6 months later… (Post Covid – but not really)

I can’t believe we have gotten to a point, were wearing a mask seems normal.

I never thought I would get used to this, I don’t know if I like it. I don’t know if I have fully adjusted just yet. The thing is, life has to go on and there’s nothing we can do about that… But be extremely cautious and careful.

I have been living my life in Ghana, West Africa for six months. This is the longest I have ever been there. It was a blessing to be in a place like that during a time like this in the world because even though the virus did affect the area, they handled it well. They took care of the people and I never felt I wasn’t safe once.

My children have been happy, I have been happy and I even got the chance to go out a few times!! Can you believe that, in a time like this I was out with people and smiling, dancing and even having a few drinks, I miss doing things like that. It seems like once the fear is gone of something you can’t even see you just learn to adapt in some sort of way.

Now; I am finally back in the United States! The borders in Ghana were closed for such a long time and I lived that life. Suddenly, things were open again. Part of me never wanted to leave and face the reality of what I have to do but just like I said, I MUST.

A lot of people have been unemployed for months and one morning I woke up and I got a message from my recruiter and work was suddenly in my front… What a blessing. I don’t take it for granted but I also thought to myself, wow! Now I have to go back to work and do my contract mommy work stuff as I said in one of my posts before.

It’s a bittersweet feeling because I know I do this work for my beautiful children and for my family and even for myself but the bitter part was I decided to leave my children in Ghana because it was the right thing to do.

Why would I pull them away from that comfort and the sun and picking fruit off their Nana‘s tree, I wasn’t ready to do that to them and I wasn’t even ready for Papa bear to take on all that responsibility so soon even though we both miss them dearly.

The time will pass and all of our hard work is not in vain. This year has gone by so fast I can hardly remember each month but all I know is that soon, I will be back with my beautiful children and eventually we will all come back to the United States as a unit but until then I have to get my hustle on and I have to do things which I know I can do to make them comfortable when they do return.

It’s absolutely crazy that this virus is still living with us !!! where is this vaccine which I don’t even believe in? Will it ever come… Or is it just the media making us afraid for something that is to come more serious? Who knows. All I know is good things come on the other side of fear… So don’t be afraid and still achieve all the goals you need to achieve. We still have a few months left till 2021.

2020 has been very unpredictable and rocky year but don’t let that overcome you because 2020 has not defeated you or me or anyone and we can do this.

Covid-19 (Who the heck do you think you are!!!)

“The next ten is about to be the best ten.”

I would be interested to know how many of you said this. I know I did. I was so excited for the new decade. 2020! It was going to be a year extraordinary blessings for everyone on planet. I knew it was going to be the year where everyone reaches their personal goals and achievements, I just felt that kind of energy…

ha! I was wrong. A virus struck. Covid-19 (Corona virus) 😠 confusing everyone… it’s contagious, we’re scared, we’re learning about it through the television (which a is a terrible source in my opinion) it’s just a lot going on. “Schools will be closed.” Every parent in the world “HUH!?” “The borders will be closed.” Every single person in the world “HUH!?” What the heck is going on. More confusion, first we laugh, then we cry and then then they start tracing the #’s of this invisible virus and it’s increasing massively and people are now DYING!!!!!
Help, Help! “How can we help, when we’re just figuring it out too.” The whole word is a damn mess.

(FAST FORWARD)

Our children are at home with us every single day. What can I do as a mother to keep them entertained (my son hasn’t reached kindergarten just yet so there is no Zoom classes online like most the older students have in this pandemic. Do we read books? (yes) Do we practice writing? (yes) to we learn words? (yes) do we play games? (more than enough) But this system is on and on and on and on and day after day after day at one point things are just how they are… you’re living and surviving and just thanking God after all this time no one I care about has caught this thing!! So we stay grateful… but all in all this is crazy.

Children are so full of life, they love to do things and explore so it’s best to make the most out everything you have. Just because they are at home doesn’t mean they don’t have fun, and as time has passed and rules have relax there’s more flexibility.

I want to give shout out to all the teachers around the world! I’m sorry you don’t get paid more, you’re amazing.

(Fast forward)

As time has passed by, less confusion and more okay where is the cure… (Scientists scrambling for answers)

We understand the virus protocol. Hand sanitizers, wash your hands, WHERE YOUR MASK when you’re out. We are adjusting to this new life.

I honestly can’t believe this is the 2020 I an living in. I’m making it work and mind you, I am one of the citizen of America that is overseas, trapped. It’s been about 5 months. I’m not complaining though, I’m in Ghana. Yes the virus is here most definitely but I am safe in the home I’m in. I have help with my children and I don’t go out often unless It’s  for essentials or to see people which is just house hopping and it’s a tiny list. My business hasn’t done the best this year, but I know a lot of businesses have suffered too.

