and I spent the Christmas/New Year season in a brand new place, Bali! Such an amazing place. The culture, the people, the enjoyment and food and touristy things… it was just one trip for the books that I will never forget. We did so much; monkey sanctuaries and snorkeling and temples & beaching… the list could go on.

Despite having a blast and literally living my best mommy life (how right?! With two toddlers there) One word NANNY! They practically cost nothing per hour I mean I was shocked at how little I had to pay for so many hours of childcare. I definitely got my money’s worth but before I get side tracked AGAIN despite having a blast, THE JOURNEY there and back was a nightmare.

First off and so sad, papa bear couldn’t make it because of passports issues! I was already two arms and two legs short of what I needed but I’m super mom and I always make it work which I did. Was it easy? Absolutely not! We were on three airplanes both coming and going and the trip took a total of 23 hours! Can you believe that! I mean who doesn’t want to enjoy paradise but 23 hours with toddlers… I realized I really must have needed that break.

Jaden and Jada did amazingly well with all that up and down flying but when that restlessness set in, let’s say I was looking for the extra help I needed from papa bear. I had to keep them busy and feed them and change them and make sure I ate and didn’t spill my wine which I did multiple times because how much space can I have with a toddler on my lap (she is about to turn two and those days are soon sadly over $$$$$) but yes, it was a lot ! From Atlanta to Canada to Hong Kong to Bali I mean can someone give me my damn motherhood of the year award already…. that’s motherhood though isn’t it! So much doing and little getting. I accept it because I do it all out of love.

Going on such a crazy long journey with the kids really made me evaluate how I do things for myself… Just as little as getting the stroller together, and making sure this bag is here and these toys are there and the drinks are here. It’s so exhausting!… But again I did it. Every single detail counts when it comes to traveling with children and sometimes you get annoyed with yourself, because you do end up taking stuff you didn’t even need anything to yourself why the heck didn’t I check that in!!! I’m just so happy that it worked out and I didn’t have a breakdown now this is just us getting to Paradise not to mention us leaving Paradise… I change the whole flight plan because I had to get my kids to west Africa and from Bali to buy his clothes and from Dubai west Africa is close so why would I take myself all the way back to the United States when I’m closer than ever. I’m  just so happy that it worked out and I didn’t have a mommy breakdown but then I did. That was just us getting to paradise not to mention us leaving paradise.

I change the whole flight plan because I had to get my kids to West Africa and from Bali to Dubai is relatively close  and from Dubai to West Africa is close so why would I take myself all the way back to the United States when I’m closer than ever right?! I got myself in so much shit lol 😆 I happen to find an amazingly cheap ticket to get us where we needed to go but the flight plan was horrific… Bali to China, to Hong Kong to Dubai. I literally flew up and down I mean what was I thinking, those were one of those I feel terrible moments because I should’ve put my kids through that even though we all survived it. Let’s just say next time no cutting corners!! I’m  paying the full price and taking the fastest route. Even though I was in China for such a short time they were giving me so many problems just to do a transit and that’s when I had my mommy break down. Immigration there was asking me for all sorts of things for no reason why does this passport have this name, why does this passport have this name, obviously I’n married mr. Immigration… Maiden name, married name! I was just so happy that they gave us our quick 24 hour transit and I could get out of there. It’s already hard enough that I was doing an Israelite journey &  I didn’t need any crap from any immigration officer’s.

When I think of everything as a whole I just think wow 😳  there can be a price to pay to make it to Paradise… But, I guess it’s all part of the journey but let me tell you something if I ever do any type of trip like that again there’s absolutely NO WAY I’m doing it alone without papa bear point blank period!!

 

Motherhood. The new decade. (Happy New Year)

Happy New Year! A new decade is amongst us and I have so much to share again. I took a break because well state the obvious I was mommy-ing, but I was also wife-ing and working! Yup that’s right WORKING (not your regular 9-5 either) but we’ll save that blog for another day.

Jaden and Jada have grown up so much, there characters are something to share. What they say and what they do and how they bond is something special and I look forward to sharing this all from my eyes in words.

Stay tuned and again,
happy new year. May we all have a great start to the new year 🥂

A nostalgic experience at Disney World.

I can’t believe this day had finally come around. Taking my son to Disney World! Words are hard to express it but I’ll try my best.

Years ago my parents had taken my sisters & myself on this endless adventure & I remember it by these classic video tapes I never stopped watching. I was so small, and my mom would stroll me around with my two sisters walking side by side and the cam corder in my fathers hands. I remember it, the laughs and sisters mocks and “it’s a small world” and so much more…. & now it’s my turn as an adult, a mother & a wife. Wow!!!