Everything is so uncertain. How can I spend money on products, when I don’t know when I’ll make money again… The bills haven’t stopped overseas but luckily, everyone understands what’s going on & work is just slow. Unemployment is by force & even my other job has been put on hold and the work that has come up is too risky!

I pray there is a big shift with Covid-19 eventually soon but in the meantime, we wait.

Everyone that has made it to this point individually or with their family. Clap for yourself because it CAN get exhausting.

I’m so thankful I’ve had my whole family together for the most part, and most importantly again – we are safe! So yes, Covid-19 has taken over but we stand! we will make it and overcome this.

A big shout out to all the doctors and nurses who work day and night to help fight this thing and a special shout out to all the parents who have been watching their kids day in an out. It’s such a hard job.

There’s been no “Me-time.” But it will get better. We’ve celebrated birthday’s during this time. We may get mad at times but we still laugh and smile.

No matter the situation always try and look at the glass half full and stay optimistic as much as you can. Everyone is facing their own problems but some are also facing it head on and making the most out of it. It doesn’t have to be a bad time, just be cautious, follow the rules and stay safe.

A Studio Dream 🎶

A lot of you may not know this but when I’m not mommy-ing and wife-ing and doing my entrepreneur work! I am an artist (singer) named Coco Benson. Music has been in my family before I was born and it definitely trickled down to me. To make a long story short, I most definitely was on a journey of a music career but it came to a stop! & then I stopped! Fast forward 4 years till now! I decided to start doing music again which I am so happy about and the new journey of it will be bigger and better than ever so stay tuned for that!

Here is where my blog title starts. The other day, I had a studio session and it was the most amazing session because my son Jaden was involved! I’ve always dreamed of taking him to the studio! I’ve always dreamed of us being on some track together one day and it finally happened!

Such a beautiful moment it literally brought tears to my eyes and continues to do so every time I listen to it! First of all it’s emotional because it’s actually a praise song to God! I did it my way, exactly how I pictured it. Authentic and loving. Then my son is on it, which sounds adorable and I even tried something new on it which is rap! (I do not rap, unless I’m rapping with Nicki Minaj or Snoop Dogg) but I gave it a go and it worked out great!

Everything about this session was just amazing… I had about a week to perfect how I wanted to sing everything, I had a week to tell my son and prepare how I wanted him to do it and he did it! Seeing his little mouth by the mic 🎤  was so moving, and he did great because he’s  only four so his attention span was eventually disappearing after telling him to do different takes but he pulled it off and I thank  the producer so much for his patients and how he arranged everything.

I’m still waiting for the final product but I know it will sound great. The way this song is set up, it will definitely be an introductory song to all the other music I do… In the music world we call it an intro.

I think the whole experience is overwhelmingly beautiful because again not only did I get to record with my son, but I would never think after so many years I would get back in a studio room and just feel more free than ever… Music is always been a passion of mine, and I’m so happy that It came back into my life.

I look forward to sharing my music with the world again because I’ve been saying “I’m breaking necks this year” LOL

PS.if you are interested in following my journey you can follow me on

Instagram: @cocobenson_

Facebook : TheCocoBenson

YouTube or Apple Music, Spotify : Coco Benson

Four Years Of Motherhood 🎈

My big boy Jaden is about to be FOUR years old this Saturday!!! I’m literally going to be raising a four year old boy! Wow. Four years of motherhood! Four years of amazing memories. Four years of amazing growth, such a beautiful experience. Being a mommy to Jaden is the best thing on this earth! I wouldn’t change it for anything.

As I get older I realize this was always my path because I love being a mommy but as time goes by, I’ve found balance and I can accomplish everything I want to while still being a mommy. Of course there are sacrifices at times but it’s short lived! What’s important is that my kids know I love them unconditionally and that I’ll go above and beyond for them. Everything that I thought I couldn’t accomplish before or fell a part, are now coming together and it’s all God’s timing because maybe before I wasn’t ready or maybe I needed a different kind of motivation which I get from my children.

Life is what you make it and you have to enjoy the moments you can, create new memories daily and learn to be better each day.

I am so proud of my boy! Four years old! Smart, talkative, learning how to read (I just found out yesterday while we are doing night time stories) He’s asking questions, he tells me stories and sings songs and his brain is so creative! The list goes on and on. I am so blessed to be his mother! He’s a great big brother, who takes care of his sister and teaches her (good and sometimes naughty things lol) but their bond is unbreakable. I’m loving the little big boy he’s becoming and I know he’ll continue to do amazing things with God on his side and US.

Cheers to Papa bear and myself!

Sad Mommy :(

My last blog was about being a working contract mommy and this blog is about being a sad mommy 😦

I haven’t seen my kids for about two and half maybe three weeks soon and it’s really taking a toll on me. I miss them so much. I miss their presence and kisses and hugs and my son and daughter just following me around everywhere just because…. this is the sad part about the hustle and sacrifice. You do these things for the better but then you don’t want to do these things because of what you’re essentially leaving behind. It’s such a catch 22!

I believe all sacrifice is never in vain and there are definitely rewards for it but it’s so damn hard! In my perfect world, I’m doing nothing but taking care of my babies but I have a lot of other stuff going on so I have to keep pushing.

😦 don’t really feel like writing anymore….

The contract mommy

As of last year, I decided to take the jump and go back to work. It’s not your regular 9-5 … it’s quite intensive, the hours are long but the great news is that it’s contracted.

I love contract work because it gives me the ability to be very flexible as a mother. I can have time for my own business, I can have time for my husband, I can have time for my children, and do everything that I want to do if I’m not currently doing that work.

It was a big step for me, but very necessary… Because there’s so many things that go on in the family, and there are so many things to take care of, and so many goals to reach and it’s cool to rely on one income but it’s not too bad to rely on two incomes especially when you’re bringing in some correct money.

Last year when I was away on work, I luckily had my amazing sister to help me with Papa bear watching the children it worked out. We all survived. This time, same situation but the distance is longer… Remember I said in an earlier blog I took my children to west Africa? Well as of right now they are there, and I am in the in the states! Can you imagine 😭 That is a lot of water between us, literally oceans between us. I think I can survive this because I know they are with my mother, they are in great hands & I will see them very soon.

It’s quite a tough thing to leave your children behind but sometimes in this life, you have to make sacrifices. This time I didn’t have my sister around and for Papa bear to watch our children alone although I know he could do it for two weeks nonstop, it would STOP absolutely everything he had to do for himself and our family. Would that be fair of me to ask him to sit still? Hmm 🤔 we have the same goals to reach and parenting is a two work man job but sometimes you really have to make sacrifices to better the whole family. I know the kids will be alright.

I spoke to my son not too long ago today, and yes he did cry “mommy, I miss you. Come back home” it totally broke my heart but I had to put on my big girl pants and realize I’m starting work again tomorrow and I’m going to be busy and focused and I’ll be back in your cute/sweet lovely arms in no time.

Motherhood is such a big deal. As a mom, you have to make all these decisions and all these decisions have consequences. I know there are some women and men that will judge me for going to work with two children, especially small children but then I think to myself “you’re not paying any of my bills” and all of those opinions are irrelevant. I know the lifestyle I’m trying to live, I know exactly what I want to give my children. You can’t always just expect everything to be handed to you especially from Papa bear. As a woman there’s nothing wrong with getting your hands a little dirty and the benefits will be glorious in the long run. I know exactly why I’m doing this and I know the rewards that can come from this and I know I’ll see my children very soon.

The house is so quiet right now though. I told papa bear “Is this what it’s like when your kids go to college?.” Just the two of us. Quiet. No mess anywhere. No noise. Just us. This is happening right now, so imagine when I children are really young adults of their own and everything we ever wanted is set and our goals are met. Pretty amazing.

I know there will be some days at work when I get to the hotel,  I’ll feel sad and I might cry because I do miss my children but every day that I wake up, it’s just another day that the contract is further down the line and another day that I’ve gotten paid.

I’m very grateful that I had the opportunity to do this contract work & because of that opportunity I don’t take it lightly and I stay completely focused.

Being a working mom is very tough but somehow, there’s always a way to make it  work. I want to make sure I don’t get sidetracked because at the end of the day my children are my priority, and I definitely don’t want to miss moments of them growing up in anyway but that’s where balance come in. It’s not every contract that I will take but it’s not every contract I will miss either. God will see my family through.

Take back yourself Mama ❤️

This will be my last post having anything to do with our Bali trip and this is a post about me.

While in paradise for a short two weeks, I’ve never felt so good as a mommy. I really felt free and I was loving every bit of my curves and stomach and stretch marks like never before for myself! There’s something about vacations that make you feel more free than ever. Have you noticed that? Have you ever looked at anyone’s vacation pictures and see more of them than usual? It’s because of the freedom and relief to just be away. I love it!!