I was so excited, probably more than my son who is two in just a few days (we thank God) My husband who has never experienced this Disney Magic was also in Awe almost in disbelief that a place could really take you out of the “real world” for a whole day. I told him before “This is a dream world” & funny that the Disney saying is “Where Dreams Come True”

We did it all, walked for hours, ate turkey legs, popcorn, went on the any age rides (surprisingly the lines were all amazing and fast) & shout out to Disney free Fast pass which helped also. We saw the parade, Our son met his two favorite characters the gorgeous Mrs Minnie Mouse and Daisy, saw the amazing castle & other beautiful backdrops…

What a day it was. We ended this amazing day with the finale firework show assisted by graphics and Disney music and I never felt so emotional in my whole life! I almost cried because it was surreal and nostalgic. The memories of my own childhood flushed over me and to be in this magical kingdom with my own family – really was dream come true.

My son, husband and I had the time of our lives and my son might not remember it fully in a few years but thankfully I captured some amazing moments on my camera just as my father did years ago. Technology definitely has its advantages 🙂

Our son took to the place very well & although Disney World does cost a lot of money (being frankly honest) to see the look on your child’s  face is worth every last penny!

I encourage all parents to take this trip at least once & more than if you can. The place is huge. We were only one amusement and water park in and there are still three more to explore & in a few years I hope to do them all again.

Thank you Walt Disney ❤️

“I need a break. We need to put him in school!”

That time has come. Faster than I ever thought it would. Day care. It needed to happen, as I mentioned last week Papa bear and I are dealing with the  troublesome two stage, I needed the break. It took some time because I wanted our son to start before two and he said “NO, let’s wait till after two” but I just couldn’t wait any longer! Of course I love my little man around me but sometimes space is necessary. I needed time to rest (for good reasons) time to catch up on house chores and even clean his toy area properly. Different things. You’ll be surprised how much you can get down with your little one away. Even if I wasn’t resting, I could just enjoy some Mommy time and I have no regrets 🙂

I think as a first time Mom, I did well putting my son in school – it was sad hearing him cry every time I’d leave but it’s temporary time and temporary tears. I like the teachers in the school and I’d observed them when I visit and get to know them so I’m fully aware who is teaching him. The only concern I have is feeding times. I know my son is a picky eater and even though the amount is written down of what and how much he ate, as a parent you really never know that’s why I pack him a  few of his favorite things on the side just incase. It makes me feel at ease.

I enjoy the fact that he’s made new friends and can learn how to interact with others even more than before & learn at a different pace. I’ve done well teaching him in the meantime and learning never stops in our household but it’s great to know he’s learning in two places and from others as well.

The downside of day care is IT’S so expensive oh my gosh! I never knew. Parents don’t talk about this. You have to do your research and find out which school will fit you best and when you do, be prepared for some crazy fees – it’s quite annoying seeing as some of the kids are so small and it takes such a huge chunk out of your finances week after week or bi-weekly or monthly if you choose. In this situation you really can’t have your cake and eat it too because if you don’t  want to pay well – your kiddie stays at home 😩  sorry !!

All in all – Day care for me is win and let me tell you parents, THERE’S NOTHING LIKE SEEING THAT PRICELESS SMILE AND GETTING A LOVED FILLED HUG WHEN YOU PICK THEM UP AFTER SCHOOL ❤️

 

 

My childhood to yours

I remember having a great childhood. I did so many fun things. I used to play outside and ride my bike and climb trees and just found adventure in everything I did whether dirt or water. I was lucky enough to travel to different amazing places with my family and friends from cold to hot and just remembering everything makes me feel happy and blessed at the same time.

Now that I’m a mother, there’s nothing better than sharing as many of my own childhood memories with my son the best way I can. It’s so surreal. I take pleasure in seeing him enjoy his new surroundings and taking great pictures to show him as he gets older. I definitely have a world traveler baby… but why not?! I’m taking full advantage of him sitting on my lap and paying hardly anything for a ticket… soon those days are over and it’ll be full price from there lol

I believe it’s very important to leave our children with a happy lomg-lasting memories. We live in a world now that is so technology based, I feel that many children don’t to take enough advantage of their surroundings.

There are so many things they can do but get locked up with “Disney channel” I had an article about how my son does watch “word party” but it’s educational and I make sure he also has as much play time as possible. I recently found an indoor playground called “Hippohop Atlanta” it’s amazing, fun, environmental friendly and the minute I took my son there he felt so free and happy and he could interact with other children which is great to see. All of these moments counts.

As the babies grow to toddlers and toddlers to young children to teenagers, finding ways to entertain them OUTSIDE OR CREATIVELY is a must. It Doesn’t matter how simple it is as long as it gets their minds and memories going that’s the key.

 
– Face painting
– Water and hose
– Racing
– Building
– Swimming
– Hiking
– Visiting museums
– Botanical gardens
– Traveling
Etc….

The list could go on Forever.

My elder sisters and I along with my cousins and close friends used  to have a blast doing all sorts of things together. I especially remember us riding our bikes and scooters and getting in to “kid trouble” lol whatever we did…  it shaped us in someways later in life because we all are good with people and we all have great friends and I believe can make friends fairly easy.

All of this wouldn’t be if we were children stuck inside playing on our game boys all day long and watching Tv. We definitely had our Tv time watching Cartoon Network and other great shows back then but it wasn’t a constant thing. We all loved going outside.

I’ll make it my mission that my son enjoys his very own childhood the best way I can.

Airplane tears. (Another real story)

Recently I had made the transition from West Africa to Atlanta via London. It was one of my worst flights to date I have ever been on, why? Because for the first time, I got food poisoning. Such an awful thing.

Half way through the first flight which happened to be an evening flight , Jaden was sleeping, I woke up from my own sleep feeling terrible. I felt so weak and all I could do was reach for the paper bag in front of our seat pockets and throw up inside…. not once, not twice but at least 7 times. The flight couldn’t end fast enough.

As we finally reached London, I was hit with the coldest weather I had felt since the beginning of the year. It was freezing. I felt so bad for my baby but luckily I came fully prepared for him as I should have but for myself not so lucky lol not only was I sick, I could hardly walk and I definitely wasn’t dressed warmed enough. We had the longest lay over about 7 hours and I didn’t have strength to be sick in a busy airport not know which minute I had to throw or something else so I filled out the landing card got out of the airport and luckily found a hotel in the airport that I checked myself into. . . It was the right decision.

Once we got in all I wanted to do was sleep but of course my little guy had other plans. He wanted to play and crawl all over the place, I didn’t blame him though he got enough rest as it is. I managed to get word party going but he wasn’t very interested so I just grabbed him in the bed with me and switched off all the lights hoping he’ll knock out again … NOPE. He was making all these noises knew I wasn’t getting anywhere so I decided to give him a long bubble bath which finally worked and I could finally get the much needed sleep and recovery I needed.

Fast forward to the next flight, I thought I was feeling better unfortunately I wasn’t. The captain asked me so many question if I was fit to fly but I played it off well because I just wanted to get to Atlanta. As we took off, Jaden had all the energy in the world because this unlike the last flight was an afternoon flight. I was feeling so weak I couldn’t really hold him and play with him like I do and like he loves and I think he noticed because he became so fussy. As the hours kept going by all I wanted to do was sleep and rest. No food, no drink, no walking around just sleep but my little man just didn’t want to.

About 5th-6th hour in Jaden decided to be THAT child that everyone is praying is not on the flight, THE CRY BABY! This was a first for me. He’s usually well-behaved and hardly makes a sound & he’s flown long haul flights before but this one was a different story. For two hours straight he cried & cried! Nothing I was doing was helping. His lungs kept going, his pitch kept getting higher & I felt like I was in a nightmare dream. “Please stop crying” “what do you want & need” but his little face kept going and going. Even with the fraction of energy I had I stood up briefly and he would stop but the minute I sat down he started again but I just couldn’t hold him up long.

It got to the point where I called the flight attendants and asked them to “please take my son, take him so I can sleep, 30 min” I couldn’t do it. I was about to lose my head. THANKFULLY they had spare time to help me out not just once but twice. I now know where that expression heaven-sent comes from. I just needed him off my hands and on that desperate time they came. I was so overwhelmed I believe I even cried for a moment because I was so relieved.

I remember while sleeping they tapped on my feet and I saw Jaden smiling. When they gave him back he wasn’t as fussy and would also close his own eyes briefly. There was a point where he did start-up again & two passengers helped me out. One took Jaden for an isle stroll for about 10 minutes up and down and another from his seat was silently waving to him and because of the interaction, Jaden couldn’t help but wave back over and over very soft and calmly and next thing you know he fell into a deep sleep and I followed. When I woke up at last my little guy was fully knocked out bout 1hr30 left till landing. I glanced to the passenger on the other side and said “Thank you” he smiled back.

Once we landed, I was so happy. It was the longest flight I ever took but only because I wasn’t feeling too great. Jaden was back to his normal self and it’s another first time experience that is one for the books.

The end.
On a side note:

Being a helpful stranger to a mother or any parent can be the most simple reward you can give a parent. If you ever see someone struggling even if it’s just a short while, give them a helping hand like those who helped me out. You’re doing us a kind favor and we are so grateful for it.