Remember in my previous blog I said I had a nanny and because of that it helped me “live my best mama life” I mean it. Going on vacation with kids is hardly a break because they will always be just as needy there just as home but I was enjoying myself.

Having two kids. I’m Twenty-nine, my body isn’t like it used to be when I was 18 (flat stomach, no ass, no breast, just lanky and tall) but NOW I have a full woman body. Hips and thighs, stretch marks and a tummy pouch which some days is bigger than others, I still have small breasts (I’ve accepted this fate lol) but yes my body is totally different. When you have children you need to find the balance to take care of them and take care of yourself. It’s not always easy especially when they are newborn but I’m dealing with a 1 1/2 year old and three year old. It’s amazing how much you can do & feel great about it. I feel like I can be super mom and still “slay” on! To feel like this as a mom takes time but I’ve reached that point where I know it’s just going to get better.

You keep yourself sexy and confident for yourself first & then for your husband! When you’re confident in your body, you’re even more attractive because they also see the glow shining within from the outside. I’m so lucky papa bear appreciates my body exactly how it is because I don’t have to hide behind something I am not. I just get to show my sexy on my terms and he enjoys and appreciates that. I pray none of you have to deal with an asshole, who shams you in any type of way as a mother, if they do F THEM 🖕🏼 You are beautiful! You gave life and you are EVERYTHING you are supposed to be.

When you get to the point where you’re ready to take back yourself! Do so without hesitation. We are all adults now. Who the heck is going to tell you anything?! Honestly. Don’t let these kids take over your life to the point where you can’t even feel good about yourself and don’t let them steal your mama shine! You are the maker and creator of them. “Give dem” (as we say in broken English) I know it takes a while to get to this place but YOU WILL AND CAN GET THERE and you’ll love it. Yes, some days or a lot of days you may just want to chill and that’s okay too because that’s life but anytime you want to show out… SHOW ALL THE WAY OUT HONEY 🍯

Is there a groom yourself age limit?

Is there a grooming age limit for children?

randomly came across this question while looking at the picture above.

My son Jaden loves to be pampered. Is it wrong that I let him at age three? I’m literally grooming him to enjoy good things. He loves to get pedicures on his tiny little toes and as you can see he knows what a good back massage and foot massage is. He says  “mommy, can you massage my feet or scratch my back.” Like!!! what do you know about that you little three old!

Honestly, I don’t mind treating him to mommies sweet foot massage or little back scratch. When I was younger, I remember my mom scratching my back when I asked it was the sweetest thing ever so maybe I’m just following a trait.

Am I training him up to be spoiled in this kind of way… Is it going to drive his lovely girlfriend or wife up the wall one day because he’s going to be asking for these things on demand… They do say we set up our children and then they are who they are, but I also believe that you’re never too young to enjoy something good as long as you know the value of it. I make sure I tell my son every day to be thankful, say his prayers and make sure he knows that some people don’t have things that he has and I use food as a good example. When he wants something and doesn’t feel like  eating it after he asked for it, I let him know that not everyone is fortunate enough to have a meal on their table on demand like you do so please finish up your food and it usually works. 

Everything is about moderation. Grooming is a part of life. I believe that kids should know how to put their shoes in order, know how to dress, brush their hair and teeth and know a routine and sometimes that routine consist of enjoying good things like pedicures and back massages.

At the end of the day, I know what I’m doing… I hope lol in the  meantime I will let his little three-old self, soon to be four enjoy those little things, but if I noticed him asking for something way more than often then it all comes to a stop and I’ll definitely have to deal with that consequence :/ “C’est la vie” sometimes.

 

 

Motherhood. The new decade. (Happy New Year)

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Happy New Year! A new decade is amongst us and I have so much to share again. I took a break because well state the obvious I was mommy-ing, but I was also wife-ing and working! Yup that’s right WORKING (not your regular 9-5 either) but we’ll save that blog for another day.

Jaden and Jada have grown up so much, there characters are something to share. What they say and what they do and how they bond is something special and I look forward to sharing this all from my eyes in words.

Stay tuned and again,
happy new year. May we all have a great start to the new year 🥂

Another ONE 💗

Papa Bear & myself did it again. We made the accomplishment of another child surviving to ONE. Jada our little princess.

We had a fun little party at an indoor play place just like we did for Jaden at the time. Games, food & good conversation. Nothing over the top. She had a blast, her brother had a blast & so did their cousins. We both Thank God she is growing beautifully , healthy  and is already learning things at an amazingly fast pace. She knows how to say her name to her best ability and she knows how to play peek-a-boo & run if you tell her to run, she recognizes most faces she’s seen like her Nana & Grandpa and aunties, she even knows how to sing “Johnny Johnny” which by the  way is the cutest thing ever. I am happy, I don’t know anything about raising a little girl but I’m learning Day by day and if I’ve done it with my son, and continue to do so, I know I can do it….

& NOW. Down to the NITTY GRITTY.

Jada is so different than her brother, at times I thought she would be more calm… she actually more wild. She really doesn’t take  nonsense at her age. She is VERY demanding whether it be with me or her brother/father. She knows how to get what she wants just by her non speaking voice so I can only imagine when the words start coming up. Jada is adorable but she’s a handful & half. I’m catching on to her ways and I’m trying to keep up.

I don’t know if I believe in horoscopes anymore but my daughter is a Gemini & sometimes I can see both sides of her in a span of ten minutes but I’m the QUEEN of the castle & whether she likes it or not I have to firmly put my foot down lol

The relationship between Jaden & her brother  is still amazing & I think they have their communication lingo locked it. They definitely balance each other out even though Jaden will pull the big brother card at times, he has the right to though. They are both independent but also love each other’s company and it’s everything I could ever image it to be.

Jada’s development is daily and I’m just happy I can to experience it all again for the second time around… I do miss some moments, I was very on point with my son, caught everyone moment. With her, it’s just like a smooth ride of “oh you have teeth now” but for her brother it was “grab the camera, teeth, teeth, teeth.” Nevertheless I’m enjoying it all, because they are only so small for such a short time.

Banana Split 🍌

It’s 5:37am May 14th 2019. I got woken up by a crying son who thought I wasn’t around. “I want my mommy, where’s my mommy” I instantly cuddled him and said “I’m here Jaden I’m right here.” His sleepy  crying eyes started to realize that he was dreaming and he’s calmed down.

Suddenly my daughter who is still breastfeeding starts to cry because I’ve pulled her off her milk supply. She’s making all types of noises and I can tell she’s upset she’s not drinking her milk… I put her back on.

Jaden now says he wants to cuddle with me again and he wants to sleep on my chest. “I’m feeding your sister” I said and again he just got upset!

It’s times like this, I wish I was two of me. It’s so hard to give the exact attention to both of them at the same time when they both need it. They both want to be close to me, they both want to lay their head on my chest but my chest is only so big 😦 dilemmas and quick thinking. I shifted my girl to the left, I moved him to the right and I’m laying down straight so I can give them half a side each. It temporarily worked but they were both still complaining small, lucky for me the “sand man” came and put them back to sleep.

My son has now scooted over to right and my daughter is about to be scooted to the left so I can catch a few more zzz’s

Oh the joys of motherhood.

A girl named Jada.

The last time I properly spoke about my daughter I mentioned how she was barely opening her eyes. Eleven months later, her eyes are big, beautiful and brown.

My sweet girl. Full name Jada Folasade. I never thought I’d find love quite like this. She’s just like my Jaden but a girl version. She’s coming into her own little sassy self! She’s addicted to me, even more than her big brother was at this age. She practically screams at the top of her lungs when I turn my back or walk away… it’s something to see but do I mind?! Not really, I’m flattered that a little human being can love someone so much. It makes me happy. Yes, there are times when it can drive others to confusion and when I need a moment to focus on her brother or another things it can be quite bothersome but it’s all out of Love.

My daughter is a real little girl. She’s so cute and cuddly, smart and her smiles just light up the room. She herself is an amazing younger sister. She loves to play with Jaden, she loves to share & when she hears his voice, her whole face lights up. It’s match made.

In one month, she’s already about to be one years old and I can’t believe it. Time just simply goes by too fast. She was just a baby that we took on a family trip to New Orleans and now she’s a little madam who takes command and ALWAYS wants to eat my food, and eat on her own and stand and talk her baby talk and test her brother… (what do I mean test? Stay tuned for the next blog or two away )  😉

I am a very proud mother, I really am raising two amazing kids, it’s never easy but it’s constant learning and growing for myself and them and between us I remember when my doctor said my son Jaden would be a girl I felt some way… but a life without my sweet princess in it doesn’t make sense now. She’s another part of my puzzle, another part of her brother and another part of our family which we are in love with.

I’m curious about the woman she’s going to become. The different stages of growth. Her style and attitude and how she’ll carry herself.  I think about this with both my children.  It’s an amazing thought that time will eventually reveal all.

I love my princess so much just like I love my son and I’m just so thankful that they have an amazing bond with each other even though it’s a year and 3 months apart. They go together like PB&J. Watching them together is like an amazing surreal movie. These interactions between her and her brother are  the best thing a mother could watch.

This little girl has brought something special to our family.  🙂